identity in Christ

Is the Fear of Man the Best Thing for You?

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” (Proverbs 29:25)

Last week, we looked at what a snare is. It is a trap that either ends very poorly or else it ends without us being able to move. We looked at two things that are in actuality the fear of man, but we like to label things that are sin in a way that makes it seem more palatable to us. We talked about peer pressure and over commitment last week.

This week we will talk about a few more things that we would consider to be “the fear of man.”

People Pleaser

  1. Being a people pleaser – This sounds pretty tolerable to us. We just want to make other people happy. What could be so wrong as to make someone else happy? After all, doesn’t the Bible say we are to serve others? So trying to please others has to be a good thing. How would it fall into the category of “fear of man?” Have you ever done something so that the other person doesn’t get angry at you? Done whatever was necessary so you didn’t get yelled at? I have. The problem is that the cycle never ends. Rather than serving the other person, I am helping them to serve their idolatrous lusts. We talked about this topic a few weeks ago. “When someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” (Gal. 6:1). Our duty before God is to serve others, but not to assist them in their sin. Being a people pleaser is similar to peer pressure.

We do something because we want to be accepted by the other person. We have in essence placed our value into the hands of the other person. We see ourselves as only having value if the other person or the “in” crowd gives us value. It is easy to see how this traps us and is also very exhausting. The “crowd” has an opinion that changes, so our value also changes. Not only is it a snare, but is also very unsettling. We also talked a while ago about our identity. If your identity is rooted in who God says you are rather than in what everyone else thinks, the fear of man will no longer be an issue.

Self-Esteem

  1. Self-esteem – How many of us have either said or thought, “I have low self-esteem?” Low self-esteem usually means that I think too highly of myself. I’m too self-involved, I feel I deserve better than what I have. That one really stings. In other words, we are getting our identity from what others are thinking of us. Since it seems that others do not think too highly of us, than we feel poorly about ourselves. Do you see how this is a snare, a trap, a hindrance in our life. Our focus moves off what our identity in Christ ought to be and on to what our identity is according to the world, our culture, the people we surround ourselves with, or even what we see on T.V. and social media.

Decision Making

  1. Decision making – Do you make your decision based on what others will think of you? Do you second guess decisions because of what others might think? Are you afraid of making mistakes that will make you look bad in other people’s eyes? This looks like the last two that we have looked at. You are probably getting an idea of what the fear of man is now.

So what are you going to do about this? What do we do when we find ourselves so wrapped in what others think and try to “unwrap” ourselves? Look at Christ. Fear God. What does God say about who you are? What is identity in Christ? Focus on this rather on what everyone else in the world is saying about you. Look at what you have to give to others, not what you are going to take from them.

Be who God made you to be and claim your identity in Christ. That will give you a confidence that you have been looking for that always seemed to be out of reach. You are who God says you are in Christ. Nothing more and nothing less.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments

Who Are You?

Have you ever heard someone say or even said yourself, “I don’t know who I am?” I know there was a time in my life when I said that. I assume there are many people that during this time of change due to the pandemic there are many people that have lost sight of who they are. Their jobs have changed, or they don’t have a job. They used to be out with people all the time and now they are home looking at the same four walls and computer screen. Zoom meetings and conference calls just are not the same. Granted many people are seeing their lives return to a new normal that involves more social contact, but it is still not what it was.

Too often we begin to look ourselves through the roles that we hold rather than the identity that we have been given. When we no longer function in the same capacity at our jobs and that role has changed, have you lost your identity? When the kids grow up and do not need you like they used to, have you lost who you perceived that you were? Did you gain your identity from your role?

Our roles change throughout life. Children grow up and become parents. Students grow up and become teachers. Employees become the employer. As we advance each day of our life, our roles are changing. However, these roles are not our identity.

Too often, these roles do become our identity, and when these roles are taken away from us or they change we begin to experience emotional upset. We experience a mid-life crises, depression, anxiety, fear, anger, etc. The parent whose children have grown up and are now on their own look at life as if it has no purpose. The employee that has worked for the same company for 30 years all of a sudden is let go due to budget cuts no longer knows who he is or what his purpose is.

These are all difficult situations that so many have found themselves in due to this pandemic. Lost jobs, change in jobs, change in work location, change in parenting, etc.  I do not at all want to discredit the challenges of each of these changes, but we must not look at these changes as a change in our identity. Our identity should never change.

Let me say that again. Our identity should never change no matter how much our roles change. So where do we get our identity? As a believer in Christ, I get my identity from what God’s Word says about me. These things that God says about me applies because I have put my faith and trust in Christ as my Savior. If someone does not believe in Christ as their Savior, these things that Paul has written about us in Ephesians would not apply.

Ephesians 1:4 “even as He chose us in Him…” You are chosen by God the Father. When you feel forsaken by man, never forget that God has chosen you.

Ephesians 1: 5  ”He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ”  You are a son/daughter of God. If you feel forsaken by your family, remember that God has chosen you to be His child.

Ephesians 1:7 “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.” You are redeemed and forgiven. We deserve hell and God has redeemed us and forgiven us. He sent Jesus to pay the price for our sins. A price that we could not pay.

So you are not the roles that you have. You are the identity that Christ has given to you. You are chosen, a child of the King, redeemed, and forgiven! Those things will never change. Hold onto and remember the identity that will never change rather than the role that can change on a dime.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments