love

20
Mar
2024

Burning Coals

“If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat,

and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,

for you will heap burning coals on his head

and the LORD will reward you.”

Proverbs 25:21, 22

I have not seen the play Les Misérables, but Dave and I watched the movie a few weeks ago. The main character Jean Valjean is an ex-convict. As he is trying to figure out what he is going to do with his life now that he has been released from prison, he stumbles onto a nice couple that take him in for the night. The man is a priest. During the night, Jean Valjean decides to steal the silver candlesticks and leave before he is found out. However, he is caught and the police bring him back to the priest. The priest when asked if the candlesticks were his tells the police that he gave Jean Valjean the candlesticks and asks his wife to also give him the silverware as he had meant to give him the silverware as well.

The priest was practically putting this verse into practice. He knew that Jean Valjean had stolen the silver candlesticks, but instead of berating him and putting him into jail he said to him, “Jean Valjean, my brother, you no longer belong to evil, but to good. It is your soul that I buy from you; I withdraw it from black thoughts and the spirit of perdition, and I give it to God.”

The priest had the end in mind. He knew that the best chance that Jean Valjean had for changing his life was to show him what kindness, goodness, and selflessness looked like. Too often when we are so self-involved we have no idea what true selflessness looks like. All a selfish person knows is how to look out for is themselves. They look at what their needs and wants are and do everything they can to satisfy those.

This verse tells us to demonstrate what kindness, goodness, and selflessness look like. The “enemy” will not have any idea how to change his ways if he is not shown what selflessness looks like. There is no better way to demonstrate kindness than to look at what the needs of the “enemy” is and seek to meet those needs.

So many times in relationships where we are being taken advantage of by another person or being mistreated by another person, we think that we need to flee or that we need to fight back. When we look at Jesus and how He lived His life we see that so many times what He did was demonstrate love. He chose to teach truth and demonstrate love. When our kindness is given to others, it is a stark contrast to the evil that the other person is demonstrating.

I am thankful that our society has become more aware of abuse and impact that it has on the abused. Dealing with abuse is not my intention in this short blog.

What I want us to consider is how we treat those around us. Do we think of their needs or do we think of our own? Do we seek to share the love of Christ by showering someone with kindness or trying to get our own way? The best way to show our “enemies” kindness, goodness, and selflessness is to return their evil deeds just like the priest did in Les Misérables to Jean Valjean. Jean would not have known what these traits looked like if he had not seen them demonstrated. Sometimes, it takes repeated efforts of kindness before our “enemy” changes his ways.

After all that Jesus did for me and what I do deserve, the least I can do is shower another person with kindness, goodness, and selflessness.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
02
Aug
2023

Love or Hate

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,

But he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Proverbs 13:24

 

Hate is a strong word. We can define “hate” as strong and passionate dislike for someone. There are many children that suffer from hate by their parents. They are abused and not taken care of. Their basic needs are not met, and they suffer from parents that are so self-absorbed they feel unloved and uncared for. These self-absorbed parents have no capacity to love their children because they spend all of their time focusing in themselves and how they might get the love and attention they feel like they deserve.

There are other parents who are the focus of this verse who think that discipline is a form of child abuse and so they do not say no to their children or provide any discipline in their lives. These parents let the children rule the home.

We have all seen these households as well. The parents will buy the child whatever they want and give in to the whims of the child. These children have no structure, guidelines, or discipline in their lives. The child rules the house.

The problem with this kind of parenting is that the children want structure, discipline, and guidelines. They want to feel loved, cared for, and safe. These parents think that when a child protests to the rules that it is easier to give in to the child rather than to hold their ground. When a spanking is needed or a “no” to a request is necessary, the parents give in when the child does not meekly submit to authority.

All children want to feel safe, cared for, and loved. They want to know what is expected of them even when they put up an argument or have a temper tantrum.

I like to look at discipline as a fence. We have raised multiple dogs and when these dogs are outside they are either on a leash or inside a fence. The purpose of the leash and the fence is for their protection. They pull on the leash and try to get outside of the fence whenever possible because they think that outside of these boundaries provides more fun and excitement and more smells than when confined. Yet, we all know that a pet that runs away has a very real chance of getting hit by a car. The fence and the leash for our dogs provide protection even though they didn’t understand this.

Discipline in the form of spanking, teaching, privileges removed, etc are each a form of protection for the child. The child does not understand these things in the moment, but the parents need to keep the end in mind. What kind of child do you want at the end of your raising journey?

A child may not tell you they feel loved and cared for when they are being disciplined. They may think that they are being abused.

One of our daughters as she grew older continued to push against the rules and guidelines that we had for her. I noticed that when I held my ground and continued to discipline her and not give in to her pleas and cries, she was happier. When I gave in to her pleas and cries, she was unhappy. The purpose of discipline is not happiness, but it is a welcome by-product of the discipline process.

When a child knows what is expected of him or her, and they know the consequences for not following these expectations they will be happier and healthier children. Children that do not know what is expected of them will live in fear. They will wonder what will cause their parent so to get angry with them.

When children do not understand and do not know what is expected of them, when there are no boundaries, they become fearful children. When children get whatever it is they want in order to pacify them, they become selfish children. They think the world revolves around them. Either one of these negative scenarios has consequences as they move on into adulthood. They struggle in relationships. They struggle in their jobs. They will struggle in their relationship with their parents.

Parenting is a hard job. It takes work, sacrifice, communication, intentionality, grace, humility, and forgiveness. Too many parents get caught in the trap of trying to do too many things as they raise their children. They then fall into the trap of not disciplining because it takes too much time.

As I look back on my days of raising our daughters, I don’t regret all that I gave up to be a stay at home mom. There are some things I wish I would have done better, and some things I wish I would have done a clearer job at communicating. I do not regret disciplining them. Self-control is best taught as they grow rather than them trying to learn it now.

Love your children enough to discipline them and do not spare the rod for their crying. Whenever I would spank my children, I always made sure that I was not angry. We would talk about the offense. They would pray and ask God to forgive them for the sin that they committed. They always had to seek the forgiveness of the person they had offended or wronged. We always ended in a hug. Many times my heart was hurting, but I knew that this moment was what was best for them.

 

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24
May
2023

Pot-stirrer or Peacemaker?

Hatred stirs up strife

But love covers all offenses

Proverbs 10:12

 

Have you ever heard the phrase, “that person is a pot-stirrer?”  The person being referred to in the saying usually creates chaos in their wake. They go to a family gathering, a party, or a co-worker and what ensues after being with them is disagreements, shouting matches, or strained relationships. After being in the presence of the pot-stirrer, one often leaves feeling hurt, misunderstood, or offended. They give off a sense of uneasiness. Other people are never quite sure of what they are going to get when they are in the presence of said “pot-stirrer.”

Why do you suppose that the “pot-stirrer” is like this? Why do they like to create drama and stress in the situations and relationships in their lives? Proverbs 10:12 tells us. They have hatred in their hearts. Rather than see others as people to love and cherish, they see others as a means to an end. These “pot-stirrers” are self-centered and want to always be the center of the conversation, the party, the family gathering, or the work environment. When they are not getting what they want, they create drama through gossip, arguments, or other attention getting measures so that the attention goes from others to them.

The opposite of hatred is love.  These lovers are peacemakers. They are the kindest people you ever wanted to meet. They see the best in every situation and are always looking for ways to encourage others and love them. They see the best in every situation and even when provoked they return with kind and considerate words. Their tone of voice is always gentle and their eyes sparkle with care and joy when in the presence of anyone. They always make you feel like you are the most important person in the room and when you leave their presence you feel lighter and have a smile on your face and a lilt in your step.

I remember a conversation I had with someone that lived out “love covers all offenses.” As we were talking, I was relating a mistake that I had made and the effect that it had on what we were working on. By the time we were finished talking, the kind lady made me feel like the error I had made was actually her error. I knew that it was me that had done the wrong, but I walked away feeling refreshed and joyful. I purposed after that to stop seeing every error not from my perspective but from the other person’s perspective. To give grace instead of humiliation in the presence of others that had committed a wrong or an offense.

When we determine to cover an offense, we breathe life into the relationship. We breathe life into the other person. We communicate through our actions that we love the other person and do not condemn them for the wrongs they have committed. I am not saying that when a crime is committed that we pretend the crime wasn’t committed and let the criminal keep carrying out their crimes. This does not show them love. This allows them to continue down a path of destruction.  This is not helpful for the individual.  There needs to be punishment for the crime, but their does not need to be bitterness over the crimes of the past.

What kind of person are you? Would your friends or family members call you a “pot-stirrer” or a peacemaker? Do you create chaos in your wake or do others feel encouraged when leaving your presence? Do others feel refreshed after being in your presence or do they feel like you always suck the wind out of their sails?

I have been in the presence of both of these kinds of people, and at the end of the day I want to be a peacemaker. I want to be the person that refreshes those that have spent time with me.

Hatred or love. Stirring or covering. Strife or peace.

The choice is up to you.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments
24
Feb
2021
Idols of the Heart

Idols of the Heart

Throughout the Old Testament, we see God commanding the people of Israel to “have no other gods before Him.” (Exodus 20:3). Yet, throughout the Old Testament we see the Israelites time and time again worshipping idols. I am currently reading through the book of Exodus and just read the account of the Golden Calf in Exodus 34. I look at these people and I think, “How quickly you have forgotten what God has done for you.” How could they forget the 10 plagues, crossing the Red Sea on dry ground, watching the Egyptian army that was coming after them be swallowed up by that Red Sea, manna, quail, water from a rock, etc.? As we come to Exodus 34, we see that they did. They forgot. All the miracles that God had done for them, quickly left their memories and they made a golden calf to worship instead.

We often think that the Old Testament stories are from a different era, a different time period, a different culture and have no relevance to today, but that is so far from the truth. These stories are very relevant to today. We may not worship a Golden Calf or make idols of Baal or other gods, but we can still be guilty of idolatry.

Often times, we think of current idols as “things.”  Things like a car, a boat, a house, a cottage on the lake, our phones, or some other inanimate object. Yet, if we dig deeper into these things, we will find that there is something else at the base of our desire for these things.

Last week, I wrote about “Think about what you are thinking about” and asked you to trace back the emotions you are having to your thoughts and then to trace those emotions back to what you are wanting.

I have written about our emotions and thoughts in a blog last year as well. Please follow this link to read more.

When we follow the trail, we will see what our idols are. Start with your emotions. Then ask yourself, “What is it that you are thinking?” This leads to our wants. Once we dig into what we want, it will lead us to our present day idols.

Emotions – Thinking – Wanting – Idols

No one really wants to go through this process. Who wants to be told that they have idols of the heart that they are worshipping? No one does, but do you ever feel like you are empty? Maybe you feel like you are in search of things that always seem out of your grasp. Striving for that sense of satisfaction or happiness that you never can attain. That is because you are seeking after an idol.

Here is a list of present day idols of the heart that many of us seek and search after:

  • Security
  • Affection/love
  • Attention
  • Satisfaction
  • Comfort/refuge/ease of life
  • Joy/happiness
  • Approval

Thinking back to what I wrote about last week – you don’t receive the recognition for an accomplishment that is truly yours to receive. What idol could we be seeking? Approval or Satisfaction

What about when your friends treat you poorly? Approval or Attention

What about when you have a “discussion” with someone and they don’t seem to care about your point of view? Love, approval.

What about when things seem too hard? Comfort, ease of life.

What about when a relationship seems too hard and yet you know that you have a responsibility to help that person see Christ? Comfort/ ease of life

God wants us to have no other gods before Him, because He knows that we will never find joy and happiness when we are worshipping these other idols.

God does not need us to worship Him. We need to worship Him.

God knows that the more we seek after the idols of our hearts, the emptier we will be. The more we seek after God and seek to worship Him and Him alone, the more joyful and fulfilled we will be.

Evaluate your emotions. What are they telling you? What are you thinking? What are you wanting? What idols of the heart are you worshipping?

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people. Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” (James 4:1-4)

(There is a great book and sermon series by Brad Bigney on this topic of Idols of the Heart called Gospel Treason. This link is to the first sermon in his series on this topic.)

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16
Dec
2020

Which is

Over the course of the last two years, I have been training to become a certified Biblical Counselor. During this training process, I have read many books, memorized Scripture, and been mentored by a wonderful and wise man and woman. During this process of training, the Biblical principle that has convicted me the most is that of idolatry. I have always thought of idolatry like the idols in the Old Testament. As mentioned in Exodus 20:4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or the likeness of anything that is in heaven above or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.” Today in America, I don’t think there are too many people that are carving images out of stone and bowing down and worshipping them or sacrificing to them. I always thought of idolatry in modern day America as worshipping your car, or money, or some other treasure that you valued highly.

I felt pretty good about myself because even though I really like my car and my house and even my bike, I didn’t worship them. I never bowed down to them. I didn’t sacrifice anything to them. I didn’t pray to them. I always knew in my heart that if I had to get rid of any of the things in my life that I might consider to be treasures, I knew that I could still be content without them. I wasn’t an idolater. I loved God more than I loved anything else, but then I started to understand idolatry in a whole new light in our modern day world. Then the conviction began to take place.

Colossians 3:5 says, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry.” Did you catch what this verse says is idolatry? Covetousness. Covetousness means to want what you do not have. Does this mean that if you are hungry and want a hamburger and you don’t have it in your home and you have to go to a restaurant to buy it, you are coveting? NO. What about if you want a hamburger for supper and your spouse who usually prepares all the meals serves chicken instead and you get angry with them for not having hamburgers, are you now coveting? Yes. What you want has caused you to sin.

So often we exhibit emotions that God would call sin and these emotions lead back to something that we want that we do not have. Our emotions that come out of us are a peephole into our thinking. We talked about the tie between our emotions and our thinking a few weeks ago. When the emotions of anger, bitterness, anxiety, worry, and woe is me, others would be better without me, perfectionism, control, etc. begin to show up in our lives, we must realize that there is thinking that is unbiblical and many times this unbiblical thinking has developed into an idol.

So when we start to exhibit emotions such as anger, worry or anxiety, bitterness, etc., we must examine our hearts and find out what it is that we want. I John 2:16 tells us “For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride of life – is not from the Father but is from the world.” So how could we put this verse into more concrete idols that we might have in our hearts that we have begun to hold dear to us? Here is a sample list.

    1. Security
    2. Affection/love
    3. Attention
    4. Satisfaction
    5. Comfort, refuge, ease of life
    6. Joy, happiness
    7. Approval

Have you ever wanted any of these things so much that you have sinned to try to get them? In America, we feel like we deserve life to be comfortable and easy. We are willing to sin in order to get that comfort and ease. How often do you feel inconvenienced when what you want your schedule to look like only to have it interrupted by a broken down car, or the kids interrupt our quiet time and we get angry at them for bothering us, or how much Covid has interrupted and inconvenienced our lives. So you may not be bowing down and worshipping your car, but you may be worshipping comfort and ease. Are you sinning in order to get what you want?

Take some time to think about what it is that you want. What emotions frequently exhibit themselves? How would others characterize you? Now what is it that you want that is causing those emotions? That is probably your idol.

Remember Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other gods before me.”

Let’s celebrate Christmas this year truly worshipping the Lord who came to earth for us, rather than trying to worship the idols in our lives that never bring true peace, hope, or joy.

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01
Jul
2020
And above all

And above all

 

I haven’t written a blog post in a while. So much is happening in our country and everyone has such a wide variety of opinions about all that is happening. Of course, I have my opinion too. I hope we all do. Most importantly, I hope that we are able to engage each other in a peaceful conversation whether we agree or not and try to understand the perspective of the other. As I watch the rioting and the looting and rhetoric that continues to plague our country, I keep thinking about two words – RESPECT and PEACE.

As a little girl, I grew up in a predominantly white community. We were very poor and were even on food stamps for a while so we could have food to eat. I just learned this week that my grandparents even paid our rent for six months. I remember how hard my dad worked and how much we struggled, but that did not negate any of the values that we were taught. Just because we were so poor, it did not mean I was ever allowed to be disrespectful to anyone. Just because we were poor did not mean that we were not taught the value of work. Just because we were poor did not mean that someone owed us anything. 

No one owed us anything. We had to work for it.

I was never taught that someone’s skin color meant anything other than they were different than me. The song I learned as a child keeps going through my head “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red, and yellow, black, and white; they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

I not only learned this as a child but I internalized it. Jesus loves all people and therefore so should I.

As parents, we have a responsibility to teach our children. God loves all people and so should we.

The part of all these demonstrations that is disturbing is the vandalism that is taking place. Our country has given us the freedom to protest. Our country is a country of the people, by the people, and for the people. We have the freedom to let our voices be heard. This is a wonderful freedom that we enjoy.

What has gone terribly wrong with these protests is the disrespect that has come from them. Disrespect does not breed respect. Two wrongs do not make a right. If someone wants to be respected, they must also show respect.

If we want to experience peace, we must pursue peace.

When I see protesters yelling at police men/women, I want to ask what they think they are accomplishing. When vandals run through stores looting and setting things on fire, does that make the shop owners want to stay in those areas?

The other thought that keeps running through my mind is a question that Jesus asked, “Whoever is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone…” (John 8:7).

None of us are perfect. We have all committed wrongs. There needs to be justice, and this needs to be balanced with grace. I don’t know where the balance is. Sometimes there needs to be more grace given and sometimes there needs to be more justice applied. The problem we are seeing today with the looting and the rioting is that the mobs are not seeking peace, rather they are taking justice into their own hands. When the people take justice into their own hands, there is no restrictions and no boundaries. It is chaos. When a police officer steps out of bounds and does the wrong thing, there is justice.

My heart grieves for all who have lost their lives during this time of turmoil. So many senseless deaths. I am saddened that George Floyd died and the means by which he died. Since his death more than five people have died, countless have been injured, and millions of dollars’ worth of property has been damaged.  Is this the answer to the problem? Do more wrongs make it right?

I grew up learning that hard work and respecting others was something to be valued. Are these no longer important values? I believe that we need to get back to what is important.

Respect.

Peace.

Life.

All life.

Love others and treat others as we want to be treated.

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” (Col. 3:14, 15).

 

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29
Jan
2020

Do you choose to believe the truth?

There are so many lies out there that we start to believe about ourselves. We have no value. We are not good at anything. We are not good enough. No one likes us. No one loves us. If I was happy then everything would be good. And the list could go on and on. Where do these thoughts come from?

We tend to be influenced by what we perceive the world thinks is valuable.

We should rather be feasting on the truth of what God’s word says about us.

While Jesus walked on this earth, the people that seemed to have value according to the world’s standards were the religious leaders and the wealthy. Yet, who did Jesus spend all of His time with? The tax collectors. The fishermen. The ill. The homeless.

After Jesus went back to heaven, who was it that God used to change the world with His Gospel?

The fishermen. A murderer. A tax collector.

What is the truth? God can take anyone and use them for His honor and glory and to proclaim His message which has more value than any message the world tries to get us to believe.

The question is who do you believe?

If God can take fishermen, a murderer, a tax collector, those that were ashamed of Him, and someone willing to deny Him, then what does that mean about you?

God saw these people as so valuable that Jesus came to earth to spend time with them. He came to earth to live with them and to teach them the truth.

What about the woman at the well? She was a Samaritan-that race of people that the Jews hated-Jesus spent time with this woman teaching her the truth. Not only was she a Samaritan, but she had been married multiple times. She obviously did not feel as if she had any value. If multiple men had rejected her as their wife, then she must have had no value. YET, Jesus spoke to her. The Son of God spoke to this woman who had been rejected by her multiple (5) husbands.  If anyone has any reason to believe they have no value, this woman did. YET, Jesus spoke to her. She did have value. (John 4)

God wants to speak to all of us through His Word. He wants all of us to know that we have value.

He loves us so much, He demonstrated His love for us. (Rom. 5:8).

We all have a choice. We daily choose whether we will believe the truth about who God says we are or the lies that the world and Satan try to get us to believe.

What will you choose?

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11
Dec
2019

Jesus paid the price. Will you believe what He says about you?

 

As we continue to look at our identity and who we are, we must look at a foundational principle. This foundation will not make us feel good about ourselves and there may be some who deny this fact about themselves, but it is true.

We are all sinners.

I know this fact does not make anyone feel better about themselves, but it is better to face the truth and know the truth rather than to live in a lie. So the truth is: we are all sinners. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Rom. 3:23).

Another important truth is that tere is a wage that must be paid for this sin.

When someone commits a crime, they must pay for it by going to trial and going to jail. So as sinners there is a payment that must be made. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Rom. 6:23).

The beauty of this verse is that there is a wage that must be paid, but Jesus paid that wage for us. “But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8). God loved the human race that He created so much, that He sent His Son to pay the penalty for our sin.

As I write this, I realize how much I take this for granted. I realize how much I don’t appreciate what God has done for me. Who am I to deserve what God has done for me? That is the amazing thing about God’s love for me…for us…we don’t deserve it.

Consider for a moment Osama bin Laden. He is a hardened terrorist who committed/coordinated many horrendous acts of murder around the world. What if rather than being killed in his compound, he was brought in to trial and found guilty of death or life in prison. At his sentencing of all these horrendous acts, someone stepped up and said that they would take his place. Who would do such a thing? He is one of the most notorious criminals of all time.

That is what Jesus did. He took my place.

Consider for a moment when Jesus was on the cross and the criminal next to Him asked, “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.” (Luke 23:42). Jesus answered him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43). As Jesus was dying, He was dying for this man’s sins. Jesus also was so selfless that he forgave this man at this moment. At the worst moment, Jesus was not thinking about Himself He was thinking about others. This is not the only example.

From the cross, Jesus made sure Mary was taken care of after His death as well. (John 19:25-27). As Jesus hung on the cross dying for our sins, He cared for the temporal and physical needs of His Mother.

Jesus loves each of us so much.

If Jesus loves us this much, we should want to get our identity from who Jesus says we are not who the world says we are. Yet, too often the world slowly and meticulously changes our thoughts and we begin to believe lies about ourselves rather than the truth about who God says we are.

Why do people believe these lies?

They don’t think they are good enough to be loved by God. The truth of the matter is none of us are good. We are all condemned and all deserve to die the worst death possible. We all deserve to be separated from God forever, but God sent His only Son into the world to redeem the world.

Our identity does not come from who or what the world says we are. Our identity comes from who God says we are.

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19
Jun
2019

Words for the Bride and Groom

On June 14, 2019, Danielle and Aaron were married. It was a beautiful and God honoring day. These are the words that I shared with them during the reception.

 

Family and Friends, thank-you so much for coming and making this day in the lives of Danielle and Aaron so special. You all have had a part in these two becoming the people that they are today. Thank-you for your part in their lives.

On November 30, 1991, Dave and I were married. After our good friend, Eric Mounts, pronounced us husband and wife, Dave and I walked out of the auditorium and into the foyer. At that moment, Dave started crying. I had never seen him cry before and I thought, “What’s wrong? Does he not want to be married?.” I have come to find out that Dave cries only at the big events in our lives, weddings, graduations, and I cry at all the little events in between.

Aaron and Danielle,

This has been a wonderful first day in your life together as husband and wife. Your marriage ceremony was God honoring and very worshipful, just as God meant for it to be as a symbol of our marriage as the church to Christ. Thank-you for leading us in worship during your beautiful wedding ceremony.

Aaron, we have been praying for you for 22 years. We didn’t know who God would send into Danielle’s life, but we knew the kind of young man we wanted God to send. We have been praying for a young man who loved God with his heart, his soul, his mind, and all his strength. We have been praying for a young man who would be a gentleman and a gentle leader for this special daughter of ours. We have been praying for someone who is kind, thankful, respectful, and thoughtful, a hard and dedicated worker who will provide for Danielle, and someone who follows Christ no matter the circumstances in life.

You, Aaron, are that answer to our prayers. Thank-you, Dan and Resa, for raising this wonderful young man. Aaron, we are so excited to welcome you into our family. Being the oldest like Danielle, you are also the guinea pig. Being in-laws is new for us, but we will happily practice on you. We may try to convert your allegiance, but if you remain an Ohio State fan we will still love you. We never want to take the place of your parents, but we would be honored if you would now call us “Dad and Mom.”

Danielle, what a treasure you are to our family. We have been preparing for this next chapter in your life for 22 years. I have tried to teach you how to cook, how to clean, how to work hard, how to care for your family, and most of all how to serve and love our Savior. I have not always done everything right, but it has been a joy to raise you and nurture you. Remember our first conversation about boys. We talked about how important it was to save your heart for that right young man. You were 12 when we had that conversation. My goal has been to model and teach to you how to be “virtuous woman who is far above rubies” taken from one of my favorite passages in Scripture, Proverbs 31. So we went and got your ears pierced and I gave you ruby earrings to help you remember how important that was. When you were 16, we went to the Dodge house and talked more about boys and what you should look for in a husband and made a list of the those qualities. We also talked about how important purity was. For about 8 weeks, we sat on the back veranda of the Dodge house and every time we sat there I reminded you that you were a princess and how valuable you were. We gave you a ruby ring to again remind you how important purity of heart and body is and also to once again remind you that “your value is far above rubies.”  It has been fun to look at your pink fuzzy notebook and see the list of qualities you wanted in your future husband. Aaron, you have all those qualities, even the blue eyes.

Just last week, Danielle, we had another conversation about being a virtuous woman and I gave you a ruby necklace. The next step is for you to not only be a virtuous woman but also a virtuous wife. “Your value is above rubies.”

Aaron and Danielle, as you start this next lifelong chapter in your lives, remember how much your family loves you. We are always here for you. Aaron, as you love Danielle like Christ loves the church she will be as Solomon says “a crown to her husband.”

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment