The Seasons of Motherhood

Be Thankful

How is your schedule going? Have you put one into place and started following it? Have you accomplished all those things on your “to do” list that you have always wanted to do, but never seemed to have time to accomplish? I am struggling with feeling like there are just too many things to do. Since we all seem to have extra time on our hands, I feel like there are so many different avenues that people are suggesting of things for me to do. There are webinars to watch and podcasts to listen to. The lady that I follow for my morning exercises is taking longer for my workouts, since she figures I have more time. I certainly hope I am in better shape after this is over since my workouts are going longer.

Be selective

Just like when we are able to go out and do anything we want with anyone we want, we still need to say “no” to a few things, we need to practice that same principle. We still do not have to do everything. We must enjoy this time of not having a packed schedule and enjoy the things we are doing rather than rush through them. Just because we are getting suggestions from everyone to do everything does not mean that we have to say “yes” to these things. Make your schedule and be selective at what you say “yes” to. We have had the privilege of having our oldest daughter and her husband here with us for an extended period of time. Rather than go about a regular routine of all the chores and work that I could get done, I have enjoyed spending time with them playing games, watching movies, going on walks, making food together, working on a puzzle together, etc.  What a joy to make these extra memories together.

Be intentional with others

During our normal days, we often let our schedule dictate who we spend time with. Now that our schedules look different, we need to be intentional in reaching out to people. Call friends and family members you wouldn’t normally communicate with on a regular basis and check-in with them and see how they are doing. I am sure a conversation with someone new will brighten and cheer both of your days. Get out the stationary out and write someone a letter. The post office is still running. The postal delivery workers practice social distancing routinely in their jobs as they are out delivering your mail.

 Spend time in prayer and Bible Study

The most important thing we need to do during this time is to spend time praying and reading God’s Word. We need to be praying as a nation that this virus will cease to spread and those that are infected with it will recover. We need to be praying for the leaders of our country to make wise decisions regarding our health and how to stop the spread of this virus. We need to be praying for each other that we would learn through this experience rather than get angry and resentful over it.

Be thankful

Every day we have a choice to be thankful for the events in our days or to grumble and complain about them. As a family since this has started, we have been sharing one thing at dinner every night that we are thankful for. Yesterday was my birthday. Before all of this started, I was going to be home alone for my birthday. I was so happy yesterday to be able to share my birthday with my family than be home by myself. If I could pick, I would rather that my daughters be at college and my daughter who is a senior be able to continue her senior year at college as normal. However, since that is not part of God’s plan, I am thankful that yesterday was filled with such love and joy and memories with my family.

With every difficult and challenging situation, we must find the things to be thankful for rather than grumble. We must be sure to enjoy our days and not fill them to overflowing with too many things. Enjoy each day, don’t rush through it. Be sure to spend time reading God’s Word and praying.

“If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (II Chron. 7:14)

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A Homeschool Mom Perspective

Mamas and Daddies…parents…or anyone that is struggling with this situation we are in….what an unprecedented time we live in. We have such an opportunity to teach our children so many things through this challenging part of history we are living. Those of you parents that already homeschool know what to do-your life has not changed that much. As a Mom of three homeschool graduates, I had my girls home with me all the time, and I loved every minute of it. Those of you that are used to sending your children to school and are having a hard time managing a job from home and the children at home, please let me offer a little assistance to you as you are now home with your children.

Schedule

You must have a schedule. Do not attempt to go through your days without a schedule. Start at the beginning of the day and put everyone on a schedule. Everyone needs to get up at the same time every day. Everyone needs to go to bed at the same time. If you as a parent got up at 6:00 and the kids got up at 7:00, keep the same schedule. There can be some adjusting since there is not any transportation time that is needed. The goal here is to be consistent. The same with bedtime. Keep it consistent. Then schedule the rest of your day, and post it so everyone knows exactly what is expected of them.

Together Time

Since everyone is in the house together, make the most of it. As part of your schedule, plan all meals to eat together. During mealtimes, talk together. If you feel like you don’t know what else to talk about since everyone knows what everyone else is doing then go online and find some questions. This link has 100+ questions that can be asked at mealtime. Make mealtime a fun time together that brings good conversation and laughter. We all need to laugh during this serious and difficult time. https://www.focusonthefamily.ca/content/100-mealtime-questions

Alone Time

Your together time will be so much more enjoyable if everyone has time to be alone. Make this a priority. Everyone needs to go to their room or somewhere in the house and spend time alone. This can be time to read a book, do schoolwork, write letters to friends, take up a new hobby, read your Bible and pray, etc. The time that everyone spends together will be so much better if everyone spends time alone. Let’s admit, after a while even our sweetest sister, spouse, or friend gets on our nerves if we are together all the time. Spend time alone. Schedule this in everyone’s day. This alone time is a perfect time for parents to get their work done that they need to do for their jobs.

Read a Book Out Loud Together

Some of my favorite memories with my girls was our time together when I would read out loud to them. The characters in those books became friends and became part of our conversation and a part of our everyday life. One of our favorite series to read aloud was “The Chronicles of Narnia.” I know that our library is closed down and we cannot check books out, but hopefully you have some good books at home or you can rent them online from the library. I am currently listening to a book on tape from the library, but you can also get a book from the library and download it on your hand held device and begin reading it out loud. Again, this needs to be part of your schedule.

Play Outside

The children and the parents need time outside. I used to make my girls go outside and play every day. Two of them liked to be outside and one of them did not. We always called her our indoor flower, but she still had to go outside. If she decided she didn’t want to play outside, then she could take her book outside and read. The point is that we all need fresh air. Especially during this time of a pandemic, we all need fresh air. So go outside and play ball or foursquare or swing on the swings in your backyard or make a fort. There are so many fun things, and this will give your children the chance to be creative.

Miscellaneous Time

What other things can be part of your schedule? Do a puzzle together or separately. We would pick puzzles according to the girls skill level and they would have a puzzle contest to see who could put their puzzle together first. Do a scavenger hunt. When our second daughter was born, my oldest always needed a little bit of entertainment during feeding time, so I came up with a game she could play. The game is called the touching game. I give her an object and she had to go touch it and come back. Then I would give her second object, then she had to touch the first object and then go touch the second object, etc. They get a little exercise and they learn words and objects. This game has become such a hit that my daughters have played it with their friends. It is something to play this game with 7 teens and for me as the object giver to try to remember what objects I gave to whom so they didn’t touch the same thing or I didn’t send any of them in the same direction. Play other games together, such as board games.

The Week-end

Do things a little different on the week-end. Make a schedule, but make it with some different things. The children can help you clean the house, work in the yard, plant a garden, cook some meals. This is the perfect time to teach them a new hobby that you want them to share with you.

Redeem the Time

The word “redeem” means to rescue or to buy back. Make the most of this time. Don’t look at it this time of quarantine as a negative, look at it as a positive. Be creative in the way you manage your time. Don’t get caught wasting time. Just because there is so much free time does not mean that we should waste it. Make the most of it. Rescue or redeem your time from being wasted. I want to say again, make a schedule. You will be so glad you did. A schedule is similar to a crib for a baby. A crib is used to keep the baby from falling out of bed-it is for the baby’s protection. A schedule will help your children to feel safe and secure because they know exactly what to expect out of their day. It will also minimize the amount of times you hear, “I’m bored.” Those words were not permitted at our house.

Dear parents, this situation that we are all in can be used in our lives and the lives of our children in a mighty way. Make the most of it. Redeem the time.

(The picture with this post is my Grandma teaching our daughters (Denise, middle daughter pictured) how to sew.

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Prayer and Peace

As I sit here in the peace and tranquility of my house looking out the windows at the beautiful sunshine, I so appreciate the calm that I enjoy here. Only a few hours ago, I was out in the chaos with more shoppers at Sam’s Club than I had ever seen and more empty shelves at Meijer than I had ever seen. People in the stores wearing masks and gloves. The news awash with “school closings, restaurant closings, virtual meetings” and canceled gatherings of more than 10 people depending on what state you live in. We are all living in this historical moment. The moment that our children or grandchildren will read and study about in the history books.

What I think everyone needs is a little perspective.

God is Sovereign

First, we all need to realize that God is sovereign. No matter what happens, God is on the throne and He is not surprised by any of this. We can trust Him and know that He always has a purpose for all things that happen to us. We may not like anything about any of this, but we do know that nothing is outside of God’s control. God “works all things according the counsel of His will.” (Eph. 1:11).

Wash your hands

Second, as with any other sickness, the same hygienic rules need to apply. WASH YOUR HANDS! It is proven that washing your hands is better than using hand sanitizer. If there is no way to wash your hands, then use hand sanitizer. Also, if you are sick, stay home and keep your germs to yourself. This is one instance where selfishness is preferred.

Don’t panic

Third, don’t panic. “God has NOT given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” (II Tim. 1:7). When I was at the store today, I did not see any fighting or brawling but there definitely was fear. The biggest fear that most have is the fear of the unknown. No one knows how long this is going to last for or what the outcome will be. Let’s be examples to others and not live in fear.

Be respectful

Fourth, when did it become okay to disrespect those in authority over us? I know that no President has ever been perfect but I do think that President Trump is doing his best to serve our country well. He has advisors around him that give him sound advice. It is sad that he was so criticized for his speech that he gave closing down flights to Europe. I heard he wasn’t sympathetic enough or caring enough for the predicament of the American people. I feel so bad for President Trump. Constant criticism and yet I wonder how much sleep he gets, how much time to rest, how much time to enjoy dinner with his family. There seems to always be one crises after another. I think we should be praying for our leaders rather than constantly criticizing them. I am glad that they are working at trying to do their best at protecting the American people. The leaders of our countries are not making arbitrary decisions, they are making decision that are informed.

Let’s be people of prayer and peace. I Timothy 2:1-3 tells us to “…pray…for kings and all who are in high positions, and that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. For this is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior.”

Let’s be people of prayer and peace.

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I confess I…

“Sorry.” Is this word quick to come off our lips? Not even “I am sorry, but just “sorry.” When someone has wronged you or hurt you, does saying a quick “sorry” make you feel like they really do realize the pain they have caused you? Does that one word invoke a response on your part? There is no question, so rather than an “I forgive you” we usually say “it’s okay.” Is it really okay?

Do we teach our children the proper way to make an offense right? Is it something we have put effort into and have been intentional with? If we have more than one child there are bound to be multiple opportunities to work on teaching these children the proper way to say “I am sorry.”

When our girls were young, our dining room was the place of correction and discipline. We would go in the dining room after the offender was found out and talk about the offense. We would talk about why it was wrong. The offender would pray “Dear God, I am sorry I hit my sister. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” Then there would be some punishment. Then the offender had to go talk to her sister (we only had girls) and say the same thing. “I am sorry I hit you. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” The offended sister would say “yes.” And then they had to hug each other. (I think the hugging was their least favorite part.)

A few weeks ago, an incident happened and it was all captured and sent to me thanks to Snap Chat. First, I received a video of the offense.  Next, the offender said “What did Mom teach us…I am sorry I (she named the offense) …I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” I was tickled to hear that they remembered what I had taught them and used it. The only part they forgot was the hug.

After some study over the last few months regarding forgiveness, I would tweak a little bit of what I would teach my daughters. Now I would have them say, “I confess I hit you. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”

(Just to be clear in my example from a few weeks ago, there was no hitting.)

“Confess” means to “say the same thing.” Both sisters knew that one hit the other. It is like they are agreeing about what the offender did. “Sorry” can have a meaning of feeling bad only because you were caught. When we are confessing to another, we are saying the same thing about our offense. What we did was wrong. We know and so does the one that has been offended.

Wouldn’t forgiveness be so much easier if the person that hurt us, provided us with a genuine expression of their feelings for their wrong doing?

Too often today I hear parents tell their kids to say they are sorry. No punishment. No time spent explaining how the process needs to go. No teaching time in the midst of the correction. So the kid who offended looks at the other kid (if they are lucky) who was hurt by the offender and says “sorry.”

Just a measly little offhanded “sorry.” What kind of message does that convey to either one of these children? That I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and I just have to say “sorry” and I can keep doing what I want.

This weak system we have developed is not helping make our children less selfish, rather it is making them more. We do not have to teach most of our children to be selfish, rather we have to teach them to look out for the needs of others and be kind and considerate to others.

If we began to deal with each incident in a way that helped the offender to see that their actions harmed another individual and they need to take ownership of that wrong, we might have a different society.

It is never too late to start teaching your children. There may be some pushback, but be strong parents and hold your ground. Someday, they may do something to you, and if you have taught them the correct way to verbalize their wrong, they may look at you and say “Mom/Dad, I confess I did … I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” At that moment, all the work you put into it will make it worth it.

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The Value of Honor

 

“Honor” is not a word that we use as much these days. We may use the word respect instead. When we honor something or someone we place a high value on the person or the thing. How do we treat someone with high respect or with honor?

Words

I think the first thing that we can do to treat someone with honor is by what we say about them when we are with that person and most often times when we are not with them. We know the old adage, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” It seems in our culture today, we want to make sure we are heard. We want to make sure our opinion or thoughts are heard. This is an age of constant communication. If I am thinking something, even if I am by myself, hundreds of people will know what I want to say once I put it on a social media forum. No longer do I have to keep my thoughts to myself. They can be broadcast to hundreds, thousands, or millions of people.

Another phrase that I am troubled by regarding our words is “I need to speak my truth.” What does that mean? The facts are the facts. And yet it seems that in our culture today too many people want to live their life by their own version of the truth. If their version of the truth does not agree with another person’s version of the truth, then what do we do? We are seeing this in the impeachment trial of President Trump.

There never seems to be a loss for words these days, but there seems to be a loss of respect a loss of honor for other people with those words.

My dad and my daughter both called me the other day. One right after the other.  As I hung up with my daughter, I began to consider this concept of honor. Ephesians 6:3 says we are to “honor our father and our mother.” I began to think about and consider that my daughters are watching how I treat my parents.

This am reminded of a story from the Brothers Grimm called Grandmother’s Table

Once there was a feeble old woman whose husband died and left her all alone, so she went to live with her son and his wife and their own little daughter. Every day the old woman’s sight dimmed and her hearing grew worse, and sometimes at dinner her hands trembled so badly the peas rolled off her spoon or the soup ran from her cup. The son and his wife could not help but be annoyed at the way she spilled her meal all over the table, and one day, after she knocked over a glass of milk, they told each other enough was enough.

The set up a small table for her in the corner next to the broom closet and made the old woman eat her meals there. She sat all alone, looking with tear-filled eyes across the room at the others. Sometimes they spoke to her while they ate, but usually it was to scold her for dropping a bowl or a fork.

One evening just before dinner, the little girl was busy playing on the floor with her building blocks, and her father asked her what she was making, “I’m building a little table for you and mother,” she smiled, “so you can eat by yourselves in the corner someday when I get big.”

Her parents sat staring at her for some time and then suddenly they both began to cry. That night they led the old woman back to her place at the big table. From then on she ate with the rest of the family, and her son and his wife never seemed to mind a bit when she spilled something every now and then.

Actions

So what does this story say about our actions. Others are watching our actions. We also must honor others with our actions. How do our actions show honor? By inviting others to eat with us. By holding open a door. By letting another go first. By being the one that asked about the welfare of others rather than always waiting for others to ask about ours. By choosing to sit next to that person that seems all alone. By talking to that person that seems alone or always acts a little awkward. By noticing when others need help rather than always waiting to be told. By treating others how we want to be treated. So many ways we can show honor to others.

“Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Rom. 12:10). Do we ever consider how important it would be to have a competition in honoring others? This friendly little competition is not for the sake of looking better than another, but rather it is show honor to others. It has nothing to do with us and everything to do about the other person.

I wonder how many friendships, marriages, parent-child relationships, boss-employee relationships, etc. would not disintegrate if we all “died to self” (Luke 9:23, 24) and worked harder at “outdoing each other in showing honor?” (Rom.12:10).

Showing honor is a sacrifice. Sometimes it is a sacrifice of our own needs. It might be a sacrifice to our reputation if we show honor to “the least of these.” (Mt. 25:40). Jesus did not care what others thought as He cared for so many. His goal was to show love and honor to others. He also wanted to make sure that He always spoke the truth. As He spoke the truth, He did so with honor for the other person.

I find that as I make honoring others my goal, it removes my focus off myself and on to others. As I am showing honor and love in a sacrificial way my needs seem to pale in comparison.

So Mom and Dad, when you’re drooling at the dinner table or can’t seem to find your mouth or you spill your water all down the front of you, I promise to clean you up and speak kindly to you. After all, you cleaned up after me when I was a child…and I was a pretty messy one at that.

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Do you choose to believe the truth?

There are so many lies out there that we start to believe about ourselves. We have no value. We are not good at anything. We are not good enough. No one likes us. No one loves us. If I was happy then everything would be good. And the list could go on and on. Where do these thoughts come from?

We tend to be influenced by what we perceive the world thinks is valuable.

We should rather be feasting on the truth of what God’s word says about us.

While Jesus walked on this earth, the people that seemed to have value according to the world’s standards were the religious leaders and the wealthy. Yet, who did Jesus spend all of His time with? The tax collectors. The fishermen. The ill. The homeless.

After Jesus went back to heaven, who was it that God used to change the world with His Gospel?

The fishermen. A murderer. A tax collector.

What is the truth? God can take anyone and use them for His honor and glory and to proclaim His message which has more value than any message the world tries to get us to believe.

The question is who do you believe?

If God can take fishermen, a murderer, a tax collector, those that were ashamed of Him, and someone willing to deny Him, then what does that mean about you?

God saw these people as so valuable that Jesus came to earth to spend time with them. He came to earth to live with them and to teach them the truth.

What about the woman at the well? She was a Samaritan-that race of people that the Jews hated-Jesus spent time with this woman teaching her the truth. Not only was she a Samaritan, but she had been married multiple times. She obviously did not feel as if she had any value. If multiple men had rejected her as their wife, then she must have had no value. YET, Jesus spoke to her. The Son of God spoke to this woman who had been rejected by her multiple (5) husbands.  If anyone has any reason to believe they have no value, this woman did. YET, Jesus spoke to her. She did have value. (John 4)

God wants to speak to all of us through His Word. He wants all of us to know that we have value.

He loves us so much, He demonstrated His love for us. (Rom. 5:8).

We all have a choice. We daily choose whether we will believe the truth about who God says we are or the lies that the world and Satan try to get us to believe.

What will you choose?

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You Were Bought With A Price

When my parents were kids, they used to go to the Dime Store or they also had a Five and Dime Store. With the increase in the cost of living, the Dime Store is now Dollar General or The Dollar Tree. Now if you have been in Dollar General, you know that not everything in there is $1.  However, you know that the quality of things that you find in Dollar General is not the same quality you would find if you went to Macy’s, Nordstrom’s, or William Sonoma. The quality and the cost are different at these stores.

Cost vs. Quality

We tend to equate cost with quality. If something is expensive, the general consensus is the quality is also very good.

So a piece of cookware bought at Dollar General and a piece of cookware bought at William Sonoma will not have the same cost. We would tend to value the cookware from William Sonoma higher than the cookware bought at Dollar General.

Let’s transition this.

What kind of value do you or any of us for that matter place on another human being and on ourselves?

Do we think of the cost? Or do we only value a human being if they have something valuable to offer?

What does Scripture have to say?

“For you were bought with a price…” (I Cor. 6:20).

What was that price you were bought with?

Christ laid down His life for us. He gave up His life so that we can have eternal life.

Christians that are struggling with who they are, say they have no self-worth, and they have no self-esteem, are forgetting the most important thing. Christ paid for you with His life.

“You were bought with a price.”

When we sit around and mope because we feel no one likes us, do we remember “we were bought with a price?”

When we feel sorry for ourselves because there have been other people who told us we were worthless, do we remember “we were bought with a price?”

When we feel valueless and see nothing good in ourselves, do we remember “we were bought with a price?”

Thoughts vs. Action

Too many Christians get so caught up in what others THINK of them, they forget what God has DONE for them. Wouldn’t you rather have someone show you how much they love you rather than just tell you they love you?

As we continue this series of blogs I am writing about our identity, we must remember the most important of lessons. “We were bought with a price.”

So on the day when no one will sit with you at lunch, remember you are so valuable dear Christian that “you were bought with a price.”

Or maybe it’s when others make fun of you for something, remember that you are made in God’s image and “you were bought with a price.”

Too often the world sucks us into thinking that we are only valuable if the right people like us, we wear the right clothes, drive the right car, live in the right house, have the right friends…Who actually defines what is right?

When the end of our days draws near, the friends we had in high school will be a distant memory. Unfortunately, we let those school friends impact our thinking about who we are. I have.

Rather, when the end of our days draws near, we should be focused on the God who loved us so much He sent His Son to pay the price for our sins. Why not start living this every day, right now?

“YOU WERE BOUGHT WITH A PRICE…”

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A Year in Review, and A year Yet to be Seen

It is the beginning of a new year and with that so many of us start with new goals or a new resolve. This will be the year… We have tried to change things in our lives and we always start off with the best intentions, but then something happens. We get sick, or extra work from our jobs sets us back, our kids get sick, or we wake up one morning and are so tired from the days before we just don’t have any motivation.

This is the exact moment when the rubber meets the road.

This is when we determine what kind of person we are going to be.

So what are you going to do?

Call it quits on those goals you had at the beginning of the year and determine that it’s just not doable? Label yourself a failure and figure they were stupid goals anyway.

Last year, I wrote a list of goals that I thought were very doable. As I went back through my goals and the things I accomplished, I realized a very important truth that we all have heard many times:

“If you aim for nothing, you hit it every time.”

I realized that the goals that I had set for last year helped me to accomplish some things that I would have never done if I had not set any goals. I may not have been successful at every one of my goals, but in every one of my goals, I MADE PROGRESS.

Isn’t that what you are hoping for? Don’t you want to say at the end of the year, I made progress? Maybe not as much progress as I had set out to accomplish, but I did make progress.

One of my goals was to read 10 pages of a book every day. That would have given me a total of 3650 pages. I was short and only read 3289, but if I had not set this goal I would not have read 3289 pages.

Another one of my goals was to work on my daughter’s crosstich every day for 30 minutes. Again, I did not work on it every day, but I did work on it as you can see from the picture I took last year to the picture I took this year.

I have these things as goals for this year again, and I am excited to see how much I will accomplish.

I set the goal of reading 10 pages per day, because I want to become a certified Biblical Counselor. In order to do this, I needed to read 1,000 pages from a list of books given to me by those who will certify me. I worked last year at many of the requirements to become a certified Biblical counselor. I have one more thing to accomplish and that is to start counseling people under the direction of my supervisor.

Another of my goals for this year is to actually become a certified Biblical counselor. I am excited to see where God will direct my steps in relation to this.

However, if I did not have goals, I would not have been able to accomplish any of this.

There are things that I have been doing for years that I don’t need to write down as goals. These things have become habits. They would not have become habits if I had not consistently made them a part of my life. I was determined to have these things be habits in my life.

So the purpose of goals is to accomplish some things, but it is also to develop habits.

 

My encouragement to you is to set goals. Make them doable goals. Remind yourself of these goals as often as you need reminding so you don’t forget. I wrote my goals down in my calendar this year. This way I can go over them and keep them fresh in my mind so I can accomplish them. On the days, you are tired and don’t feel like accomplishing your goals, keep the future in mind. You will happy you put aside the feelings of failure or apathy and took on the feeling of accomplishment through determination.

Be determined. Be motivated. Accomplish your goals every day. When you miss a day, don’t let that be what stops you from keeping on. Resolve to stay committed.

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Jesus paid the price. Will you believe what He says about you?

 

As we continue to look at our identity and who we are, we must look at a foundational principle. This foundation will not make us feel good about ourselves and there may be some who deny this fact about themselves, but it is true.

We are all sinners.

I know this fact does not make anyone feel better about themselves, but it is better to face the truth and know the truth rather than to live in a lie. So the truth is: we are all sinners. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Rom. 3:23).

Another important truth is that tere is a wage that must be paid for this sin.

When someone commits a crime, they must pay for it by going to trial and going to jail. So as sinners there is a payment that must be made. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Rom. 6:23).

The beauty of this verse is that there is a wage that must be paid, but Jesus paid that wage for us. “But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8). God loved the human race that He created so much, that He sent His Son to pay the penalty for our sin.

As I write this, I realize how much I take this for granted. I realize how much I don’t appreciate what God has done for me. Who am I to deserve what God has done for me? That is the amazing thing about God’s love for me…for us…we don’t deserve it.

Consider for a moment Osama bin Laden. He is a hardened terrorist who committed/coordinated many horrendous acts of murder around the world. What if rather than being killed in his compound, he was brought in to trial and found guilty of death or life in prison. At his sentencing of all these horrendous acts, someone stepped up and said that they would take his place. Who would do such a thing? He is one of the most notorious criminals of all time.

That is what Jesus did. He took my place.

Consider for a moment when Jesus was on the cross and the criminal next to Him asked, “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.” (Luke 23:42). Jesus answered him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43). As Jesus was dying, He was dying for this man’s sins. Jesus also was so selfless that he forgave this man at this moment. At the worst moment, Jesus was not thinking about Himself He was thinking about others. This is not the only example.

From the cross, Jesus made sure Mary was taken care of after His death as well. (John 19:25-27). As Jesus hung on the cross dying for our sins, He cared for the temporal and physical needs of His Mother.

Jesus loves each of us so much.

If Jesus loves us this much, we should want to get our identity from who Jesus says we are not who the world says we are. Yet, too often the world slowly and meticulously changes our thoughts and we begin to believe lies about ourselves rather than the truth about who God says we are.

Why do people believe these lies?

They don’t think they are good enough to be loved by God. The truth of the matter is none of us are good. We are all condemned and all deserve to die the worst death possible. We all deserve to be separated from God forever, but God sent His only Son into the world to redeem the world.

Our identity does not come from who or what the world says we are. Our identity comes from who God says we are.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments

It’s Not About What Others Say

I was in Sam’s renewing my membership and the cashier asked me for my identification. I handed her my driver’s license and that was what she needed to see that I was who I said I was. When we go to the airport and are screened by the TSA agent before going through the x-ray machine, they require our Identification and our boarding pass. They look at the picture on the id and they look at the individual to make sure they look the same. When I was at Sam’s or when any of us are at the airport, no one that is checking our identification looks to the person standing next to us to see if they corroborate with who we are. They also don’t look at who we are standing with to see if we are who we say we are. The TSA agent passes us on because our identification matches who we look like.

In life, though, how many of us get our identification from the wrong thing? We want a certain person or group of people to like us, because they are the cool kids, so we change our identity to match what they will like. We want those cool kids to see us as cool so we will be accepted and liked. We look at them as the TSA agents and want them to pass us through into coolness so we change our identities into something more hip and cool. It’s not who we really are, but we are hoping no one will notice and maybe as time goes by and our fake identity may become our new real identity.

Have you ever tried to be fake? First of all, it’s exhausting, and second of all someone is going to see through the fake to the real and then you’re in worse shape than you were before.

In this age of confusion over our identities, where do we look to gain who we are supposed to be? How do we not get confused or lost or even disillusioned? The real question is what is the source of our truth?

Our days in school as an elementary, Jr. High, High School, and college student so often impact our self- image or our identity. We get made fun of for our hair or our clothes or that idiosyncrasy we have. We get called stupid or goody too shoes or ugly. So many kids in school are poor and can barely afford clothes to wear to school so other kids make fun of them for this. So often as a young child our identity is stamped into our hearts and minds by all the circumstances of life.

Too often, the unkindness of others molds us into who we think we are. Rather than looking at our identification for who we really are, we look around at who everyone else says we are. The hurtful remarks of others damage our hearts and some have never recovered. They will forever see themselves as ugly or weird or stupid, and they will forever be trying to change that image of themselves.

Here is a truth that we all need to cling to and live by: God made each and every one of us unique and different. I used to tell our daughters all the time, “if you were all the same, I wouldn’t need 2 of you-we have 3 daughters.” God made us all different and unique for a reason.

If we are putting a puzzle together and every piece is cut the same with the same part of the picture on it, how well would the puzzle go together? If we were all fingers, who would pump the blood to us so we could get the oxygen we need.

The Bible is the only source of truth. So many other things change, but the Bible does not change. Who we are needs to be based on who God says we are, not on who everyone in the world says we are. The world and its opinions change, but God never changes. (Heb. 13:8). Look at clothing styles, hair styles, car styles, home décor…it all changes to what is the latest style.

God never changes! What He says about who you are will never change as long as you are His child.

When we board the plane, we feel safe that only those people on the plane are the ones who should be on the plane. There is also a feeling of safety and security when we see ourselves through the lens of Scripture and who God says we are.

You are who God says you are!

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments