Pot-stirrer or Peacemaker?

Hatred stirs up strife

But love covers all offenses

Proverbs 10:12

Have you ever heard the phrase, “that person is a pot-stirrer?”  The person being referred to in the saying usually creates chaos in their wake. They go to a family gathering, a party, or a co-worker and what ensues after being with them is disagreements, shouting matches, or strained relationships. After being in the presence of the pot-stirrer, one often leaves feeling hurt, misunderstood, or offended. They give off a sense of uneasiness. Other people are never quite sure of what they are going to get when they are in the presence of said “pot-stirrer.”

Why do you suppose that the “pot-stirrer” is like this? Why do they like to create drama and stress in the situations and relationships in their lives? Proverbs 10:12 tells us. They have hatred in their hearts. Rather than see others as people to love and cherish, they see others as a means to an end. These “pot-stirrers” are self-centered and want to always be the center of the conversation, the party, the family gathering, or the work environment. When they are not getting what they want, they create drama through gossip, arguments, or other attention getting measures so that the attention goes from others to them.

The opposite of hatred is love.  These lovers are peacemakers. They are the kindest people you ever wanted to meet. They see the best in every situation and are always looking for ways to encourage others and love them. They see the best in every situation and even when provoked they return with kind and considerate words. Their tone of voice is always gentle and their eyes sparkle with care and joy when in the presence of anyone. They always make you feel like you are the most important person in the room and when you leave their presence you feel lighter and have a smile on your face and a lilt in your step.

I remember a conversation I had with someone that lived out “love covers all offenses.” As we were talking, I was relating a mistake that I had made and the effect that it had on what we were working on. By the time we were finished talking, the kind lady made me feel like the error I had made was actually her error. I knew that it was me that had done the wrong, but I walked away feeling refreshed and joyful. I purposed after that to stop seeing every error not from my perspective but from the other person’s perspective. To give grace instead of humiliation in the presence of others that had committed a wrong or an offense.

When we determine to cover an offense, we breathe life into the relationship. We breathe life into the other person. We communicate through our actions that we love the other person and do not condemn them for the wrongs they have committed. I am not saying that when a crime is committed that we pretend the crime wasn’t committed and let the criminal keep carrying out their crimes. This does not show them love. This allows them to continue down a path of destruction.  This is not helpful for the individual.  There needs to be punishment for the crime, but their does not need to be bitterness over the crimes of the past.

What kind of person are you? Would your friends or family members call you a “pot-stirrer” or a peacemaker? Do you create chaos in your wake or do others feel encouraged when leaving your presence? Do others feel refreshed after being in your presence or do they feel like you always suck the wind out of their sails?

I have been in the presence of both of these kinds of people, and at the end of the day I want to be a peacemaker. I want to be the person that refreshes those that have spent time with me.

Hatred or love. Stirring or covering. Strife or peace.

The choice is up to you.