My story

I remember standing in my bedroom in front of my desk when I was in high school, and having this thought, “I don’t think I can be a very good mom if I decide to go to school to be a medical doctor. I think I will go to school to be a nurse.” So I went to school to be a nurse. Granted, I had considered also being a teacher, but at this stage of my life I couldn’t explain how to cross the street so teaching did not seem like an idea of a good time.

My mom was a stay-at-home-mom, and that seemed to me to be the only way I could be a good mom. Granted, I did not want to stay home and be barefoot and pregnant for 20 years. I kind had it figured in the back of my head that once I sent the sweet little bundles of joy off to school, I would re-enter the job market and have a career. So I continued to prepare for this moment.

A few years into our marriage, I went back to school to get a Masters in Nursing.

Shortly after I started my Masters, my husband told me he was ready to start a family. I was far from ready. I wanted to finish my degree and maybe even get a job with my new found level of education. No part of me wanted to be pregnant and have a baby that I was responsible for. The dog at that time was enough.

Doesn’t God know us better than we know ourselves? Not long after that conversation and with graduation in the near future, I told my husband I was ready to have a baby.

God’s Story

So I waited. Then I prayed. And I still waited.

Pretty soon my good friend who had gone to school to be a medical doctor called to tell me she was pregnant. I asked the Lord how come I couldn’t get pregnant. I had given up on a dream to be a doctor so I could be a mom.

Now my friend was going to be doctor and a mom. Life seemed so unfair. So I struggled with the Lord. Spent much time in prayer and pleading.

Five months later, God in His goodness allowed me to get pregnant. I know many have struggled with a much longer wait. Many have struggled and still have not become pregnant. I cannot understand that depth of hurt and struggle.

I do know God gave me a test. It seems that all the tests I had taken to get through nursing school and grad school were acceptable, but a test from God…Don’t we question what He is doing?

So I became a mom after I graduated from grad school. I was a master’s prepared mom. My babies did not seem to care how much education I had. All they cared about was if I was going to meet their needs.

God’s Plan

You may be struggling with if you are ever going to get pregnant. God has a plan. He may be testing you. God may be reminding you that His timing is better than your timing. He may also have you on this road for a long time.

What I know is that God loves us. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts, but sometimes those desires are not what He sees as the best desires.

Share your story. Share the burden of your heart and let others help you carry it. Lay your burden at the feet of Jesus and let Him carry it. After all, He loves you so much He sent His son for you.