fool

27
Mar
2024

Who Will win in Round 11?

“Answer not a fool according to his folly,

Lest you be like him yourself.

Answer a fool according to his folly,

Lest he be wise in his own eyes.”

Proverbs 26:4, 5

 

Sometimes conversation with others can be frustrating. Have you had those conversations? Your point of view and the other person’s point of view are opposite. It is important to you to come to a resolution with the other person, and yet that resolution seems like a farfetched dream. Your ideas are so opposed to each other.

It is important in these situations to be evaluating what you are saying against the truth of Scripture. These conversations can be about various things. In a marriage it could be about what car to buy. In a friendship it could be where to meet for supper. In a church it could be what color to paint a classroom. These do not seem like difficult conversations, nor do these decisions seem to go with our verse and yet if we look at these situations more closely they do.

Every relationship has challenges and difficulties. We must decide to approach every relationship and every conversation with humility, grace, and truth. If we come into each relationship with pride, we will think the only one with the right opinion is yourself. We will not be open to the opinions of others. If we are listening to the opinions of others and they are contradictory to the truth especially the truth from God’s Word, then we must not answer “the fool according to his folly.” (Prov. 26:4).

  1. Answer not a fool according to his folly

When a conversation becomes a sword fight, we are answering the fool according to his folly. We are trying to get the win in the verbal battle rather than be on the lookout as to how you can help the other person grow in faith in Christ or come to know the Lord as their personal Savior. If a person is not willing to listen to what you have to say when you are speaking in love and gentleness and only wants to have their own way, we must be willing to let the conversation die and “leave the presence of the fool.” (Prov. 14:7).

  1. Lest you be like him yourself.

We become like the fool when we willingly enter into the verbal sparring match because we are so determined to make sure the other person knows how wrong they are and how right we are. If we are so determined to make sure the other person knows how right we are so we enter the verbal “boxing ring” and are willing to go 11 rounds just so we can be determined the verbal winner, we have “become like the fool.”

  1. Answer a fool according to his folly

This is like the “tit for tat.” If you hit me, I’ll hit you back. This is revenge with words. If you said unkind things to me, I will say them back. When we say words that would only come from a fool, then we would also be considered a fool. When we get caught in a verbal sparring match with another and the words or tone of voice that come from our mouth sound no different than the words or tone of voice that are coming from the fool, what would that make us?

  1. Lest he be wise in his own eyes

The fool that is listening to you utter the same words that he is using will think to himself that he is the wise one. He is listening to his own press and thinking how wise he is. “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”  (Prov. 17:28). We so often think that we must return word for word in what we consider to be wise words to the other person’s foolish words. Rather, we must keep a guard on our mouths and refuse to enter into the sparring match that the other person so urgently wants to begin.

We must be so concerned about the soul of the other person that we need to not be worried about defending our honor or making sure that our point is heard. What matters is understanding and seeking to help the other person become more like Christ. Sometimes, our honor may be tarnished, but God who knows all is the One that will help to make things right. What we must be concerned about above all is representing Christ well. Sometimes, we must let Christ be the One who makes things right, and we must keep our mouths closed so that He can be the One to do that.

 

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
20
Sep
2023

Wisdom brings Success

Proverbs 15:5 “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent”

Proverbs 15:10 “There is severe discipline for him who forsakes the way; whoever hates reproof will die.”

Proverbs 15:12 “A scoffer does not like to be reproved; he will not go to the wise.”

Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Proverbs 15:31 “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.”

Proverbs 15:32 “Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.”

Proverbs 15:33 “The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.”

 

Proverbs 15 has six verses that focus on the importance and the value in listening to those that are wise. There is much to be gained from those that are willing to not just listen but to also seek out those who are wise.

Before we delve into the negative aspects of those that do not want to listen. Let’s look at the positive parts of these verses and understand what makes someone wise. Why is it that anyone should listen to someone else?

Proverbs 15:33 gives us some clues into what makes a person worth listening to.

First, the wise person fears the Lord. This fear of the Lord does not mean that the person is afraid of God, rather this person respects God. This person knows that the best answers to any of life’s problems, issues, or trials will be found in the Lord. They also recognize the sovereignty of God knowing that whatever happens in life they do not blame God for it but rather thank God that nothing is out of His control and trusting that whatever happens in life God has a plan and will use the events to help us to grow.

Another aspect of fearing the Lord is worshipping God alone. We live in a culture that does not want to worship God but rather worship any number of other things or people. Too often the things that we worship are not as easy to recognize or get rid of as the idols that are written about in the Old Testament. In the Old Testament, the people would trust in a statue to bring them rain, peace, prosperity, children, etc. When they decided to trust in God for these things rather than an idol/a statue they would smash the idols. Today, we do not set up a statue and look to it to bring us peace, hope, happiness, satisfaction, approval/attention, comfort/ease of life, security, or love. Rather, we look at any number of things or people to bring us these things. When we do not get what we want to provide us what we think we deserve we begin to experience fear, anxiety, depression, anger, or panic. We try to control all the situations that we can so that our felt needs are met. We have set up these things: peace, hope, happiness, satisfaction, approval/attention, comfort/ease of life, security, or love, as the idols in our lives. Only, they are not as easily torn down and smashed into pieces as the idols of the Old Testament.

When we worship these idols, we cannot fear the Lord. The wise seek to first and foremost worship God alone.

Second, the wise person is humble. This wise person understands that in order to fear God they must be humble. They must be willing to admit that God and His Word has all the answers in life. The humble person realizes that the only true satisfaction, peace, hope, joy, or love will come from God.

Third, because the wise person is humble, they will receive honor. A proud person demands others to honor them so they seek to control all situations so that they can be honored. A humble person never demands honor, but receives honor because of their humility. They have a gentle and quiet spirit and a soft inner strength that is honorable. This softness and gentleness never demands to be respected and honored, but they are easy to respect and honor because their gentleness is what makes them great.

The converse of the wise person is the foolish scoffer. The foolish scoffer does not fear the Lord. The foolish scoffer looks to their idols to have their needs met. They want to control all situations in life so that their needs can be met. The more they can control the situation or the other people in their lives the better chance they have at getting their felt needs met.

The foolish scoffer cannot fear God and trust God because then they would not be in control, but would have to choose to submit to God’s control and God’s sovereignty. Looking to the Bible for direction in life and seeking the wisdom of those that are wiser such as parents, those in authority, Pastors, etc.; would cause the foolish scoffer to admit that they cannot control all situations in life. To admit this would mean that they would have to humble themselves. They would have to surrender their pride and their control.

The foolish scoffer does not receive honor because they are due honor, but because they demand honor. However, this honor is not given willingly, but is rather forced from others. We see this in a domineering father or husband. He demands that situations go according to his plans, and when they do not, they get angry and yell. Lest we think it is only men that are like this, we women will attempt to control situations also by yelling or by crying and sobbing.

So the question is where do we fall? Are we wise and fear the Lord or are we foolish scoffers that close our ears in foolish pride because the only right way is our way?

Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

With many advisers our plans will succeed. Do we only seek the advice of those that will tell us what we want to hear, or are we willing to seek the advice of those that may give us a different opinion?

Proverbs is replete with instruction for children to listen to their parents. I know that this is not always the best as there are many parents that also do not seek out wise counsel and the way they live their life demonstrates a lack of fearing the Lord. However, there are many wise parents out there. Many parents who are seeking to make wise choices in how they raise their children and how they interact with their children. These parents willingly admit their mistakes and try to live a life that glorifies the Lord. Our parents should be part of our “advisory council.”

If you do not know if you are the wise or the foolish person, look at your life and ask those that are closest to you. Do you seek to control all situations, knocking over whoever may be in your way of you getting what you want? Are you willing to listen to those that are wise, humble, and honored?

Psalm 18:35 “…Your gentleness made me great.” Those that are wise will exemplify our Lord and be gentle in their speech and in their actions. In their gentle way of living life, they do not seek  to live life for their own pleasure but seek to glorify God and serve others.

The converse of this is Proverbs 15:12 “A scoffer does not like to be reproved; he will not go to the wise.” They live and speak harshly seeking to have others serve them. They are seeking to glorify themselves.

Are you wise or a foolish scoffer? The evidence is in your life.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
09
Aug
2023

Simple or Prudent? Wise or Foolish?

The simple believes everything,

But the prudent gives thought to his steps.

One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil,

But a fool is reckless and careless.”

Proverbs 14:15, 16

We all have many choices and decisions that we make throughout our days. Many of these decisions that we make are made without much conscious thought. The choices that we make daily without conscious thought have become habits in our lives. There are many books written on developing good habits, but the basis of many of our choices are based on habit. My husband gets up for work at the same time every day, walks on the treadmill, takes a shower, has a glass of OJ, and heads to work. He no longer gives a lot of thought to these activities because they have become habits in his life.

We all know the people that have habits that we would consider reckless and careless: poor diet choices, poor entertainment choices, no exercise choice, poor relationship choices, etc.

Our verses from Proverbs today start and end with the simple and the fool. The simple person is someone who is gullible. They are easily led astray usually by their desires. They think that if the desires of their heart are met they will find peace, satisfaction, and happiness. They hope that the infomercial about the next great weight loss pill will solve all of their weight struggles. They believe anything that anyone tells them and think that what they are told will meet all their needs.

This simple, gullible person is easily led astray. They are taken advantage of often and those that are manipulators love this simple gullible person. The manipulator will have a follower in the simple. The simple will have someone who they think “cares” for them. Only too often, the manipulator is taking advantage of the simple.

In order to not be simple and not be gullible, we must seek to surround ourselves with those that are prudent and wise. We must consider the end result of the decision we are deciding to make. Will this thing that I buy actually give the promised results? If I eat this extra scoop of ice cream, am I making a healthy wise choice? If I spend time watching TV, playing this video game, or scrolling through social media am I using my time wisely when there are many chores that need to be done?

The prudent and the wise person thinks before acting and decides if the choice they are making will produce God honoring results or results that are fleeting. So many people are seeking happiness, satisfaction, and having their needs met only to find out that the temporal things they are seeking to satisfy these needs will never give to them what they had hoped. The wise and prudent person sees and understands this. The wise and prudent person understands that God and a relationship with Jesus is the only thing that will satisfy. The wise and prudent person understands that the Bible is the manual for how to live life, not their fleeting desires.

The fool is reckless and careless because they think that the fleeting desires they have will be satisfied by temporal things. Look at the lives of the rich and the famous. They seem to have all that the world has to offer – fame, fortune, and power – yet they are usually looking for more. Drugs, alcohol, illicit relationships, and possessions are what they keep turning to thinking that what is around the corner will satisfy. Yet, it never does.

Spend some time evaluating your life. What are your habits? Are you spending time in God’s Word each day seeking to live according to God’s standard for joy? Or are you known to frequent some external pleasure to provide the satisfaction you are looking for, only to be let down one more time because “it” did not satisfy?

Are you simple or prudent? Wise or foolish?

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
07
Jun
2023

Secure or Crooked?

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,

But he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.

Proverbs 10:9

Have you heard the saying, “A man is only as good as his word?” In other words, what a man says must be backed up by his actions. When a man tells a woman that he loves her, she expects to see it backed up in his actions. If he does not pay attention to her, show her kindness, honor, and respect, then we would wonder if he truly loved her. When a woman says she loves her children, but fails to provide for their basic needs we would wonder about the sincerity of her words. She never hugs them, encourages them, or spends time with them, we would wonder about her love for them.

Our verse in Proverbs talks about walking. This does not mean the activity of walking, though that is a good activity. The word walk actually means how we live. If we live with integrity, we will be secure in our lives. This security is not when you are locked safely inside your house or car, or riding in the Presidents bullet proof Limo with secret service all around you.  The security this is talking about is the security of your reputation. When you say something, everyone around you knows that what you say has happened or will happen. When we live our lives truthfully and honestly, we are walking on ground that is firm. It is secure.

Integrity means being honest and having high moral principles no matter where a person is or who they are with. A person with integrity provides a steadiness and a secureness to the relationship. The trust in the relationship is never broken since they never give anyone a reason to doubt them. They are dependable and without any doubt, and when you are in a relationship with this person you know you can count on them. Any relationship with the person that has impeccable integrity provides a security to the relationship that is unwavering.

This is the kind of love and relationship we have with our God if we are a follower of Jesus. His love and care for us is unshakeable. No matter what we do, God will always love us. He loved us first (I John 4:19) and will never stop loving us. (Rom. 8:35).

I am reminded of the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). Even though the son turned his back on his dad, the son knew the integrity of his father and knew that even though he had treated his father poorly their relationship was secure.

Our reputation goes before us and behind us. People know what kind of a person you are by your reputation. One who walks in a way that demonstrates honest and wholesome character with a high degree of morality, is one who provides a security and a dependability of relationship.

The converse of this person is the one whose way is crooked. In other words, this person lies and is always seeking to cover their tracks. This person is the flagrant opposite of the person with a high moral and wholesome character. Having a relationship with this person is like walking on quick sand or in a completely dark forest. There is no security or safety. You are never quite sure what to expect and the relationship always leaves you with a feeling of being unsettled. We have seen this happen multiple times (actually multiple multiplied by multiple times) on the news to politicians, actors/actresses, or others. It seems that these people are always living life with one eye forward and one eye watching their back always wondering when the truth will actually surface. They tell lies to cover up the last lies. Then they don’t remember what the lie was that they told. “Be sure your sins will find you out.” (Num. 32:23). It seems that these people would learn that a thing can never be covered up. The truth will always be found out, yet the deceivers are themselves so deceived they think that they will be the one to pull the wool over someone’s eyes.

The crooked ways are always found out and the truth is always revealed.

When my girls were young, they would always get in more trouble for lying. I wanted them to understand how significant this was in their lives. A genuine relationship cannot be had with a crooked person. These relationships always leave us in turmoil and confusion. We are never sure which way is up. A relationship with this person is filled with uncertainty and uneasiness.

It is important to evaluate the relationships we are in. if you find yourself with a person of honest character with a high regard for the truth. Your relationship with that person is secure. If you find yourself in a relationship with a person that leaves you feeling uneasy and in turmoil, “leave the presence of a fool.” (Prov. 14:7). If you are married to such a person that leaves you uneasy or in turmoil, seek Biblical counsel. You need help and so does the person you are married to.

We can choose who we want to be… a person with honest integrity or the fool that leads us down a crooked path.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment
05
Apr
2023

Confusion or Clarity

There are various methods for Bible study. As I have been writing this blog on the book of Proverbs, I have been making columns of the positives and negatives that are in each chapter. It certainly has helped me to organize the main concepts and ideas in each chapter. Proverbs calls these positives and negatives the way of the wise and the way of the fool. How many of us want someone to call us a fool? Wise? There are many different characteristics that define those that are wise or foolish. While we are on this side of heaven there will daily be things in our lives that would be characterized as foolish. The goal that God has for us is that with each day we live more wisely and continue to put off the foolish ways of our old self. (Eph. 4: 22-24).

As we enter Proverbs 5, we see wisdom contrasted with foolishness. Both wisdom and foolishness are referred to often as “she.” Proverbs 5 has four main characters. The father is speaking again to his son. We have seen this in the last four chapters. He is telling his son that he needs to be aware of the “forbidden woman” and be satisfied with the love of his wife.

Just because the father is speaking to his son, does not mean that there are only principles for young men in this Proverbs. There are principles in this Proverb for all.

Solomon says again that his son needs to listen, be attentive, incline his ear, and not depart from the wise words he was sharing with his son.  How many times have we as parents told our kids the same thing only in different ways?

I homeschooled my kids. I remember teaching a concept to one of our daughters. I explained the concept to her a number of different ways. Finally, the last way she understood it and said, “Why didn’t you explain it to me this way in the first place?” We all have different learning styles. We explain things how we understand them best first. That is what I did in this particular situation, but that was not the best way for her learn.

God has been using the pen of Solomon to tell us the same thing in different ways over and over again, and will continue to do so throughout the entire book of Proverbs. Why? We all learn different ways, and need things explained in different ways.

We understand the wisdom that Solomon was trying to impart on his son and also consequently on us. He keeps reminding him to listen. Do we listen to those that are wise?

The negatives in this chapter are the description of the forbidden woman, but no one is saying that only women are evil and men are perfect. Since Solomon was speaking to his son in this book, he would be warning him about the forbidden woman. If he was speaking to his daughter, he would have warned her about the forbidden man.

Let’s look at these qualities of the foolish person. They are deceptive (Prov. 5:3), leave us with a feeling of uneasiness (5:4), lead to a bad/deadly outcome (5:5), no thought to the consequences of their actions (5:6), no direction or goals (5:6), and self-deceived (5:6).

What happens to us when we do not listen and allow our lives to become entangled with a foolish person? We will lose our reputation and our integrity (5:9). The foolish are deceivers and manage to swindle others. God has called us to be good stewards of what He has given to us, but when we seek to satisfy our selfish desires the satisfaction we are seeking through these selfish desires never satisfies.

What is the conclusion of this chapter that compares and contrasts the wise and the foolish person? Proverbs 5:12-14 tell us what the foolish person looks like so then the converse of this would be the characteristics of a wise person.

“And you say, ‘How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers, or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.’” (Prov. 5:1-14)

The wise person listens to those that are wise, searches God’s Word for the principles necessary to live a life of wisdom, and surrounds themselves with people that are wise. Do you run to God first when seeking to make a decision? Do you seek the counsel of those that are wise when making a decision? Do the people that you surround yourself with have godly goals?

The foolish person will leave us with a feeling of uneasiness or confusion. They will deceive you into helping them fulfill their desires, but have no care for what your desires are. They are seeking for others to meet their needs.

“For a man’s/woman’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.” (Prov. 5:21)

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
08
Mar
2023

Principles

Have you had a conversation with someone, and you did not see to eye on the situation? It could be a situation with a family member, friend, co-worker, or a boss. What about a decision you needed to make and there were multiple options to choose from, maybe there were only two options to choose from?

Life is about circumstances and choices. We are constantly inundated with circumstances and choices.

As we continue to look at Proverbs, we continue to see throughout the book that making wise choices and responding wisely in the midst of each circumstance will bring us blessings and peace. Wisdom is essentially living according to godly ways and godly principles. We have two choices in how to live life: wisely or foolishly.

How many times have we struggled to make a decision or struggled in how to respond in the midst of a circumstance? If we are seeking to follow God’s principles, our first step is to follow James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

What has God given us to help us in respond wisely in all circumstances and make godly choices? The first thing we must follow is His Word. Does God’s Word give us the answer to our question? It may not specifically tell us what job to take, what church to attend, what person to marry, who to become friends with, or where to go on vacation; but it gives us very direct principles to answer these questions.

II Peter 1:3 “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.”

How do we know how to live a “life of godliness?”  “Through the knowledge of Him who called us” (II Peter 1:3.

Do you seek God’s Word and seek to find principles that pertain to your decision or circumstance or do you seek the option that you think in the moment will make you happy?

We are in the second half of Proverbs 3, and in it there are three principles that will help us to life a life of godliness.

  1. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. (Prov. 3:27)

The verses that follow (Prov. 3:28-32) tell us not to turn someone away when you can be of assistance, do not plan to do evil against another, do not strive with someone for no reason, do not envy another, and do not be devious.

How often do we treat others through the lens of our own selfishness? We want something and we want the other person to provide it for us. We want something and someone else is getting in the way of what we want. We treat others selfishly rather than “treat others as you want to be treated.” (Mt. 7:12)

  1. To the humble he gives favor (Proverbs 3: 34)

C.S. Lewis said that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. When we are humble, we realize our own inadequacies and weaknesses. We realize that someone may be better able to accomplish the task. Humility is allowing someone else to get the praise for something and not trying to steal the recognition from them. Humility is realizing that you don’t always have the answers and need to seek wise counsel.  Three times in Proverbs 3 Solomon says “my son,”  reminding the reader that often our parents know us better than any other person and know us better than we know ourselves. It is a wise parent that will take their child to God’s Word to assist them in making a decision or navigate a circumstance. So often we see children buck at the teaching of their parents because they want to do it in the famous words of Frank Sinatra “My Way.” Do you want favor? Solomon says in order to gain favor, we must be humble.

  1. The wise will inherit honor, but fools get disgrace. (Proverbs 3:35).

Would you rather live a life with honor or disgrace? Since we are made in the image of God (Gen.1:27), God has given us the play book on how to live life. The play book is His Word. He has told us repeatedly that living a life of wisdom will bring about honor, but being foolish will be disgraceful. When we see someone that explodes in anger, is always “negative Nancy,” goes to a substance for comfort, always looks out for their own interests, dishonors God, or dishonors their parents, we see someone who is foolish. Have you seen these people in real life? Do you see the fruits of their wisdom or the fruits of their foolishness? Are they people that are honorable that you want to spend time with or are they people that are a disgrace.

The book of Proverbs is a book of principles. Solomon was letting us know that as he observed life this is what he saw. He saw that the typical wise person was honorable and the typical foolish person was a disgrace. The typical humble person received favor. The typical wise person offered to help those in need.

When faced with a circumstance or a choice to make, what will you do? You must seek God’s Word for a principle or command to follow in making that choice. No matter what the choice, there is a godly principle to help us navigate the way wisely.

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