laughter

Joy and Sadness

“Even in laughter the heart may ache…”

Proverbs 14:13

This is the time when so many of us as parents have mixed emotions. I love that Scripture speaks to this. We are not crazy. It is normal. Many of us are sending our kids off to college (if they can attend in person) and we are happy for them, but sad for us. I am so excited for the next stages of life that all of our children are entering, but I am sad for the stage they are leaving behind. The blessing for me due to Covid-19 was that two of our daughters were home from college for five months rather than three months.

Every year since they started attending Cedarville University, I have taken a picture of them next to the door of their room. Now, we have two that have graduated and live in apartments. In a matter of two weeks all three of our daughters moved into new places. They are living in new places and entering new chapters of their lives. Isn’t it exciting to see what the next step is for them? Isn’t it exciting to see how our children embrace the new challenges that they face? Don’t you love the phone calls and the stories? I cherish all of these things.

When I look at what the converse of this would be, I am thankful for the growing pains. The converse is that they live in our basement and don’t become and do what God created them for. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works which God has prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Eph. 2:10). God did not create our kids to be holed up in our basement. He created them and made them for the good works He prepared beforehand for them to do. I certainly don’t want to be in God’s way for the good work that He is going to do through them.

So as hard as it is to watch our children fly and be independent, let’s rejoice in the positives. Let’s focus on being an encouragement to them. Send them letters. Send them packages. Be available when they call and be a listening ear. Sometimes, they don’t want advice. They just want someone to listen. So listen well. Follow up with a text. Remind them how much you love them. Remind them who they are in Christ. Remind them that their identity is found in Christ and not in who their friends say they are or who they feel they are. In all of these wonderful reminders, we will remind ourselves that even though they don’t need us to cook supper for them they still need us. They just need us in different ways and part of our new job is to figure out what these new ways are.

Remember, your job as Mom and Dad is just as essential, it’s just different. Go figure out your new place. Your kids will be glad you did, and you will enter new doors of life as well. You may not move, but the Lord also has new and great plans for you. As believers, we all are “His workmanship.”

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments

A New Chapter, Not an Emtpy Nest

Have you started a new chapter in your life, only it feels empty and without any words?  Are you staring at the refrigerator and wondering when it will be full again?  Are you listening for the car in the driveway, the close of the front door, and the laughter from the other room?  Do you miss those late night conversations, when all you want to do is sleep?  Join me on my journey as I walk this road I have never walked before. Let’s figure this out together.

Not that long, my husband Dave and I announced to the world that we were expecting our first baby.  At least to us it does not seem that long. Now 22 years later, we are about to watch her graduate from college and a month later get married. It doesn’t seem possible that I have raised this young lady from a tiny helpless infant into a strong young lady who is now ready to begin her own family.  Yet, I keep asking myself what did I expect?  We don’t have these sweet little ones so they can stay under our roof and be hermits for the duration of their lives.  Rather, we have them so they can enrich our lives and the lives of those they meet. Our 3 beautiful daughters have enriched our lives and the many that they meet.

Our youngest daughter joined her sisters at Cedarville University this year.  Yes, we have 3 in college this year.  It is nice they are at the same place. It is easy to visit them.  The difficult challenge for me has been that since I home schooled all 3 of them, my life has been these girls. Thus, a new chapter of my life has begun.

It has been an adjustment for me to not have anyone to take care of, and yet there have been times that I have enjoyed the change in responsibilities. It has been with mixed emotions, I got out of bed many days when they were first gone.  I scheduled lunches with friends every day for the first 2 weeks. I had not eaten lunch by myself in over 20 years. Dave was home for supper so that was nice. Then, I traveled with Dave for business to China for two weeks.

It seems to have been a whirlwind since then.  I have traveled to see the girls at Cedarville, celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. Traveled to see my parents in St. Martin then went on a cruise with Dave. I also picked up a job working as a home health care nurse. My year has been full. There has been spring break and another spring break to go. Easter break. Graduation. Everyone home for a month. The WEDDING.

This has been a full year, a good year, and a year of change

BUT, I am dreading next year. I planned so well for this year.  What will next year hold?

And at this point, God reminded me that this is where faith comes in.  God is so ready to write the pages of my life, to draw the pictures that my daughters will look at, so much of life to live what have I to fear?  What have I to dread?

Join me as I walk this new road, watch God write this new chapter, and live these years that I never dreamed about as a young girl.  What will be next?

For more information about me join me on my home page at http://www.dannadykema.com/

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Next Chapter, 0 comments