Proverbs

26
Jul
2023

Strife or Advice

“By insolence comes nothing but strife,

But with those who take advice is wisdom.”

Proverbs 13:10

For those of you that have been reading my blog, you know that I have been listening to books. I have been listening to a bit of a variety of books, but recently have been listening to some historical fiction. I just finished a book about the personal librarian of J.P. Morgan. I didn’t even know that J.P. Morgan had a personal library, which is now open to the public, but to have a personal librarian that did nothing but work for him in his library. As I listened to this book I was struck by a number of things, but the one thing I want to elaborate on today has to do with our verse. J.P. Morgan was a very powerful man with a lot of money. He and his librarian had a dream about what the vision for the library should be. As they hunted down original manuscripts and art work, it had to fit in with this vision. J.P. Morgan trusted his librarian as an expert. He knew that she was doing nothing but devote her life to his library. She was well read and did much to educate herself even to teach herself other languages so she could read the manuscripts she was acquiring to be sure that they were authentic. Even though J.P. Morgan had the money, he trusted his librarian and her skill and knowledge in acquiring the valuable treasures that they obtained.

If at the end of the day, J.P. Morgan did not think that a certain item should be purchased his librarian had to submit to his final decision. On most occasions, J.P. Morgan submitted to her decisions since she was wholly vested in this project.

Imagine if either one of them in their endeavors to accomplish their purpose for the library were insolent or proud and were not interested in the opinion of the other. This would have caused nothing but strife. There would have been no peace and no decision would have been made. Rather, they were willing to take the advice of the other and reach a conclusion.

So often when a decision in our life needs to be made, we tend to only see this decision through our eyes and not through the eyes of anyone else. We only see the steps and the outcomes that we envision, and we don’t think that an outcome will turn out any other way than how we think it will turn out. There are many others that have gone before us that would gladly tell you that they wished they would have sought the advice of another or listened to the advice of another, and now they are stuck in a hard place. They think to themselves, “if only I would have listened…”

When we are proud or insolent, we don’t want to listen to what someone else has to say. We are not eager to glean advice from someone else and if we do seek advice from someone else and we are proud, we think that the other person does not know what they are talking about. This causes strife in the relationship. Do you have a relationship that is tense, full of strife, or you are not on the best terms with that person? Is there a relationship that was once close and now because of something that someone said to you caused you to retreat from the relationship because you didn’t like the advice that was given? The relationship might still be intact, but is it superficial?

God gave people into our lives for relationship. He gave us people to help us through life. If we think we know everything and don’t need to listen to advice from others especially our parents or those that are older than us, we will continue to cause conflict in our relationships. There will be strife with others.

What is the conclusion we must make from this Proverb for our lives. Be willing to listen. Be willing to ask questions when someone gives you advice and you don’t understand why they said what they said. Be willing to ponder over the relationship and take into account the care, love, and concern the speaker has for you. Too often we are blind to what others see; we have blind spots in our lives. Just like a driver who may have a blind spot when driving, so we have blind spots in our lives and need to heed the advice of others so we don’t miss out on wise counsel. When we are unwilling to listen, there will be strife in a relationship and we will miss out on the wisdom that will help us better live out God’s purpose in our lives.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments
12
Jul
2023

A Crown or Rotten Bones

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,

But she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 12:4

 

I have been listening to books this year. It is amazing to me how much listening time I have. One of my daughters has encouraged me to listen to some historical fiction, which has been some lighter listening than some of the other books I have listened to and the ones that I actually read the print on the page. I just finished a story set in the mid 1800’s about Empress Elisabeth “Sisi” married to Franz Joseph emperor of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. His empire stretched from Austria to Russia and from Germany to Italy. It is a totally different life than I am certainly used to. Servants to do everything for her from fixing her meals to styling her hair. She doesn’t have to lift a finger. The people of the kingdom all love her, even though she is waited on by her servants. She is still a down to earth empress and became their most beloved “Fairy Queen.”

Our verse from Proverbs contrasts two different wives. The first wife mentioned is excellent and appears to be a crown to her husband. The second wife brings shame to her husband and can be compared to rotten bones.

Let’s talk about each of these separately. We will also spend much more time and in-depth study on this when we get to Proverbs 31. How does one go about being an excellent wife that is a crown to her husband? A crown is a beautiful adornment that adds beauty to the wearer. It is a symbol of power and majesty. One of the things that is important when a man and a woman meet and consider marriage is do they make each other better people? Do they point each other to Christ? Does each one challenge the other in their walk with the Lord encouraging them on to grow in the Lord? The closer our walk with the Lord is the better our lives will be. The closer we look like Christ, the better our relationship will be. Do you as the wife “spur your husband on to love and good works?” (Heb. 10:24).

One of the ways I have tried to adorn my husband is by being his assistant.  I still firmly believe that the husband should be the primary provider for the household income. So as his assistant or help meet, I do what I can to make it easier for my husband to do his job. If we need to have something repaired at the house, I do everything I can to make sure that I am at home when the service person arrives. I was the primary caretaker for our daughters. My husband would assist me, but he was busy with his job so it fell to me to care for them.

What do my words reflect about my husband? When I am in the presence of others, do I build my husband up or do I tear him down? Do I find something nice to say about him and then share those things with others? Or do I spew forth every sin that he has committed, every fault that irritates me, every choice that he makes that is not wrong just different?

Do I treat him with love and respect? Does he enjoy being around me because I encourage him and seek to bring out the best in him?

The wife who brings shame is the opposite of these things. She has nothing nice to say about him. Because of her words, her husband is not esteemed by others. She does not build him up before others so now others think the worst of him.

Our Proverb mentions rotten bones. A man that does not have the support of his wife cannot stand before others. His reputation is not one of strength or godly leadership, but one of weakness – rotten bones.

This wife is not looking out for the best interest of her family, but rather she is looking out for her own best interest. If her husband wants a hot meal on the table he must not only make the money to buy the food, but must also cook the food. There is no teamwork in this marriage, but rather the husband’s sole purpose in the wife’s eyes is to serve her. He cannot fulfill his God given leadership role in the home because his wife is too busy clamoring for her needs that she thinks needs to be met.

As a wife, I want to be an asset to my husband. I want him to be successful in what he does so I seek to serve him. I may not receive any praise or recognition for what I do, but he is able to accomplish more because I encourage him, fill in the gaps, and spur him on to lead like Christ.

I have not always loved my husband perfectly. I have not always been an adornment to his head, but my goal is to be excellent in what I do and say so that I don’t cause weakness in him.

Just as Sisi and Franz Joseph wore crowns that set them apart from those that were around them, so I must adorn my husband in a way that sets him apart from those he is with. I need to be his #1 cheerleader, encouraging him in all that he does. Do I listen to him when he needs a listening ear without judging? Do my actions adorn him and bring out the best in him? Do my words come back to him throughout his day and help him get through the tough things he has to do? Does he feel appreciated for all he does, so when his day is hard and long he knows it is all worth it because he is providing for us, providing for someone who appreciates what he does? Am I sympathetic to his struggles?

We as wives have great power. We can either cause strength or weakness, honor or dishonor, joy or sorrow. As a wife, look at your actions and your words. Where do you fall? If you do not know, ask your husband. I am sure he will readily tell you where you stand.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments
10
May
2023

Are you wise or a scoffer?

My husband and I were out with our daughters last week. We had eaten together and after dinner my husband told one of our daughters that she had something in her teeth. This has happened to most of us. Maybe we didn’t have something in our teeth, maybe it was something on our face or on our clothes. Why is that we didn’t know about these things in our teeth, on our face, or on our clothes? We couldn’t see them. What about the time you walk out with a black sock and a blue sock on? Again, we got dressed in the dark and didn’t see that the colors were not the same. So often we are “blinded” because we aren’t in front of a mirror, aren’t looking for the stain on our clothes, or are in the dark when we get dressed.

Life is the same.

What does Proverbs have to say about when we point out flaws, correct, or reprove someone?

Proverbs 9:7-9 “Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser, teach a righteous man and he will increase in learning.”

A scoffer is someone who expresses contempt to others. So when you point out to a scoffer things you see in their life that is a poor choice, a character flaw, or a sin they will not receive what you have to say to them about them with kind reception. Rather, they will respond poorly. They may verbally abuse you. They may reject you and the relationship that you had with them. They do not accept what you have to say. As a matter of fact, they will do everything in their power to prove you wrong.

They do not see you as someone that can objectively see the ketchup on their face or the food in your teeth, rather they think that you do not know what you are talking about and have the wrong perspective. They refuse to listen to what you have to say and think that they know much better than you do about their life. They refuse to look introspectively to see the “thing” that you are bringing to their attention.

What kind of injury do you receive from the wicked man? (Prov. 9:7). When we open our mouths and point out something in someone’s life that they do not see, we risk losing the relationship. We risk losing a good friend that we enjoyed living life with. We risk losing that family member that we spent time making many memories together. Holidays are no longer the same because they refuse to be a part. Maybe the person that we risked pointing out the sin, the blind spot, or a poor choice will take to social media and spew forth unkind things about us. Maybe they will gossip and tell a tale about us that is not true in order to get back at us for what we said. They want to injure our reputation. So they poor forth lies about us. We may be injured. Our reputation may be injured. Unfortunately for them, they are so busy trying to prove you wrong, that they end up injuring themselves.

What will a wise man or woman do when they are given instruction? They will gladly accept it. They will appreciate the fact that you had the courage to risk the relationship to point out to them the sin, the blind spot, or the poor choice that they are making. The righteous man or woman will gladly look introspectively into their life and see the things that you noticed and appreciate you for having the courage to speak up. Since you did have the courage to speak truth into their lives, rather than harming the relationship, the relationship will be stronger and better for the instruction that you gave.

So my question for you dear friend is this: Which person are you? When someone reproves you, what do you do? Do you pour out abuse on the poor person that spoke up? Do you gladly receive the rebuke from someone and seek to change so that you can be more conformed to the image of God’s Son? A scoffer is proud and a wise person is humble. Do some introspection and ask the Lord to help you see with new eyes the kind of person you are. After all, that piece of food that is between your teeth left there will be unattractive, but if removed will make you more pleasant to be looked on by others. So it is with rebuke. Seek the Lord.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
19
Apr
2023

7 things that are an Abomination to God

When our girls were growing up, there were some things that met with instant punishment. First time obedience was a must. If we asked them to do something, they needed to do it the first time we asked and not the 10th time. Disrespect and lying were also big no-nos.  One of my daughters had a pretty rough day in the disrespect category. Another spent a long time in my bedroom until she decided to tell the truth. Those moments were pivotal in their lives. They understood the value of respect and telling the truth. As parents, there are things that require our immediate attention. These things must be corrected quickly because if they are not, the children will begin to lay down habits that will forever taint their lives.

God gave us His word so that we would know what was required of us. The things we should do and the things we should not do.

“There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him; haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.” (Proverbs 6:16-19).

In Hebrew writing there is a common literary device which is this 1+ saying. Six yeah seven. Not that they didn’t know how to count or they thought of one more thing after they started writing. Rather, it was common in the wisdom literature to draw attention to what was to follow. It also was used to draw attention to the last item in the list. The last item in the list had great value. As we look at each of these things in the list, we can see that when we do any of the first 6 things it will cause the 7th thing.

These are the things that God hates or are an abomination to Him. In other words, He absolutely abhors them.

  1. Haughty eyes

The first thing on our list is pride. The sin that took Lucifer from being an angel of light for God to an angel of darkness was his pride. Is. 14:13-15 is a quotation from Satan when he sinned. The word “I” punctuates the beginning of every sentence. “I will ascend to heaven…I will set my throne on high…I will sit on the mount of assembly…I will ascend above the heights of the clouds…I will make myself like the Most High…” The pride mentioned here is so strong that it can be seen in the person’s eyes. Their countenance portrays what is in their heart. Those that are proud will flee self-examination and will blame or attempt to destroy those that highlight their deficiencies.  Those that are proud hate failure. When they do fail, they won’t ever blame themselves. They will blame someone or something else. It is never their fault. Have you met someone who is unwilling to ever admit their fault? What about a person who refuses wise counsel? What about a person who thinks that the only person that is right is them?

  1. A Lying Tongue

Have you ever played 2 truths and a lie? Each person has to say 2 things about themselves that is true and one thing that is a lie. The lie has to be something that is believable. Have you met people who lie and are believable? You believe everything they say, only to find out later that they lied to you. Then when you confront them about their lie, they tell another lie to cover up the first lie. Many times when we are in the company of these liars, they make us feel uncomfortable. These with a lying tongue bring about confusion on the part of those that are within earshot of their lies. Do you ever feel a sense of confusion when you are in the company of someone or they make you feel uncomfortable? You need to start doing some fact checking. Not only do those that tell lies confuse others, they also are self-deceived. “…the folly of fools is deceiving.” (Prov. 14:8).

  1. Hands that Shed Innocent Blood

This seems evident that God would hate murder. After all, when one person murders another, they are taking the life of that person made in the image of God. Abortion is murder. There should be no debate about this. Yet there is. In 1919, Congress passed the 19th amendment that allowed women the right to vote. This topic has not been hotly debated in 100 years. This topic does not receive publicity. There are no longer debates regarding the legitimacy of this. Abortion, on the other hand, continues to receive much attention. We live in a fallen world that allows doctors to murder unborn babies. Those that believe the baby is a precious life made in the image of God fight for the rights of those unborn children. Those that believe it is “their body their choice” fight for the right to murder the unborn baby. God hates the shedding of innocent blood. Babies are the most innocent that there is. They cannot even put up a fight.  We must also remember the words of John in I John 3:15 “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer…” It is not just the physical act of murder that God calls an abomination, it is also what we harbor in our hearts toward others that can be called murder.

  1. A Heart that Devises Wicked Plans

Do you ever wonder what is in your heart? Look first at how you respond to all the circumstances that happen in your life. If your response to every circumstance honors the Lord, you have a heart that honors the Lord. Our hearts in Scripture could also be called our desires. What is it you desire? What is it you want? When you lay awake at night and cannot sleep or you have a moment when your brain is not busy with work or whatever else may require brainpower, what do you find yourself thinking on? Are you dwelling on those things that glorify God like how to serve and love others? Or are you busy dwelling on how you can satisfy your selfish desires? If you are devising, scheming, or planning ways to satisfy your selfish desires, these are wicked plans. If you have to sin in order to accomplish the wicked plans your heart has devised, then you know that what you are planning is an abomination to God. Will your desires hurt someone else or will they glorify God? Take some time to consider what it is that you want. We do what we do, because we want what we want.

  1. Feet that Make Haste to Run to Evil

It is one thing to have a heart that devises wicked plans, but it heaps on our sin when we also carry out those wicked plans. These people are so eager to satisfy their desires they are hastily running to do evil.  We see this in our streets today. In so many big cities, we see people with feet that are quickly running to ransack buildings, cars, and people’s livelihood.  There is no respect of others or their possessions. We have allowed there to be mayhem and chaos. Sin does not produce peace, rather sin produces chaos and disorder. Two of our daughters are teachers. When there is peace in the classroom, it is because everyone is following the rules of the classroom. When there is chaos in the classroom, it is because the students that are creating the chaos are quickly running to evil. What surrounds your life? Peace and calm or chaos and drama? What is your heart devising that your feet are hastily running toward? Is it peace that brings glory to God or satisfaction of your selfish desires that is deceitful and brings chaos?

  1. A False Witness Who Breathes Out Lies

In the same list of seven things that God hates or are an abomination to Him, two of these mentioned include lying. Jesus calls Himself the ‘’Truth” in John 14:6. “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” The Word “truth” is used over 200 times in the Bible. Lying is an affront to the character of God since one of the names of Jesus is “truth.” Jesus calls Himself the “Truth” and the person mentioned here that God says is an abomination is a false witness. These are diametrically opposed to each other.  Satan is the Father of Lies. (John 8:44). As was mentioned earlier, someone who lies will make us feel uneasy or confused because we are never sure that what they are saying is believable. God, on the other hand, and His Word are the truth. Anything that contradicts God’s Word and makes us feel uneasy needs to be thoroughly investigated. Remember, “…the folly of fools is deceiving.” (Prov. 14:8).

  1. One Who Sows Discord Among Brothers

Pride, a lying tongue, a murderer, a heart that devises wicked plans, and feet that make haste to run to evil will bring about discord. A person that possesses any of the previously mentioned six qualities will bring about discord, a disruption of peace. Relationships are valuable. God created us to have relationship with Him. He created mankind to have relationship with each other. After God created man, He created woman. “Then the Lord God said, ‘it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Gen 2:18). God created us in His design for relationship. Discord in relationship began to happen because of sin. We saw this first with Adam and Eve and the blame game that happened. We can cause discord in our relationships when we possess the first six qualities mentioned in this list. Others can cause chaos in our relationships when they sow discord. Have you had a disruption in a relationship? Maybe the relationship is not what it once was. Sometimes it is our pride or lying tongues that cause a break in the relationship. Other times, it can be others that sow discord by telling lies or creating drama/chaos in another relationship. Someone else can drive a wedge in another’s relationship with someone out of jealousy or desire to control a relationship.

In Hebrew literature, the seventh thing is the culmination. Discord, strife, conflict in relationships are generally caused by the first six things on this list. Do you have a relationship that has strife or discord? Or a relationship that is not what it once was? The first thing you must do is evaluate the cause. Did you cause it? Did the other person cause it? Did a third party cause it? God does not care who caused the disruption in the relationship. He tells us that no matter who caused the disruption, we should seek to mend it. “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Mt. 5:23, 24) It is always your turn to seek to mend a relationship.

 

God sent His Son Jesus to reconcile us to Himself. (Col.1:19, 20). God highly values reconciliation. If there is discord, strife, or conflict between you and someone else, do not let your pride get in the way. Go and be reconciled. Jesus gave His life. That is how highly God values reconciliation.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
11
Apr
2023

Go to the Ant

I have been seeing and killing some black ants in my house. I always wonder where they come from and what makes them think coming inside is a good idea. I always see ants in my garden too. I move a rock or pull up a weed and they come scurrying trying to take their eggs to a safer place. We have all seen an ant carry an object bigger than itself. They have been documented to carry 20 times their body weight. If I carried 20 times by body weight, I would be able to carry 2,500 pounds. (If you do the math, you can figure out how much I weigh:). They will travel up to 700 feet from their nest for food, and will follow scent trails back to their nest after dark. Rather than sleep like humans do, they take eight minute power naps every 12 hours. Someone in the colony is always working. They are incredible creatures.

It is no wonder that God through the pen of Solomon told us to “Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.” (Proverbs 6:6).

Solomon used the little ant as a reprove for those who are sluggards, in our terminology today they are lazy. What things can we learn from Scripture about the ant?

The 1st lesson we need to learn from the ant is that we need to be self-motivated and self-directed.

The ant does not have a “chief, officer, or ruler.” (Prov. 6:7) In other words, the ant does not have someone to tell it what to do. The ant does not need a boss telling them what time to be to work, what they are supposed to do for their work, and how much effort they are to put into their work. The ant is self-motivated and self-directed. How many company owners would love to have employees like this? We had some trees cut down last week. The guy who cut the trees down has done some work for us in the past. During previous times, he had multiple employees. This time it was just him and his dad. He told me that he had a hard time getting any reliable help that worked as hard as his dad did.

This concept is also applied in the home. Whether one is a spouse or a child, the concept of being self-motivated and self-directed goes a long way in building and maintaining godly home relationships. A child who is self-motivated or directed can see the things that need to be done such as keeping their room clean, picking up after themselves, or clearing the supper dishes. A spouse who is self-directed or motivated can also see the things that need to be done without having to always be asked to take care of needed chores around the house. A home is a team effort and when there is someone that spends most of their time sitting on the couch watching television or surfing their phone while the others are busy taking care of household chores, the “couch potato” would be considered a sluggard.

The 2nd lesson we need to learn from the ant is the need to plan ahead.

The ant “prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.” (Prov. 6:8). In other words, the ant prepares for times ahead. The ant knows that she needs to follow the calendar and prepare for when food is scarce. My husband comes from parents who are planners, hence my husband is a planner. They have lists for their lists. We like to talk about next Christmas before we even celebrate the current Christmas. I don’t even get a chore complete and he is planning for the next chore that needs to be done. The ant prepares and plans for the future. Again, an employer would love to have their employees plan for the future. Knowing what projects will take more time and planning accordingly.

The 3rd lesson we need to learn from the ant is the need to glorify God through our responsibilities.

A sluggard or a lazy person is found in bed more time than they are found on the job. (Prov. 6:9). When we miss work because we are in bed, call in sick as many days as possible, or are late to work because we overslept, we are lazy. God has given us responsibilities that we need to accomplish. These responsibilities are used so that we can fulfill our purpose in life, to glorify God. (Is. 43:7). If our employers or our families cannot count on us, then we are not glorifying God. Our families count on us to be carrying our load of the responsibilities. When our daughters lived under our roof, they each had responsibilities based on their age and abilities. They did not get the option to sit and play all day, but rather they had to get out of bed and do their chores. The same goes for a spouse. He or she must be reliable and fulfill their responsibilities and not place the burden of all responsibilities on the other. Our goal in our families is to seek to steward the relationships that God has given us in a way that glorifies Him.

The 4th lesson we learn from the ant is that their hands are busy.

The sluggard “folds his hands” (Prov. 6:10). It is hard to be busy with your hands when they are folded. No work can be done with folded hands. The result of these “folded hands” is “poverty” and “want.”  A lazy person will have folded hands that will result in not providing for the needs of their family. If a child’s responsibility is to load the dishwasher and they never do, the dishes will be dirty and the family will want for clean dishes to eat their meals on. If the husband and/or wife do not go to work to provide for the bills that must be paid, the family will experience “poverty” and “want.”

A sluggard is not just someone that fails to go to work to meet the everyday needs they have. A person can be a hard worker outside the home, but fail to “carry their weight” in the home. If they do this, they are also a sluggard.

In America we have become accustom to wanting life to be easy. When we desire ease, we fail to value hard work. This desire for an easy life can be seen in many different areas of our lives.

As you evaluate your life, think about how you respond in every circumstance. Do you want to glorify God and work hard, or do you want to take the sluggard’s way out? Are you self-motivated? Do you plan ahead? Do you glorify God in all your responsibilities? Are your hands folded or busy?

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment
05
Apr
2023

Confusion or Clarity

There are various methods for Bible study. As I have been writing this blog on the book of Proverbs, I have been making columns of the positives and negatives that are in each chapter. It certainly has helped me to organize the main concepts and ideas in each chapter. Proverbs calls these positives and negatives the way of the wise and the way of the fool. How many of us want someone to call us a fool? Wise? There are many different characteristics that define those that are wise or foolish. While we are on this side of heaven there will daily be things in our lives that would be characterized as foolish. The goal that God has for us is that with each day we live more wisely and continue to put off the foolish ways of our old self. (Eph. 4: 22-24).

As we enter Proverbs 5, we see wisdom contrasted with foolishness. Both wisdom and foolishness are referred to often as “she.” Proverbs 5 has four main characters. The father is speaking again to his son. We have seen this in the last four chapters. He is telling his son that he needs to be aware of the “forbidden woman” and be satisfied with the love of his wife.

Just because the father is speaking to his son, does not mean that there are only principles for young men in this Proverbs. There are principles in this Proverb for all.

Solomon says again that his son needs to listen, be attentive, incline his ear, and not depart from the wise words he was sharing with his son.  How many times have we as parents told our kids the same thing only in different ways?

I homeschooled my kids. I remember teaching a concept to one of our daughters. I explained the concept to her a number of different ways. Finally, the last way she understood it and said, “Why didn’t you explain it to me this way in the first place?” We all have different learning styles. We explain things how we understand them best first. That is what I did in this particular situation, but that was not the best way for her learn.

God has been using the pen of Solomon to tell us the same thing in different ways over and over again, and will continue to do so throughout the entire book of Proverbs. Why? We all learn different ways, and need things explained in different ways.

We understand the wisdom that Solomon was trying to impart on his son and also consequently on us. He keeps reminding him to listen. Do we listen to those that are wise?

The negatives in this chapter are the description of the forbidden woman, but no one is saying that only women are evil and men are perfect. Since Solomon was speaking to his son in this book, he would be warning him about the forbidden woman. If he was speaking to his daughter, he would have warned her about the forbidden man.

Let’s look at these qualities of the foolish person. They are deceptive (Prov. 5:3), leave us with a feeling of uneasiness (5:4), lead to a bad/deadly outcome (5:5), no thought to the consequences of their actions (5:6), no direction or goals (5:6), and self-deceived (5:6).

What happens to us when we do not listen and allow our lives to become entangled with a foolish person? We will lose our reputation and our integrity (5:9). The foolish are deceivers and manage to swindle others. God has called us to be good stewards of what He has given to us, but when we seek to satisfy our selfish desires the satisfaction we are seeking through these selfish desires never satisfies.

What is the conclusion of this chapter that compares and contrasts the wise and the foolish person? Proverbs 5:12-14 tell us what the foolish person looks like so then the converse of this would be the characteristics of a wise person.

“And you say, ‘How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers, or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.’” (Prov. 5:1-14)

The wise person listens to those that are wise, searches God’s Word for the principles necessary to live a life of wisdom, and surrounds themselves with people that are wise. Do you run to God first when seeking to make a decision? Do you seek the counsel of those that are wise when making a decision? Do the people that you surround yourself with have godly goals?

The foolish person will leave us with a feeling of uneasiness or confusion. They will deceive you into helping them fulfill their desires, but have no care for what your desires are. They are seeking for others to meet their needs.

“For a man’s/woman’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.” (Prov. 5:21)

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15
Mar
2023

When Solomon Speaks…

As a child, I grew up in a small town. We had three different channels on T.V. maybe 4 on a good day. I was the remote control. My dad would have me stand at the T.V. and change the channel for him. For that matter, I was also the garage door opener. I can remember my dad falling asleep on the couch watching something on T.V. that I didn’t want to watch, so I would get up and slowly turn down the volume of what he was watching. Then I would change the channel and slowly turn up the volume. It was my finest hour if I could watch a show I wanted to watch and he remained asleep. Remember, there were only 3-4 channels to watch so the choices weren’t that great.

There is one commercial that I still remember to this day. It ran for about 15 years. The commercial was generally set with a crowd of people. One person would lean in as if to tell a secret to another person, and say “My broker is E.F. Hutton, and E. F. Hutton says.” When the actor said E.F Hutton a hush would fall over the crowd and everyone would stop what they were doing and lean in so they could hear the financial advice that came from E.F. Hutton. We never would hear what E.F. Hutton was advising, but we certainly knew that whatever it was, it must be worth listening to.

As I have been studying and writing these blogs on Proverbs, I have been reminded of the E.F Hutton commercial. Each chapter that we have looked at so far keeps reminding us to listen. Proverbs 4:1 starts with “hear.” Solomon doesn’t tell us over and over to talk. Rather, he tells us to hear. He tells us to hear, to be attentive.

Solomon, who wrote Proverbs, was the son of King David and Bathsheba. King David is said to be a “man after God’s own heart.” (I Sam. 13:14). King David who killed a lion and a bear with his slingshot as a boy, and then killed the mighty giant Goliath. King David who humbly served King Saul and would do nothing to hurt “God’s anointed.” (I Sam 24:10). King David who was anointed to be King by God and Samuel, but he would not take the throne from Saul. He honored Saul, even though Saul was not honorable.

This same David was the father of Solomon. Was David perfect? No. He committed some sins that most of us would count as big bad sins. Yet, Solomon saw the value of listening to his father. “When I (Solomon) was a son with my father (King David), tender (meaning he was young) the only one in the sight of my mother (Bathsheba). He (King David) taught me and said to me (Solomon), ‘Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth.’” (Proverbs 4:3-5).

The beauty of this whole thing is that Solomon valued what he learned from his father so much, he taught it to his son. “Hear, my son, and accept my words.” (Prov. 4:10).

Imagine with me being in the court of Solomon. There is conversation going on around in Solomon’s court. Then Solomon clears his throat and says to his son, “Son, be attentive, Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.” (Proverbs 4:5-9).

Solomon is telling his son that in order to have the honor that his father David had, “he needed to listen to what he had to say, and do not forsake his teaching.” (Prov. 4:2).

In other words, when Solomon speaks, everyone listens.

There is nothing more sweet to a parent than to hear their children repeat the things that they have heard their parents say. Imagine how proud David would have been to know that Solomon was quoting him to his son. When we teach and live out what we have been taught, we know that it has taken root.

In order to be wise, Solomon says we must listen. In order to listen, we must be humble. Those that were surrounding the actor quoting E.F. Hutton knew that what E.F Hutton says was worth listening to. This requires humility to realize that you don’t know everything and need to learn from those who do.

“I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered, and if you run, you will not stumble.” (Proverbs 4:11, 12)

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08
Feb
2023

Then You Will Understand

As we study the book of Proverbs there are some key threads that can be found in almost every chapter, fear the Lord and listen to those that are wise. If we were to outline the book almost every topic would be able to fall under these two major categories.

As we dive into Proverbs 2, both of these major themes are interwoven. As I have grown in the Lord and been seeing the things of my heart revealed through various circumstances that happen, I see how valuable fearing the Lord is.

Proverbs 2:5 tells us “THEN you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.”

If we look at the verses preceding verse 5, we can see what the prescription is for understanding the fear of the Lord and finding “the knowledge of God.”

Proverbs 2:1 tells us to “receive God’s words and treasure up His commandments.”

We must receive God’s Words. When we receive something we have the idea of accepting it. Have you ever taken something, but did not really want it? One of my daughters (who shall remain anonymous) had asked for a specific shirt for Christmas. I saw one that was similar and I really liked it, so I bought it for her instead. It was not the one that she wanted. She opened the present and took it home with her, but most likely won’t wear it or will wear it for yard work or as a paint shirt. However, when I got her something that she really did want she told me all about how she was going to use it and how much this was going to be helpful in her life. This is what receiving God’s Words is like.

We sit in church, read our Bibles, go to a Sunday School class, or listen to a podcast and hear the Words of God, but what do we do with them? Are we like the shirt that was opened but not used for its intended purpose? We hear the words, but there is no application or change in our lives? Or are we like the other gift that will transform our lives and bring about change.

When we receive God’s Word and treasure it, there will be change. There cannot help but be change. However, when we accept the gift of God’s Word, but do not see the value and the treasure that it will add to our lives it is in essence going in one ear and out the other. No brain cells captured the words of wisdom.

Proverbs 2:2 tells us that we must “make our ear attentive to wisdom and incline our heart to understanding.” This sounds purposeful. This is not something that happens naturally. We are naturally bent towards laziness and gluttony or the satisfaction of our sinful desires. We don’t want to listen to wisdom if it contradicts the desires of our hearts. Have you ever taken a moment and actually thought about what you really wanted? Try it and see what you come up with. Would you be like Solomon who asked God for wisdom when you could get whatever desire you wanted?

Proverbs 2:3, 4 concludes in telling us what we must do in order to understand the Fear of the Lord.

“Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures” (Proverbs 2:3, 4)

These verses are telling us that every part of our lives is seeking wisdom. We are listening for wisdom. We are seeking wisdom from all the right sources. We are searching for it like we would a lost treasure.

My husband and I love to watch mystery shows. Right now we are watching a show that involves some college students searching for a lost treasure that was hidden by three different tribes of Indians to keep it safe. They are setting aside everything in their lives and laying aside their own personal safety to find this treasure. Their goal in life is to find the treasure.

Is your goal in life no matter the cost to seek wisdom? Godly Wisdom? When you receive this godly wisdom do you seek to use it in your everyday life or do you cast it aside because it does not help you in satisfying your desires?

The key to understanding the Fear of the Lord is searching for wisdom from the right sources and then using it daily in your life because it is a treasure!

“Then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” (Proverbs 2:5)

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25
Jan
2023

Valuable Words

As we continue our study of Proverbs, let us revisit the definition of wisdom. What is wisdom? Wisdom is the ability to navigate life. Everyone is navigating life. The question is how are we navigating life? The remainder of Proverbs 1 gives us some clues as to how to determine if you are navigating life in a way of wisdom or a way of folly. Every decision we make will affect our lives. We do not realize or think about how each decision will impact the decisions we make in the future.

We all understand this when it comes to what we eat, at least I think we do.  If you eat 1 doughnut every day, that does not seem to be that big of a deal, but that 1 doughnut provides no nutritional value and adds calories that our body has to burn. Pretty soon we will have added 20 pounds to our body and our joints will wear out sooner and our cholesterol will be elevated. One doughnut seems like no big deal, but over time that choice will affect our future health.

Wisdom

How we navigate life – WISDOM – is made up of tiny little choices that we make every day.

My last two blogs (To Know and Receive Wisdom and Fear God or Foolishness) gave us an introduction to Proverbs. The remainder of Proverbs chapter one I have condensed into two different lists. The two lists are the way of wisdom and the foolishness.

The first thing on the list is to listen to your father and your mother’s teaching. The book of Proverbs is addressed to a “son” of Solomon. The word “son” is used 55 times in the book of Proverbs. The word “Father” is used 26 times and the word “Mother” is used 14 times.

Solomon is trying to tell his son and also all of those that have come after him that read the book of Proverbs that the most important thing we can do in order to be wise and navigate life in a way that is wise is to listen as children to our parents and to their teaching.

Listen

Why should a child listen to their parents? God gave each parent the child/children that He knew would need those parents. I could have had any number of parents and yet God chose the parents that he knew that I needed. He chose the parents that He knew you needed as well. He chose the children you have to be your children.

1. Lived Life

Since God chose these particular people to be our parents, there must be a reason or two. The first reason is that each of our parents have lived life longer than we have. They have made decisions, both good and bad decisions, and they want to be sure that you learn from them so you do not make the same poor choices that have hurt them or you make the same godly choices that have helped them.

2. Know Us

The second reason that we need to listen to our parents is because they know us. Just as God knows everything about us, He has given us parents that know us. They know what we like and what we don’t like. They know our strengths and our weaknesses. They have walked through every day of life with us so they know and share the memories that we have.

Whenever there is a choice to make, we should consult our parents and include them in our decisions. As we age, we begin to make decisions on our own because we have been practicing with our parents how to navigate life –WISDOM- in a way that is honoring God.

Our parents have sacrificed so much for us. I have sacrificed so much for my kids, and I would do it all over again. Parents have done so much to invest in the lives of their kids. Why would we not want their input and words of wisdom in our lives? Why would we shy away from their advice?

If we do shy away from their advice, what is our reasoning? Do we shy away from their advice, because it contradicts what we want? We must ask ourselves, why does it contradict?

As we continue the study the book of Proverbs, we will delve into these ideas in future blog posts. For now, consider with me how valuable your parents are and how valuable the words they want to share with you are.

Proverbs 1:8 “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching”

 

I have also kept the list in this post of what we see in someone that is wise and someone that is foolish from Proverbs 1.

 

Wise

Hear your father’s instruction

Do not forsake your mother’s teaching

Does not consent to enticement by sinners/foolish

Does not walk in the way with the foolish

Wisdom cries aloud the truth

Dwell secure

Easier life in the end because of the difficult choice to listen to wisdom in the beginning

Does not dread what is to come

Foolish

Entice others

Looks for ways to ambush the innocent –manipulates others

Looks for ways to take from others

Manipulates them into thinking that they will split all things (v. 14)

Runs to evil

Greedy

Takes from others unjustly

Simple

Scoff at the truth

Hate knowledge

Refuses to listen

Ignores wisdom’s counsel

Calamity will strike

Will be distressed and anguished

Hate knowledge

Did not choose the fear of the Lord

They will get what is coming to them because of their foolish choices

Complacent

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11
Jan
2023

To Know and Receive Wisdom

I have been reading the book of Proverbs every day for many years. I know that I have been reading one chapter a day for as long as we have lived in our current home, so that would be six years. The book of Proverbs was written by Solomon, the wisest of men. God asked Solomon what he wanted, and rather than asking for great riches or great power Solomon asked God for wisdom. (I Kings 3:5-14).

I have been reading the book of Proverbs along with other books of the Bible desiring to become wise. I ask God so often to give me wisdom, and yet I still feel so foolish. I know there is still so much more for me to learn and know. There is so much more for me to understand. One of the things that I do know is that I learn best by studying and then teaching what I learn to others.

It has been a while since I have consistently written my blog. Part of me has not known what to write about, and part of me decided that I was too busy. We will know as time goes by if this will continue to be a priority, or if it will fall by the wayside. So many things I enjoy doing and that clamor for my time.

Please, begin this study of Proverbs with me through this blog. I want to learn out loud if you will. As I learn and share the way of wisdom that God is teaching me, won’t you come along with me and learn.

The Proverbs of Solomon, son of David, King Israel:

To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight,

To receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity;

To give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth” (Proverbs 1:1-4)

 

The first thing I notice as I look at these verses is how each verse starts: to know, to receive, to give.

In order to give, we must first know and receive. The purpose of Proverbs is to become wise. I am pretty sure not too many people walk around saying, “I want to be a fool.” Most people would willingly admit that they want to be wise.

What is the requirements for being wise? “To know and to receive.” Before we can give out wisdom, we must be humble and respectful and willing to take in wisdom, instruction, and understanding.

How do we become wise? By listening. As we read through the book of Proverbs, the word listen or hear is used 30 times. There are other words that the author also uses that would indicate we need to be listening such as “receive” or be “attentive.”

The point that Solomon wants us to take with us from the book of Proverbs is that we need to listen to those that are wise. We need to willingly receive instruction from those who are wise. We cannot give knowledge and prudence (discernment) to others if we ourselves do not possess wisdom.

As I have gone through various situations in life, I seek to gain wisdom and prudence from those that have traveled the path of life before me. I diligently search God’s Word for answers to how to navigate difficult situations. I seek to have wise people in my life so that I can talk with them and ask them for direction. I spend much time in prayer seeking the Giver of perfect wisdom to discern how to handle a situation or navigate a difficult decision.

So when you are faced with a choice, no matter how great or how small, where do you turn?

As some of you may know, one of the things that I do is provide Biblical Counseling to others. I went through the requirements to become a certified Biblical Counselor. I was talking with one of my counselees this morning and she shared with me how important my encouragement to her to read God’s Word every day was. She said it has been so helpful in her life.

Are you reading God’s Word every day seeking to gain wisdom in the many situations you will face today? Start your day off with reading the book that God gave us so we know how to live in the way of wisdom and not the way of folly. This is the way “to know and to receive wisdom and instruction.”

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