“The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water,
But a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Proverbs 20:5
Christmas is coming, and with Christmas comes Christmas presents, Christmas shopping, and Christmas lists. We all like to receive and most often we ask everyone for their Christmas list. We want to get others something that they want. We don’t want to get something for someone and when they open it up their face falls. Rather than joy and excitement on their face, they have a look of almost disgust. Rather than a heart of thankfulness, there is a heart of complaining. We have all seen this at Christmas or at birthday celebrations.
What about the unexpected present that was never asked for, but is a gift that brings the recipient much joy? That surprise gift that brings great pleasure to the recipient because it was never anything they asked for, rather it was something that because you knew them you knew it would be the perfect gift. So you bought it for them and gave it to them.
We celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving with our kids this year. My husband is a very thoughtful gift giver and pays attention to what is said and it immediately goes into his Amazon cart:) I received a few other presents that were also very perceptive of the giver; things that I did not ask for, but are very special because the givers did a great job at listening to what I said or noticing what I needed.
Our Proverb for today is similar to gift giving. It is the art of perception. It involves the art of observation, and the science of asking good questions. Our hearts are the seat of our desires. Oftentimes, we do not even know or understand what we are desiring or what we are wanting. Have you ever asked or been asked, “Why are you crying?” and the response to the questions was “I don’t know.” I have been asked this question and have had this very same response.
The desires or purposes in our hearts are like water that are deep in the earth. We live out in the “country.” We have 5 acres and have no connection to city water, so we have a well. Have you ever seen the machine that is used to dig a well? (if not, see the picture that goes with this post) It is a truck with a big “boom” on the back that is used to bore a hole into the earth until it hits water. These drills bore 100 -500 feet into the earth. There needs to be enough water for a house to meet its water needs.
A person of understanding will be perceptive enough to ask the right questions in order to “bore” into the person to find out the purposes and desires in their hearts. Just like the process of digging a well is long and challenging, so the process of understanding another person can be hard and challenging. It takes multiple questions, quiet observation skills, and the gift of perception.
The discovery, though, of what might be in the heart of another person may be a surprise to both. Herein lies the beauty of the person of understanding, they know what to do next with what is discovered. They know how to help the other sort through the purposes and desires by helping them evaluate those purposes with grace and humility.
As a biblical counselor and as a mom this verse is a challenge to me. I want in every interaction that I have with others to be a woman of understanding. I want to carefully and delicately understand the desires of the other person, and then help them evaluate those desires against the truth of God’s Word. I am still learning how to do this and will always be learning how to better represent Jesus in my everyday interactions with others. I want to represent my Lord well by being perceptive, asking good questions, and having quiet observation skills of others.
“The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water,
But a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Proverbs 20:5
