identity

28
Oct
2020

Who Are You?

Have you ever heard someone say or even said yourself, “I don’t know who I am?” I know there was a time in my life when I said that. I assume there are many people that during this time of change due to the pandemic there are many people that have lost sight of who they are. Their jobs have changed, or they don’t have a job. They used to be out with people all the time and now they are home looking at the same four walls and computer screen. Zoom meetings and conference calls just are not the same. Granted many people are seeing their lives return to a new normal that involves more social contact, but it is still not what it was.

Too often we begin to look ourselves through the roles that we hold rather than the identity that we have been given. When we no longer function in the same capacity at our jobs and that role has changed, have you lost your identity? When the kids grow up and do not need you like they used to, have you lost who you perceived that you were? Did you gain your identity from your role?

Our roles change throughout life. Children grow up and become parents. Students grow up and become teachers. Employees become the employer. As we advance each day of our life, our roles are changing. However, these roles are not our identity.

Too often, these roles do become our identity, and when these roles are taken away from us or they change we begin to experience emotional upset. We experience a mid-life crises, depression, anxiety, fear, anger, etc. The parent whose children have grown up and are now on their own look at life as if it has no purpose. The employee that has worked for the same company for 30 years all of a sudden is let go due to budget cuts no longer knows who he is or what his purpose is.

These are all difficult situations that so many have found themselves in due to this pandemic. Lost jobs, change in jobs, change in work location, change in parenting, etc.  I do not at all want to discredit the challenges of each of these changes, but we must not look at these changes as a change in our identity. Our identity should never change.

Let me say that again. Our identity should never change no matter how much our roles change. So where do we get our identity? As a believer in Christ, I get my identity from what God’s Word says about me. These things that God says about me applies because I have put my faith and trust in Christ as my Savior. If someone does not believe in Christ as their Savior, these things that Paul has written about us in Ephesians would not apply.

Ephesians 1:4 “even as He chose us in Him…” You are chosen by God the Father. When you feel forsaken by man, never forget that God has chosen you.

Ephesians 1: 5  ”He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ”  You are a son/daughter of God. If you feel forsaken by your family, remember that God has chosen you to be His child.

Ephesians 1:7 “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.” You are redeemed and forgiven. We deserve hell and God has redeemed us and forgiven us. He sent Jesus to pay the price for our sins. A price that we could not pay.

So you are not the roles that you have. You are the identity that Christ has given to you. You are chosen, a child of the King, redeemed, and forgiven! Those things will never change. Hold onto and remember the identity that will never change rather than the role that can change on a dime.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
29
Jan
2020

Do you choose to believe the truth?

There are so many lies out there that we start to believe about ourselves. We have no value. We are not good at anything. We are not good enough. No one likes us. No one loves us. If I was happy then everything would be good. And the list could go on and on. Where do these thoughts come from?

We tend to be influenced by what we perceive the world thinks is valuable.

We should rather be feasting on the truth of what God’s word says about us.

While Jesus walked on this earth, the people that seemed to have value according to the world’s standards were the religious leaders and the wealthy. Yet, who did Jesus spend all of His time with? The tax collectors. The fishermen. The ill. The homeless.

After Jesus went back to heaven, who was it that God used to change the world with His Gospel?

The fishermen. A murderer. A tax collector.

What is the truth? God can take anyone and use them for His honor and glory and to proclaim His message which has more value than any message the world tries to get us to believe.

The question is who do you believe?

If God can take fishermen, a murderer, a tax collector, those that were ashamed of Him, and someone willing to deny Him, then what does that mean about you?

God saw these people as so valuable that Jesus came to earth to spend time with them. He came to earth to live with them and to teach them the truth.

What about the woman at the well? She was a Samaritan-that race of people that the Jews hated-Jesus spent time with this woman teaching her the truth. Not only was she a Samaritan, but she had been married multiple times. She obviously did not feel as if she had any value. If multiple men had rejected her as their wife, then she must have had no value. YET, Jesus spoke to her. The Son of God spoke to this woman who had been rejected by her multiple (5) husbands.  If anyone has any reason to believe they have no value, this woman did. YET, Jesus spoke to her. She did have value. (John 4)

God wants to speak to all of us through His Word. He wants all of us to know that we have value.

He loves us so much, He demonstrated His love for us. (Rom. 5:8).

We all have a choice. We daily choose whether we will believe the truth about who God says we are or the lies that the world and Satan try to get us to believe.

What will you choose?

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11
Dec
2019

Jesus paid the price. Will you believe what He says about you?

 

As we continue to look at our identity and who we are, we must look at a foundational principle. This foundation will not make us feel good about ourselves and there may be some who deny this fact about themselves, but it is true.

We are all sinners.

I know this fact does not make anyone feel better about themselves, but it is better to face the truth and know the truth rather than to live in a lie. So the truth is: we are all sinners. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Rom. 3:23).

Another important truth is that tere is a wage that must be paid for this sin.

When someone commits a crime, they must pay for it by going to trial and going to jail. So as sinners there is a payment that must be made. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Rom. 6:23).

The beauty of this verse is that there is a wage that must be paid, but Jesus paid that wage for us. “But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8). God loved the human race that He created so much, that He sent His Son to pay the penalty for our sin.

As I write this, I realize how much I take this for granted. I realize how much I don’t appreciate what God has done for me. Who am I to deserve what God has done for me? That is the amazing thing about God’s love for me…for us…we don’t deserve it.

Consider for a moment Osama bin Laden. He is a hardened terrorist who committed/coordinated many horrendous acts of murder around the world. What if rather than being killed in his compound, he was brought in to trial and found guilty of death or life in prison. At his sentencing of all these horrendous acts, someone stepped up and said that they would take his place. Who would do such a thing? He is one of the most notorious criminals of all time.

That is what Jesus did. He took my place.

Consider for a moment when Jesus was on the cross and the criminal next to Him asked, “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.” (Luke 23:42). Jesus answered him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43). As Jesus was dying, He was dying for this man’s sins. Jesus also was so selfless that he forgave this man at this moment. At the worst moment, Jesus was not thinking about Himself He was thinking about others. This is not the only example.

From the cross, Jesus made sure Mary was taken care of after His death as well. (John 19:25-27). As Jesus hung on the cross dying for our sins, He cared for the temporal and physical needs of His Mother.

Jesus loves each of us so much.

If Jesus loves us this much, we should want to get our identity from who Jesus says we are not who the world says we are. Yet, too often the world slowly and meticulously changes our thoughts and we begin to believe lies about ourselves rather than the truth about who God says we are.

Why do people believe these lies?

They don’t think they are good enough to be loved by God. The truth of the matter is none of us are good. We are all condemned and all deserve to die the worst death possible. We all deserve to be separated from God forever, but God sent His only Son into the world to redeem the world.

Our identity does not come from who or what the world says we are. Our identity comes from who God says we are.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
04
Dec
2019

It’s Not About What Others Say

I was in Sam’s renewing my membership and the cashier asked me for my identification. I handed her my driver’s license and that was what she needed to see that I was who I said I was. When we go to the airport and are screened by the TSA agent before going through the x-ray machine, they require our Identification and our boarding pass. They look at the picture on the id and they look at the individual to make sure they look the same. When I was at Sam’s or when any of us are at the airport, no one that is checking our identification looks to the person standing next to us to see if they corroborate with who we are. They also don’t look at who we are standing with to see if we are who we say we are. The TSA agent passes us on because our identification matches who we look like.

In life, though, how many of us get our identification from the wrong thing? We want a certain person or group of people to like us, because they are the cool kids, so we change our identity to match what they will like. We want those cool kids to see us as cool so we will be accepted and liked. We look at them as the TSA agents and want them to pass us through into coolness so we change our identities into something more hip and cool. It’s not who we really are, but we are hoping no one will notice and maybe as time goes by and our fake identity may become our new real identity.

Have you ever tried to be fake? First of all, it’s exhausting, and second of all someone is going to see through the fake to the real and then you’re in worse shape than you were before.

In this age of confusion over our identities, where do we look to gain who we are supposed to be? How do we not get confused or lost or even disillusioned? The real question is what is the source of our truth?

Our days in school as an elementary, Jr. High, High School, and college student so often impact our self- image or our identity. We get made fun of for our hair or our clothes or that idiosyncrasy we have. We get called stupid or goody too shoes or ugly. So many kids in school are poor and can barely afford clothes to wear to school so other kids make fun of them for this. So often as a young child our identity is stamped into our hearts and minds by all the circumstances of life.

Too often, the unkindness of others molds us into who we think we are. Rather than looking at our identification for who we really are, we look around at who everyone else says we are. The hurtful remarks of others damage our hearts and some have never recovered. They will forever see themselves as ugly or weird or stupid, and they will forever be trying to change that image of themselves.

Here is a truth that we all need to cling to and live by: God made each and every one of us unique and different. I used to tell our daughters all the time, “if you were all the same, I wouldn’t need 2 of you-we have 3 daughters.” God made us all different and unique for a reason.

If we are putting a puzzle together and every piece is cut the same with the same part of the picture on it, how well would the puzzle go together? If we were all fingers, who would pump the blood to us so we could get the oxygen we need.

The Bible is the only source of truth. So many other things change, but the Bible does not change. Who we are needs to be based on who God says we are, not on who everyone in the world says we are. The world and its opinions change, but God never changes. (Heb. 13:8). Look at clothing styles, hair styles, car styles, home décor…it all changes to what is the latest style.

God never changes! What He says about who you are will never change as long as you are His child.

When we board the plane, we feel safe that only those people on the plane are the ones who should be on the plane. There is also a feeling of safety and security when we see ourselves through the lens of Scripture and who God says we are.

You are who God says you are!

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
20
Nov
2019

The Truth about Our Identity

There seems to be quite a bit of confusion these days on an individual’s identity. According to Merriam Webster, identity is “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.” We could call this a vague and even secular definition to our identity.

As a Christian, our identity must be viewed differently. According to Sam Allberry, “As a Christian, one of the key things for me is realizing that identity as Christians is not something that we discover in ourselves, nor is it something we create. It’s something we receive and are given by the only person who can know our actual identity, which is the God who made us. So my identity as a Christian comes from the fact that I’ve been created by God and redeemed by him through the saving work of Jesus.”

If only we could get this message out to the world and they would understand it and apply it to themselves. Too often people are searching for who they are. They are looking inside themselves to figure out who they are. This thinking is skewed by our sinful nature for who we are is not determined by what is inside of us, but by what God says about who we are.

It is so easy to be swayed by our feelings. They can be rascally creatures. They change and sometimes are not based on reason, but rather on misconstrued “facts.” The Bible speaks to this in Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, who can know it?” Our hearts can so easily deceive us, and with deception comes an instability. The antonym or opposite of deceit is truth or honesty.

If our hearts are full of untruth or deceit, than we must have something that we can turn to that is full of truth. That is God and His Word. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Heb. 13:8). In other words, Jesus never changes. While Jesus was on the earth, He said “sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (John 17:17). As Christians, we are set apart by truth, and the best place actually the only place to find truth is in the Bible.

When an individual looks to themselves to find truth, they will get deceit. When an individual looks to God’s Word for truth, they will get truth.

Our world seems to be spiraling out of control in regards to our identity as humans and where this identity comes from. This stems from a lack of knowledge and confusion on where their identity comes from. It also comes from a disregard for God and His Word.

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (I Cor. 14:33). Since God does not author confusion, we know that this comes from the enemy. When a person is confused about who they are, it is the work of the enemy, Satan, not the work of God.

As parents, it is extremely important to give our children and any other children we may be working with a firm foundation of who they are according to God and His Word. We will explore these topics in future blogs. It is important to establish a basis of truth with our children. The enemy will attack them. He will seek to destroy them in whatever way possible. It always starts very small and in a very insignificant way, so as parents we must be on guard to protect our children and their hearts.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
13
Nov
2019

Image Bearers

As a parent, it seems that there were and still are times that the weight of being a parent and all of its responsibilities are very heavy. At times, the breadth of all our daughters needed to learn seemed almost overwhelming and there did not seem to be enough time with them under our roof for me to teach them all they needed to learn. I don’t know if there is any parent that ever feels like they taught their children everything they could have. There are so many ways that we can teach them, but it is most usually through our words and our actions that we teach them the most.

More is caught than taught

This phrase has been around for a long time, and is so true when we watch other people’s children. I have seen insecure moms produce insecure children. When we listen to how the mom talks, and then we listen to how the children talk-it sounds the same.  The mom who is always putting herself down produces a child that is always putting herself down. The same could be said for the dad who always talks about cars and sports. What is talked about by the parents is often what the children spend a lot of their time talking about. What the parents value, the children also value.

It is important as a parent to help our children have a proper view of themselves. Who they are? Where do they get their identity? How should this identity affect who they are and how should this affect their lives?

The Image of God

It is important to start out by understanding and teaching our children that we are all made in the image of God.

“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him,                            male and female He created them” (Gen. 1:27).

In order to teach them about being made in the image of God, we must first teach them about who God is. We see God in Genesis 1 as creative. God created the world out of nothing. Every molecule that ever was and is was created by God. The intricacies of the planets, the stars, and the sun all shout the creativity of God. The cycle of weather, the change of seasons, and gravity all point to the creativity and the matchless intellect of our God. The workings of human bodies have not yet been fully grasped by our human intellect and yet God made all of this out of nothing. There was nothing to model His creation after, He created it out of nothing. (ex nihilo).

But God did have a model for mankind, and that was Himself. God made mankind in “His image.” Since God is creative, we as human beings are also creative. A dog cannot paint a picture as magnificently as Leonardo da Vinci. Nor can a monkey understand how electricity works and make the light bulb like Thomas Edison. Mankind is creative and intellectual. We can learn. We can love. We can reason.

We get these magnificent qualities because we are made in the image of God.

Who are we?

As parents it is important that we appreciate who we are: made in God’s image. We are made with creativity, language, intellect, reason, ability to love, and the ability to learn. As parents, we must teach our children the value of being made in God’s image. Not only must we appreciate this value, we must understand that with this value of being God’s image bearers, we have an unmistakable identity.

Our Identity

Oftentimes on Facebook, my oldest daughter gets mistakenly tagged as me. When she has done a fun activity with her friends and they post pictures, Facebook will inadvertently tag me in the photo rather than her. There must be enough similarities in our face structure for Facebook to think that I am her. She has also been asked, “Are you Danna’s daughter?” by someone she does not know. We look that much alike.

So it is with us as humans. We are made in the image of God. No matter how many people want to claim to be atheist or believe that God has nothing to do with their lives, they cannot get away from the fact that they are made in the image of God and His image is stamped all over them.

Do we embrace this identity of being image bearers of our God? Do we take pride in being image bearers? Do our children value this fact and understand the impact it needs to make on their lives? Do we as parents value this fact and understand the impact it needs to make on our lives?

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments