strife

“By insolence comes nothing but strife,

But with those who take advice is wisdom.”

Proverbs 13:10

For those of you that have been reading my blog, you know that I have been listening to books. I have been listening to a bit of a variety of books, but recently have been listening to some historical fiction. I just finished a book about the personal librarian of J.P. Morgan. I didn’t even know that J.P. Morgan had a personal library, which is now open to the public, but to have a personal librarian that did nothing but work for him in his library. As I listened to this book I was struck by a number of things, but the one thing I want to elaborate on today has to do with our verse. J.P. Morgan was a very powerful man with a lot of money. He and his librarian had a dream about what the vision for the library should be. As they hunted down original manuscripts and art work, it had to fit in with this vision. J.P. Morgan trusted his librarian as an expert. He knew that she was doing nothing but devote her life to his library. She was well read and did much to educate herself even to teach herself other languages so she could read the manuscripts she was acquiring to be sure that they were authentic. Even though J.P. Morgan had the money, he trusted his librarian and her skill and knowledge in acquiring the valuable treasures that they obtained.

If at the end of the day, J.P. Morgan did not think that a certain item should be purchased his librarian had to submit to his final decision. On most occasions, J.P. Morgan submitted to her decisions since she was wholly vested in this project.

Imagine if either one of them in their endeavors to accomplish their purpose for the library were insolent or proud and were not interested in the opinion of the other. This would have caused nothing but strife. There would have been no peace and no decision would have been made. Rather, they were willing to take the advice of the other and reach a conclusion.

So often when a decision in our life needs to be made, we tend to only see this decision through our eyes and not through the eyes of anyone else. We only see the steps and the outcomes that we envision, and we don’t think that an outcome will turn out any other way than how we think it will turn out. There are many others that have gone before us that would gladly tell you that they wished they would have sought the advice of another or listened to the advice of another, and now they are stuck in a hard place. They think to themselves, “if only I would have listened…”

When we are proud or insolent, we don’t want to listen to what someone else has to say. We are not eager to glean advice from someone else and if we do seek advice from someone else and we are proud, we think that the other person does not know what they are talking about. This causes strife in the relationship. Do you have a relationship that is tense, full of strife, or you are not on the best terms with that person? Is there a relationship that was once close and now because of something that someone said to you caused you to retreat from the relationship because you didn’t like the advice that was given? The relationship might still be intact, but is it superficial?

God gave people into our lives for relationship. He gave us people to help us through life. If we think we know everything and don’t need to listen to advice from others especially our parents or those that are older than us, we will continue to cause conflict in our relationships. There will be strife with others.

What is the conclusion we must make from this Proverb for our lives. Be willing to listen. Be willing to ask questions when someone gives you advice and you don’t understand why they said what they said. Be willing to ponder over the relationship and take into account the care, love, and concern the speaker has for you. Too often we are blind to what others see; we have blind spots in our lives. Just like a driver who may have a blind spot when driving, so we have blind spots in our lives and need to heed the advice of others so we don’t miss out on wise counsel. When we are unwilling to listen, there will be strife in a relationship and we will miss out on the wisdom that will help us better live out God’s purpose in our lives.