Fall season of Mothering

One of the reasons I enjoy living in Michigan is the various seasons we get to enjoy. Granted there are times when it feels like from day-to-day that we could experience every season in one day. Snow in the morning and t-shirt weather in the afternoon. I think there are many other parts of the world that probably experience this same phenomenon.

This year I was very excited about my garden and planting it. We put up a new fence so the deer could no longer pillage my produce when it was ready for me to pick. We also buried the fence so the woodchuck could not dig his way underneath. It has been a joy this year to be able to go out to the garden and pick berries, green beans, corn, tomatoes, peas, cucumbers, zucchini, squash, and potatoes. The summer season of gardening and picking produce has been a wonderful thing. I feel so much healthier having eaten my way through my garden these last few months. Every day when I go out to the garden, I am greeted by the sunflowers. The bees are busy on them and the sunflowers have happily turned their faces to the sun.

As my garden begins to slow down its production and we turn our eyes to the joys of fall with pumpkins and cooler temperatures, I am reminded of the season of life that I am entering. I feel like it’s the fall season of my mothering. I have been entering this season for a while. Our oldest daughter left for her first year of college 6 years ago and our youngest daughter left for her senior year of college in August. The days of having one of our children under our roof is coming to a close.

I am thankful for these college years, these years of transition. They give me time to adjust to having no kids at home. To being needed in a different way. To being a mom in a different way.

I am no longer on the field. I am no longer on the sidelines passing out orange slices and juice boxes. For most days, I am not even in the bleachers.

My days are no longer planned around game schedules, practice schedules, piano lessons, work schedules…

So how do you mother well in this season, this fall season? The same basic things that were important when they were young continue to be important today. That has been what has helped me to transition.

1. Daily time spent alone with God in His Word and in prayer. This has been the Rock that helped me through the other seasons so now that we have moved on, it should not change. No matter what season you are in, time with God in His Word and prayer is a non-negotiable.
2. My identity is not found in being the mom of my daughters. My identity is found in Christ. This identity never changes and will never change. It will never go through a different season. Rather I will always be who God says I am: Adopted, redeemed, forgiven, and His Workmanship (His poetic Masterpiece).
3. Be available. When they call answer the phone and make time to talk. I learned this from my mom. No matter when, she always answered and made time for my phone call.
4. Time together in person is best. Phone calls to check in and hear each other’s voice is also a great way to stay connected. Now that we are in a new technology era, a text to let our kids know we are praying for them or just checking in when they are busy lets them know we are thinking of them. As nice as technology is though, it doesn’t replace spending time together or talking to each other.
5. Another thing I have committed to is sending letters. Every week while my girls were in college, I have sent them a letter. Usually, my letters were filled with information they might already know, but it’s nice to get a letter and see that familiar handwriting. Knowing that someone on the other end thought enough to sit down and put pen to paper and write a note. My older girls still get letters, but not as often.
6. Our middle daughter recently had surgery. I was thankful that my schedule was such that I could be there for surgery and take her freezer meals for when she was back to work. It was nice to be available and assist her.
7. Keep looking for ways to serve and love others. Were there times when someone helped you out? Be that someone for another.
8. Love your husband well. He has often taken 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th place while your kids were small. What can you do now that will show him that you love him?
9. Keep loving your parents well. As your children were growing up, your parents and your husband’s parents may have taken a back seat. How can you love your parents well? We are commanded to “honor your father and mother.” (Eph. 6:2). There is no time frame for this verse. At every stage of life, we are to honor our father and mother.

No matter the individual, we are to “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31). In this season when life is changing and transitioning, be a student of others and learn to love others well. Our children are always watching us and learning from us. They are watching how we go through this stage because some day, they will go through it too. Just because our kids are out of the house, does not mean they stop watching how we live life. We are always an example to them, whether good or bad. Strive to honor God in all areas of your relationships and be open to those that may have a word of constructive criticism for you, even if it is your kids. After all, they are the ones who know you best.