Cedarville University

19
Aug
2020

Joy and Sadness

“Even in laughter the heart may ache…”

Proverbs 14:13

This is the time when so many of us as parents have mixed emotions. I love that Scripture speaks to this. We are not crazy. It is normal. Many of us are sending our kids off to college (if they can attend in person) and we are happy for them, but sad for us. I am so excited for the next stages of life that all of our children are entering, but I am sad for the stage they are leaving behind. The blessing for me due to Covid-19 was that two of our daughters were home from college for five months rather than three months.

Every year since they started attending Cedarville University, I have taken a picture of them next to the door of their room. Now, we have two that have graduated and live in apartments. In a matter of two weeks all three of our daughters moved into new places. They are living in new places and entering new chapters of their lives. Isn’t it exciting to see what the next step is for them? Isn’t it exciting to see how our children embrace the new challenges that they face? Don’t you love the phone calls and the stories? I cherish all of these things.

When I look at what the converse of this would be, I am thankful for the growing pains. The converse is that they live in our basement and don’t become and do what God created them for. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works which God has prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Eph. 2:10). God did not create our kids to be holed up in our basement. He created them and made them for the good works He prepared beforehand for them to do. I certainly don’t want to be in God’s way for the good work that He is going to do through them.

So as hard as it is to watch our children fly and be independent, let’s rejoice in the positives. Let’s focus on being an encouragement to them. Send them letters. Send them packages. Be available when they call and be a listening ear. Sometimes, they don’t want advice. They just want someone to listen. So listen well. Follow up with a text. Remind them how much you love them. Remind them who they are in Christ. Remind them that their identity is found in Christ and not in who their friends say they are or who they feel they are. In all of these wonderful reminders, we will remind ourselves that even though they don’t need us to cook supper for them they still need us. They just need us in different ways and part of our new job is to figure out what these new ways are.

Remember, your job as Mom and Dad is just as essential, it’s just different. Go figure out your new place. Your kids will be glad you did, and you will enter new doors of life as well. You may not move, but the Lord also has new and great plans for you. As believers, we all are “His workmanship.”

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
02
Oct
2019

A Few Months in Review

It’s been a few months since I have written and posted anything. It’s been a busy summer and now we are already into fall. Our oldest daughter graduated from Cedarville University, married her sweetheart, and moved out of our home and into an apartment with her husband. She started her first adult job, and calls often for a mom listening ear and even a little bit of “life lessons from Mom.” I love every minute of those times with her.

Our second daughter started her senior year at Cedarville University after working a full summer of landscaping. We enjoyed competing in a triathlon together this summer and encouraging each other to strive to go just a little bit faster and stay faithful in training. She doesn’t call quite as often as her older sister, but when she does there are always many stories to relate and much to keep up on. Our last conversation lasted 1.5 hours. It is a good thing I didn’t have anything pressing to do at that time. I learned that lesson from my mom and dad. Whenever I call, my parents always have time for me. I have always appreciated that about my parents, so I have tried to make that happen when my girls call. It does not always happen, but I try to put aside what I think might be important and make them the most important thing at that time.

Our third daughter started her sophomore year at Cedarville University. She spent the summer working for her dad (and my husband:)) at a hunting company and also taking a summer class. I enjoyed being able to sit by the pool with her this summer while she worked on her class, and I worked on a myriad of projects. Once our girls have gotten older, it has been my goal to orient my schedule so I could be home as much as possible when they were home. I wanted to always be available in case they needed to talk about something. Plus, now that they are gone more than they are home, I wanted to be able to be with them as much as possible. I enjoyed cooking their favorite foods for them, and adapting things to fit new found allergies that surfaced this summer.

I have been busy working as a nurse and a realtor. I have also been working towards becoming a certified Biblical counselor (Association of Certified Biblical Counselors-ACBC formerly NANC). This process has taken a lot of spare time, but I am excited to have submitted the requirements for step one. Once all my exams have been graded and I pass, I will do 50 hours of observed counseling. I have wanted to be a counselor for over 20 years, and now God has placed this before me at this time in my life. I am excited to see the path this will take.

Another important part of my life for the last year has been my Future Leader Dog puppy, Millie. On August 23, she went back to Leader Dogs for her formal training. Our house has been quiet without her, but there is a lot less hair and slobber that I have to clean up. I eagerly await any updates about her progress.

This has been my life for the last few months. I am excited to start writing and blogging again. I have missed writing the lessons God has been teaching me, but have been focusing my writing time on answering questions for my counseling exams.

I am excited to spend time with my girls this week as we go to Cedarville University for parent’s weekend and homecoming. I think next year will be my 30 year reunion. Hard to believe it’s been 30 years since my own days at Cedarville. God is so good to me.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
01
May
2019

Danielle, A Time to Reflect before College Graduation

Sweet Memories

There is a lot of musing at different times in our lives. I feel like the older I get the more time I spend reflecting and less time I spend planning. That does seem pretty obvious since there is more behind me to muse about than what what there is ahead to plan.

It wasn’t too long ago it seems that I started to teach Danielle how to read. I have always loved reading and knew that books were a good way to not only educate others but a way to stimulate a powerful imagination. Even when they were newborns, I read books to them. I had my favorites to read to them. When they were small we read simple books like Peek-A-Boo, Pat the Bunny, and Ten Little Ladybugs. Then we read Sleeping BeautySleeping Beauty, The Large and Growly Bear, and Nurse Nancy. (I was secretly trying to nudge one of my children into medicine, but that didn’t work.)

Soon we were homeschooling and used things like Five In a Row Vol. I, II , IIIto help guide our book choices. We fell in love with Ping, Lentil, and Madeline. We started playing the shoe throwing game because of A Pair of Red Clogs .

Then we started spending hours after lunch reading our all-time favorite series The Chronicles of Narnia. I would finish a chapter and the girls would beg me, “Mom, just one more chapter.” So we read more. I must admit I had some good voices for all the characters which added to the joy.

We read so many good books and spent so many hours around the kitchen table imagining the world that was written on the page. We would sit on the front porch, and enjoy the sweet smells of summer while being whisked away into another world that in each of our minds was not the same and yet was so real to each of us.

I long for those days and those storybook friends to rejoin our lives. I long for those simple days when we had time to read, “One more chapter.”

And yet as I reminisce about those days and enjoy those sweet memories, I am overjoyed that I had the honor and the privilege to spend all those hours with my children. As the tears flood my eyes as I write these words, I am thankful that I had the privilege to homeschool my children.

Sweet Firsts

We experienced so many firsts together. I enjoyed those sweet days of learning together. Even when there were tears of frustration, there were also shouts of triumph as a difficult concept was understood. There was much laughter over some silly little thing.

When it was time to pick a major, I never thought I could be a teacher. I couldn’t explain anything with the hopes that anyone could understand it. Yet God took that feeling of inadequacy and my joy in learning and allowed me to homeschool our daughters.

Now in just a few short days, our oldest daughter, who I affectionately call my guinea pig, is going to graduate from Cedarville University with a degree in Middle childhood education.

A Monumental Day

What a monumental day for me.

What a monumental day for her.

My daughter, who I homeschooled, is going to graduate from college with an education degree. What an unbelievable and ironic event. The mom who felt inadequate with only a passion for learning and a desire to be faithful is going to watch her sweet little guinea pig get a college degree.

Danielle is doing her student teaching now, and sometimes she calls me and says, “Mom, remember when we… I did that with my students today.” Such a sweet blessing.

The years have gone by so quickly, but I have treasured them all. There are many cherished memories.

Just four years ago, we stood with red eyes, wet cheeks, and some fear as to what lay ahead. Even though Dave and I both graduated from Cedarville and loved it, it was still a new adventure for Danielle and for us. She didn’t have any friends, had to go to class every day, keep track of her own schedule, and wash her laundry and hopefully her  sheets.

Had I prepared her for all of this?

There were a lot of phone calls that first semester. Never telling me she was lonely, but I knew she was. It takes time to build a new community. It takes intentionality. It takes hard work and perseverance to begin a new life.

A Day to be Proud of

Danielle, I am so proud of who you have become. I am so proud of your desire to be intentional with people. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. You have a great work ethic. You are faithful. You have a great sense of humor.  Most importantly, you love God and your walk with Him is evident by the fruit in your life.

So on Saturday as you hear your name called…you feel that hard earned diploma in your hand…and you walk across that stage as a college graduate never forget the simple things that made you who you are.

Our morning times learning about the Lord around the kitchen table. The shoe throwing game. The voices from the Land of Narnia. And a family that loves you more than you will ever know.

We are proud of you!

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment