crooked

07
Jun
2023

Secure or Crooked?

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,

But he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.

Proverbs 10:9

Have you heard the saying, “A man is only as good as his word?” In other words, what a man says must be backed up by his actions. When a man tells a woman that he loves her, she expects to see it backed up in his actions. If he does not pay attention to her, show her kindness, honor, and respect, then we would wonder if he truly loved her. When a woman says she loves her children, but fails to provide for their basic needs we would wonder about the sincerity of her words. She never hugs them, encourages them, or spends time with them, we would wonder about her love for them.

Our verse in Proverbs talks about walking. This does not mean the activity of walking, though that is a good activity. The word walk actually means how we live. If we live with integrity, we will be secure in our lives. This security is not when you are locked safely inside your house or car, or riding in the Presidents bullet proof Limo with secret service all around you.  The security this is talking about is the security of your reputation. When you say something, everyone around you knows that what you say has happened or will happen. When we live our lives truthfully and honestly, we are walking on ground that is firm. It is secure.

Integrity means being honest and having high moral principles no matter where a person is or who they are with. A person with integrity provides a steadiness and a secureness to the relationship. The trust in the relationship is never broken since they never give anyone a reason to doubt them. They are dependable and without any doubt, and when you are in a relationship with this person you know you can count on them. Any relationship with the person that has impeccable integrity provides a security to the relationship that is unwavering.

This is the kind of love and relationship we have with our God if we are a follower of Jesus. His love and care for us is unshakeable. No matter what we do, God will always love us. He loved us first (I John 4:19) and will never stop loving us. (Rom. 8:35).

I am reminded of the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). Even though the son turned his back on his dad, the son knew the integrity of his father and knew that even though he had treated his father poorly their relationship was secure.

Our reputation goes before us and behind us. People know what kind of a person you are by your reputation. One who walks in a way that demonstrates honest and wholesome character with a high degree of morality, is one who provides a security and a dependability of relationship.

The converse of this person is the one whose way is crooked. In other words, this person lies and is always seeking to cover their tracks. This person is the flagrant opposite of the person with a high moral and wholesome character. Having a relationship with this person is like walking on quick sand or in a completely dark forest. There is no security or safety. You are never quite sure what to expect and the relationship always leaves you with a feeling of being unsettled. We have seen this happen multiple times (actually multiple multiplied by multiple times) on the news to politicians, actors/actresses, or others. It seems that these people are always living life with one eye forward and one eye watching their back always wondering when the truth will actually surface. They tell lies to cover up the last lies. Then they don’t remember what the lie was that they told. “Be sure your sins will find you out.” (Num. 32:23). It seems that these people would learn that a thing can never be covered up. The truth will always be found out, yet the deceivers are themselves so deceived they think that they will be the one to pull the wool over someone’s eyes.

The crooked ways are always found out and the truth is always revealed.

When my girls were young, they would always get in more trouble for lying. I wanted them to understand how significant this was in their lives. A genuine relationship cannot be had with a crooked person. These relationships always leave us in turmoil and confusion. We are never sure which way is up. A relationship with this person is filled with uncertainty and uneasiness.

It is important to evaluate the relationships we are in. if you find yourself with a person of honest character with a high regard for the truth. Your relationship with that person is secure. If you find yourself in a relationship with a person that leaves you feeling uneasy and in turmoil, “leave the presence of a fool.” (Prov. 14:7). If you are married to such a person that leaves you uneasy or in turmoil, seek Biblical counsel. You need help and so does the person you are married to.

We can choose who we want to be… a person with honest integrity or the fool that leads us down a crooked path.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment
22
Feb
2023

Who will win?

I love a good competition. I was born into a family that loved competition, and I married a man who loves competition. We enjoy playing games just the two of us. (By the way, the last game we played, I won:)

Competition can be a good thing. Have you noticed, though, the amount of things that are always fighting for our attention? Let’s just name a few things to get us both on the same page: Phone calls, texts, emails, social media, music, advertisements, podcasts, books, television, friends, family, work, books we read, house work, meal prep, laundry. The list could be endless. As I was thinking about what I needed to accomplish today, I decided I would get done the most pressing thing with the nearest deadline.

We all have choices as we go through our days because so many things are competing for our attention. How do we decide what to choose to do and what we will fill our time with?

Proverbs 2 tells us about a few things that are competing for our attention, and as we analyze these things what is best should rise to the surface as we read about it in the Bible. However, as we get caught up in the whirlwind of our days, it may not seem so obvious on what we should choose.

Read through the box below and take some time to ponder what is in each column and the contrast that the first column – the way of wisdom from the Lord – and the other two columns that are the way of destruction.

Proverbs 2:6-11, 20-21 Proverbs 2: 12- 15 Proverbs 2:16-19, 22
The Lord gives wisdom The way of evil The forbidden woman
From His mouth comes knowledge and understanding Men with perverted speech Adulteress
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright Forsake the path of uprightness Smooth words
He is a shield to those who walk in integrity Walk in the ways of darkness Forsakes the companion of her youth
He guards the paths of justice Rejoice in doing evil Forgets the covenant of her God
He watches over the way of His saints Delight in the perverseness of evil Her house sinks down to death
You will understand righteousness,  justice, equity, every good path Men whose paths are crooked Her paths lead to the departed
Wisdom will come into your heart Devious in their ways None who go to her come back
Knowledge will be pleasant to your soul Nor do they regain the paths of life
Walk in the way of good
Keep to the paths of the righteous
The upright will inhabit the land
Those with integrity will remain in it

God’s ways protect us from harm. His ways are pleasant. His ways are good. His path is straight. His ways provide peace.

The ways of the man with perverted speech and the forbidden woman provide nothing good. The difficulty is that these ways are deceitful. We do not realize we are on this path at first. It seems to be fulfilling our desires and longings. We would call these people in our language today manipulators. They make us think that their ways are good for us and will provide us with the peace we are longing for. We think that their ways will bring fulfillment to what we want. What they really do is bring chaos into our lives. Their words and their actions bring chaos. Their words and actions cause you turn away from those who really love and care for you. They do this because they twist the words and actions of others into something they are not. Today, we call this gas lighting.

However, as we begin on this crooked path ourselves we are blind because the way is “dark.” We find ourselves making excuses to those that truly love and care for us. As we head down this “dark and crooked” path, the ones that love us are like Proverbs 8:1 “Does not wisdom call? Does not understanding raise her voice?” Wisdom calls out after those that are on the dark crooked path, but the further they get down this path they can no longer hear what wisdom is saying. The further they get from the voice of wisdom, the closer they get to destruction.

What is competing for your attention? What is competing for your thoughts? What is competing for your time? What is competing for your treasure (money)? What is competing for desires?

What is competing for your heart?

Stop and look around what path you are on. If you do not know, ask those that love you the most. If you do not know who loves you the most, ask your pastor. Many people have wise parents that would also love to give some wise counsel. You may not want to ask the ones right next to you because they may be on the same dark crooked path that you are. We need those that are wise in our lives so they can speak God’s truth into our lives. We need them to help provide that discernment in the midst of the competition

“My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding.” (Prov. 2:1, 2)

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments