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Safety from Falls

Where there is no guidance, a people falls,

But in an abundance of counselors there is safety

Proverbs 11:14

One of the opportunities that I have had the privilege to be a part of is raising puppies for Leader Dogs for the Blind. We have had the opportunity to raise 5 dogs and 2 of them have gone on to assist those that are vision impaired have more freedom as these dogs have become the “eyes” for these individuals. It was a wonderful opportunity to be a part of this very worthwhile endeavor. Many have asked us if we will do this again, and I always answer that I don’t know. I would love to do it again, but life has been full.

These dogs are guides for people that are vision impaired so that they do not fall. Our verse today from Proverbs is not talking about the physical act of walking, but it is referring to the living of one’s life. When we live life, there are many decisions that one must make as we go through life. There is not one decision that is made in life that there is not someone who has an opinion about that decision.

We live in the information age. We can “Google” anything. The word “google” refers to 10 to the 100th power. In other words, an unfathomable number. When we “google” something we get an unfathomable number of hits that come up with a solution to our “problem.”

Scripture is not referring to us googling something to find the answer to our problem. It is also not referring to a dog guiding us when we cannot see.

Scripture is referring to wise people. When we are faced with a decision in life, who do we go to in order to assist us in making a wise choice? Our verse says that when we have a decision to make and we do not seek wise guidance in said decision, we fall. When a blind person does not heed the direction of their guide dog, they will fall. What happens when we fall? We are injured. We skin up our knees or break a bone.

So it is when we have a decision to make and we do not seek wise counsel, we suffer some type of consequence for a poor choice. There are some major choices in life that are made and it is the wise person that seeks wise counsel in relation to these choices. How many times have we heard someone say, “I prayed about this and felt like the Lord was directing me…” Yet, when we look at Scripture we can see a clear directive that contradicts the choice the person was making. They were not seeking the Lord’s direction, they were seeking their own desires and put the stamp “I prayed about it” on their decision.

I recently listened to the book “The Power of Who” by Bob Beaudine, and in it he talks about having a “personal board of directors.” This board of directors is your personal abundance of counselors that this Proverb refers to. So often we take the path that leads to failure because this path is well worn and often this path offers the least amount of resistance in the moment. Many times we cannot see the forest for the trees as the famous saying goes. We need others that can see the path of our lives more clearly than we can see it. They have lived life longer than we have. Our board of directors usually knows us better than we know ourselves. Many of the decision we make involve our emotions, and our emotions are good at playing tricks on us.

So who should make up or “board of directors” or our “abundance of counselors?”

  1. Dad/Mom- who knows you better than your parents? They raised you and most parents have their children’s best interest at heart. They know things about you that you do not know about yourself. They see you and know your strengths and your weaknesses. They have lived life longer than you have and know you best. Your parents always have an opinion about the choices you make and as a general rule they would love to give you their opinion. Ask them for it and then listen to what they have to say. I don’t always like the things my dad has to say, but he has proven to be wise throughout my life the more humble I have gotten in listening to him. “Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (Eph. 6:2, 3). When you honor your parents, God promised that it would go well with you. Do you want life to go well? Honor your parents and seek their wisdom. (Bob Beaudine said this was #1 in his book “The Power of Who”)
  2. Mate – If you are married, your mate also knows you well. Not only this, but every decision you make effects your mate. What job you take, how you raise the children, where to live, what car or house to buy, etc. Many decisions that we make in life effect our mates. We should always seek their counsel when making a decision and seek to make these major decision together. When a couple is married, they can together go their parents and seek their counsel for a decision that needs to be made.
  3. Your Pastor – what a blessing it is to be a part of a church family that helps us walk through life. Your pastor, Sunday school teacher, or wise mentor would love to give you wise counsel in the decisions that you make. They have spent much time counseling people and they have seen good choices and poor choices. These people will seek to give advice according God’s Word.
  4. Friends – our friends also know us well. They may have recently gone through a similar situation so they can tell you what they did and the impact that decision had on them.

From all of these people, we have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. How many of us wish we could have a “do-over?” I do. There are many things I wish I could “do-over.” So when someone asks me my opinion about something, I am going to first go to Scripture for principles that will guide the decision, and then I will draw on my bank of experiences and share the things that I did well or the things I wish I could have done differently.

Wise is the person who willingly seeks advice and counsel from others. Foolish is the person who makes a rash life altering decision without seeking the advice of others. Humility is a necessary ingredient in seeking the advice of others. For in so doing we will either fall or be safe.

The guide dogs I raised have a very valuable person at the end of the leash. They have great responsibility and will lead their person to fall or be safe. Will you choose to seek wise counsel in the decisions you make? Will you allow your “abundance of counselors” or “board of directors” to assist you in making wise choices? Safety or injury is at the end of the line. Don’t be fooled into thinking that bad things won’t happen to you, or there is no immediate crash after a decision. Some decisions do not reap the negative consequences until later in life.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments

The Value of Honor

 

“Honor” is not a word that we use as much these days. We may use the word respect instead. When we honor something or someone we place a high value on the person or the thing. How do we treat someone with high respect or with honor?

Words

I think the first thing that we can do to treat someone with honor is by what we say about them when we are with that person and most often times when we are not with them. We know the old adage, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” It seems in our culture today, we want to make sure we are heard. We want to make sure our opinion or thoughts are heard. This is an age of constant communication. If I am thinking something, even if I am by myself, hundreds of people will know what I want to say once I put it on a social media forum. No longer do I have to keep my thoughts to myself. They can be broadcast to hundreds, thousands, or millions of people.

Another phrase that I am troubled by regarding our words is “I need to speak my truth.” What does that mean? The facts are the facts. And yet it seems that in our culture today too many people want to live their life by their own version of the truth. If their version of the truth does not agree with another person’s version of the truth, then what do we do? We are seeing this in the impeachment trial of President Trump.

There never seems to be a loss for words these days, but there seems to be a loss of respect a loss of honor for other people with those words.

My dad and my daughter both called me the other day. One right after the other.  As I hung up with my daughter, I began to consider this concept of honor. Ephesians 6:3 says we are to “honor our father and our mother.” I began to think about and consider that my daughters are watching how I treat my parents.

This am reminded of a story from the Brothers Grimm called Grandmother’s Table

Once there was a feeble old woman whose husband died and left her all alone, so she went to live with her son and his wife and their own little daughter. Every day the old woman’s sight dimmed and her hearing grew worse, and sometimes at dinner her hands trembled so badly the peas rolled off her spoon or the soup ran from her cup. The son and his wife could not help but be annoyed at the way she spilled her meal all over the table, and one day, after she knocked over a glass of milk, they told each other enough was enough.

The set up a small table for her in the corner next to the broom closet and made the old woman eat her meals there. She sat all alone, looking with tear-filled eyes across the room at the others. Sometimes they spoke to her while they ate, but usually it was to scold her for dropping a bowl or a fork.

One evening just before dinner, the little girl was busy playing on the floor with her building blocks, and her father asked her what she was making, “I’m building a little table for you and mother,” she smiled, “so you can eat by yourselves in the corner someday when I get big.”

Her parents sat staring at her for some time and then suddenly they both began to cry. That night they led the old woman back to her place at the big table. From then on she ate with the rest of the family, and her son and his wife never seemed to mind a bit when she spilled something every now and then.

Actions

So what does this story say about our actions. Others are watching our actions. We also must honor others with our actions. How do our actions show honor? By inviting others to eat with us. By holding open a door. By letting another go first. By being the one that asked about the welfare of others rather than always waiting for others to ask about ours. By choosing to sit next to that person that seems all alone. By talking to that person that seems alone or always acts a little awkward. By noticing when others need help rather than always waiting to be told. By treating others how we want to be treated. So many ways we can show honor to others.

“Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Rom. 12:10). Do we ever consider how important it would be to have a competition in honoring others? This friendly little competition is not for the sake of looking better than another, but rather it is show honor to others. It has nothing to do with us and everything to do about the other person.

I wonder how many friendships, marriages, parent-child relationships, boss-employee relationships, etc. would not disintegrate if we all “died to self” (Luke 9:23, 24) and worked harder at “outdoing each other in showing honor?” (Rom.12:10).

Showing honor is a sacrifice. Sometimes it is a sacrifice of our own needs. It might be a sacrifice to our reputation if we show honor to “the least of these.” (Mt. 25:40). Jesus did not care what others thought as He cared for so many. His goal was to show love and honor to others. He also wanted to make sure that He always spoke the truth. As He spoke the truth, He did so with honor for the other person.

I find that as I make honoring others my goal, it removes my focus off myself and on to others. As I am showing honor and love in a sacrificial way my needs seem to pale in comparison.

So Mom and Dad, when you’re drooling at the dinner table or can’t seem to find your mouth or you spill your water all down the front of you, I promise to clean you up and speak kindly to you. After all, you cleaned up after me when I was a child…and I was a pretty messy one at that.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments