The Seasons of Motherhood

Nov

2023

God’s Purpose Will Stand

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man,

But it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

Proverbs 19:21

My husband is a planner. Both of his parents are planners. My children are planners. They all have great satisfaction from putting together a plan, talking about the plan, and executing the plan. You never have to wonder what to expect when we go on vacation together or even when we will go on vacation. It is talked about well in advance of the actual vacation. All the plans are put into place way before the vacation happens. There is not a lot of fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants in our family. Plan are very important. The thought process is that the more that things are planned, the greater enjoyment there will be in the activity and everyone will know what to expect.

Planning so everyone knows what to expect and knows what to pack helps everyone to be prepared, but what happens when the activities don’t turn out quite how they were planned. What happens when the Lord has a different plan than what we did?

There are a few things to consider in this instance.

God is Sovereign.

The more we trust in the sovereignty of God the better we can handle the abrupt changes that may thwart our plans. James tells us in James 4:15 “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” We should make a plan, but always understand that God is ultimately in control of the outcome of our plans. He is the One that allows change to happen in our plans. It is His purpose or His will that will ultimately be fulfilled. It is not our purpose or will that will ultimately direct our days.

This thought should also be a comfort to us as we face various decisions in life. As we seek earnestly God’s will for our lives through His Word and prayer, we can be encouraged about our choices. If our choice goes against God’s Word, we know that this is not God’s will for our lives. God has given us many wise people that we can consult with when faced with a life altering decision: our parents, our pastor, or wise mentors.

At the end of the day, if we make a choice that does not go against God’s Word, but is not the “Purpose of the Lord” He is sovereign and can change the course of our lives. No experience that happens in our life will be wasted.

The circumstances of life reveals our hearts

Whenever we have a plan that does not turn out how we intended it to, God wants to use that detour of our plans to mold us to be more like Jesus. That circumstance or change of plans will be used by God to reveal what is in our hearts. When our plans do not go how we had intended, we are like a spilled glass. Whatever is in the glass will be what comes out. If we have water in our glass, water will come out. If we have selfish desires in our hearts, what will come out of our lives will be anger or despair.

Our selfish desires reveal that we are holding too tightly to our plans. Our selfish desires reveal that we know what is better for our lives, and we think that God’s plans are not the right plans.

It is hard to be “thankful in all circumstances” (I Thess. 5:18) when our perfectly laid plans are foiled, yet God says we are to be thankful in all circumstances. When we meet a foil in our plans with anger, resentment, despair, or anxiety we are in essence telling God that His plan for our lives is wrong.

So what is the answer? Plan in pencil.

Planning helps us to use our time wisely, but we must not hold so tightly to our plans that we get frustrated, angry, depressed or anxious when they do not go as we had anticipated.

God’s purposes will stand whether we want them to or not.

Nov

2023

What are you Acquiring?

“An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.”

Proverbs 18:15

I have been serving as a Certified Biblical Counselor for about 3 years now. God has allowed me the opportunity to serve Him through this ministry, and I have grown tremendously. I have said and will say again that even if my counselees do not change, I know that God has brought about change in my heart and life.

One of the things that I try to find out from counselees is what they are reading or listening to. Today, we don’t just listen to music we also listen to podcasts. We don’t just read books, we also listen to books. One of the greatest discoveries for me this year has been listening to books. The library has a wealth of books to listen to or to read the printed word on the page. These books can be checked out as physical books or as electronic books on an electronic device. There really is no reason why we do not read except that we do not prioritize it.

The reason I want to know what people are reading or listening to is because I want to know what is influencing them. What is influencing their thinking? What is impacting their actions or their words? We have all heard the phrase “garbage in, garbage out.” If we are not putting godly things into our brains, then we will not have godly thoughts, words, or actions come out. Every book that I read is not a “spiritual” book. I try to be careful that what I read or listen to would not go against the principles of God’s Word.

I just finished reading “A Shepherd’s Look at Psalms 23” by W. Phillip Keller and am currently listening to “Educated” by Tara Westover. The purpose of this post is not to give you a book report. What I want us to understand is that what we allow to enter our minds impacts our thoughts, words, and actions.

Our verse tells us that the wise acquire and seek knowledge. Why do they acquire and seek knowledge? So that they know better how to live. Wisdom comes from living out the correct knowledge and the Biblical principles that we know. It is one thing to have a wealth of knowledge, but quite another to live that knowledge out. It does no one any good to have a lot of book knowledge if they do not then translate that book knowledge into wise practice.

In “A Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23” we get a glimpse into Psalm 23 from the perspective of a shepherd. The author better understands the Psalm because he is a shepherd. He understands how to care for sheep because he has the factual knowledge and the experiential knowledge.

We gain knowledge and understanding by being inquisitive and by being humble enough to search the Scriptures for the answer, spending time in prayer to seek the Lord for His direction, and by asking others to help us understand what we don’t know.

When we ask questions, do we desire to learn or do we desire to show off how smart we are? The truly wise person seeks to understand from a point of humility not from a point of being a know-it-all.

It has been an exciting year for me this year as I have had the world opened up to me by the power of listening to books. What is it that you are seeking to acquire in the 24 hours each day that God has given you? Are you seeking to acquire knowledge to puff you up or to help you better serve our Lord by understanding the world around you?

Nov

2023

A Cool Spirit or a Hot Head

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge,

And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”

Proverbs 17:27

I just finished reading a book called “The Heart of Anger” by Lou Priolo. It is a very practical book for parents as they navigate the challenges of raising children. The challenge we as parents have in parenting is that we are proud and self-centered trying to rear a child that also is proud and self-centered. At the heart of this, there is a dire need for Christ, the Gospel, and the Bible.

If we do not see our need for a Savior, the Gospel, the Bible, and the assistance of the Holy Spirit we will be woefully lacking in our ability to raise children that are God fearing and respectful people.

Our verse from Proverbs is an outflow of a person that is dependent on Christ, the Gospel, the Bible, and the assistance of the Holy Spirit. We cannot hope to have a cool spirit with restrained words, if we try to do this alone. Eventually, we will be like the volcano who ruptures and spews forth angry words of lava under all the pressure that is built up.

What must we do to keep our cool? This verse tells us we must have knowledge and be a man/woman of understanding. This tells me that we must be a thinking people rather than emotional reactive people. In so many situations that occur, we react rather than act. When we react, we allow our emotions to “drive the train” of our actions. When we act, we allow our biblically sanctified thoughts to “drive the train.”

Be in the Word and in prayer daily

We must daily be in the Word and in prayer, so that we can “renew our minds.” (Rom. 12:2) if we are thinking thoughts that are godly we will be able to have a godly action in the midst of the circumstance. What drives us to react with our emotions is our pride and selfishness. We feel like someone is threatening what we want, what we desire. If we angrily lash out at someone for something they say or do, or we inwardly seethe with distaste for the other person because of their words or actions then we know that we have acted out of selfishness and pride.

We need the Bible and prayer to daily biblically inform us of the kind of people that we are. We need the Bible and prayer to help us daily “Prepare our minds for action.” (I Peter 1:13).

Evaluate your words, your tone, and your volume

“…he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.” (Prov. 17:27). The cool spirited person knows what Scripture says about his speech. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Prov. 15:1). This cool spirited person knows that it is sin to speak in a way that is not gentle, raises their voice, and inflicts verbal harm to their listener. This cool spirited man/woman does not let his pride/self-centeredness get in the way of the conversation, but rather seeks to understand the other person. This cool spirited person knows that blowing up or sulking during the conversation does not solve the problem, but rather escalates the problem.

Seek to understand the other person not control them

If we blow up or sulk in the midst of the conversation, we are trying to control the other person or the situation so that we can get what we want. We are willing to sacrifice honoring God in this relationship on the altar of the idols of our hearts. We so desperately want what we want, that we are willing to yell, say unkind words, or sulk so that our idol can be worshipped. We are willing to sacrifice the relationship, so that we can satisfy our desire for control. If we desire to glorify God and represent Him well to all that we come in contact with, we will seek to understand them and what is happening in their hearts. The cool person’s desire is not to get what they want, but rather to glorify God.

Glorify God and represent Him well

The other person may very well not be happy with us and what we did or what we said. We must evaluate our hearts and our motives and see if there is a “log in our eye” (Mt. 7:3) that must be removed. Then we must evaluate the “speck” (Mt. 7:3) that is in our friend’s eye. None of this can be done if we do not have a cool spirit.

It is easy to be a “Hot-tempered” (Prov. 29:22) person. The cool spirited person seeks to understand other people. Why does the cool spirited man want to understand others? He wants to glorify God. How does He keep a cool spirit? The cool spirited person knows that s/he needs Jesus, the Gospel, the bible, the Holy Spirit, and to deny themselves. We cannot be cool spirited if we do not deny ourselves.

The next time you encounter a disagreement with another person, remember that the cool spirited person comes from a desire to understand the other person, not to be understood. In order to do this, we must deny ourselves.

Oct

2023

Who Do You Worship?

“The crucible is for silver and the furnace is for gold,

And the Lord tests the hearts.”

Proverbs 17:3

We live in a day of imitation and knock-offs. I saw my daughter last week-end and she had a bag that said “The Tote Bag” on it. I asked her what the story was behind it. She doesn’t normally carry a bag around with her. She said that it was the in thing now. She did admit that hers was an imitation because it didn’t have the designer’s name on it.

How do we know if something is imitation or a knock-off? There is usually something that will give us a clue that something is not the genuine thing. Our verse from Proverbs starts out by helping us to understand how we can identify pure silver and pure gold. It has to go through a test. The test is fire.

The crucible is a vessel in a refining fire, a place where precious substances are tested, purified, and strengthened. The silver is tested in the fire to see if it truly is silver, and then as the silver is heated all of the impurities are melted out of the pure silver. The same thing happens for gold. As the gold is heated, the impurities are melted off and all that is left is the gold.

Our lives are no different. We all experience trials, challenges, difficulties, circumstances, events, or a stimuli in our lives. God allows these events to happen in our lives reveal what is in our hearts. These trials are meant to test us to see what is truly in our hearts.

There are really only 2 responses in our lives when a circumstance happens. There may seem to be a wide variety of responses, but in the end each and every response boils down to 2 different responses.

We worship God and trust in His sovereignty. When we do this we will experience peace, hope, and joy even though we don’t understand what is happening because we are trusting in God’s perfect plan. As the trials are happening in our lives and we choose to trust God, the things in our lives that are not important or that are getting in the way of us worshipping God will slowly come to the surface and we can choose to surrender those to God so that we are more like Christ or we can choose to hold onto those things, which would put us into the 2^nd
We worship ourselves. Now I know that no one would ever say that they worship themselves. That would be preposterous. We might say of someone else though that they are proud or selfish. Who do you think they are worshipping as a proud and selfish person? What does this look like in the crucible, the test, the furnace, the fire, the challenge, the trial? The person may say or think things like, “What did I do to deserve this?” “This isn’t fair.” “What was God thinking?” These people become devastated by the tests that come into their lives. They can’t get out of bed because life just isn’t fair. They can’t do their normal daily responsibilities of life because they are so distraught by the trial in their lives. They are so self-focused that every little thing in life that happens pushes them over the edge. They are depressed or anxious or full of fear or angry because the trial that came into their life is not how they planned their life, and this thing is out of their control. This test that God sent is revealing exactly what is in the person’s heart. It is revealing who they worship.

So there question is who are you worshipping? If you are not sure who you are worshipping, check your responses to the trials that happen in your life. Do you become angry, depressed, anxious, or full of fear when life gets hard? Or do you seek the Lord in the midst of a trial and trust in His providential care over your life, no matter how hard the test is?

Is it wrong to go to the Lord and pour out your heart to Him when life gets hard? No, it isn’t. We need to walk in faith and trust in God, not in doubt, fear, anger, despair or anxiety.

Who do you worship? As you go through trials, the genuineness of your faith will be revealed and demonstrate who you are worshipping. What does the crucible reveal about the genuineness of your worship?

Oct

2023

A Spoonful of Sugar

“The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.

Good sense is a fountain of life to him who has it, but instruction of fools is folly.

The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious, and adds persuasiveness to his lips.

Gracious words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”

Proverbs 16:21-24

As I read these verses I am reminded of Mary Poppins and her song, “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.” Can you hear her singing the song in your head? When my kids were young and they needed to take medicine, it usually contained a lot of sugar. They didn’t mind taking it because it tasted good. The pharmacy or doctor’s office would ask what flavor they wanted their medicine to be. It seems like we always picked bubble gum.

Medicine that was necessary for my children’s health and well-being so that they could heal from whatever it was that ailed them, was made more palatable by the sweetness that was added to the medicine. Hence, Mary Poppins’ song, “A spoonful of sugar.”

How many times have you had something that needed to be said and instead of couching what was said with some sugar were just blunt and said what needed to be said. How did it go over? I can tell you from my firsthand experience that it didn’t go over well. If we were sitting together over a cup of tea (my beverage of choice), I think you would say the same thing.

So often we have the ability to see the blind spots of others, but we miss the opportunity to speak real truth into someone’s life because our words are not sweet, judicious, or gracious. What we say is not wrong but rather how we say it is. I must say I regret many modes of how I have communicated even though the message was not a wrong message.

Do you have a blind spot when you drive? I had a car that had a blind spot. I knew it was there and so I made sure that I was very aware when I was driving of that blind spot.

So often in our lives we have blind spots that need a parent, a spouse, a friend, a mentor, etc. to speak truth into our lives. The problem is that we may not like their method of communication because it lacks sweetness, judiciousness, or graciousness. Does that mean we should discount them because of their lack of sweetness? No. Does this mean that if we have the opportunity to speak truth into another’s life that we can say whatever we want however we want? NO!

I have the opportunity to be with the teens on Wednesday nights at church. Last Wednesday, I was struggling with a craft that everyone else was doing. After a while of struggling, I finally accomplished the craft only to find out that I still did it wrong. I started laughing at myself. One of the teens said, “Mrs. Dykema, I don’t think I have ever heard you laugh.” That really struck me. I was glad she felt comfortable enough to share that with me, and I hope that this year I laugh more.

When a truth must be shared with someone, what do we do?

Spend time in prayer. Pray and talk to the Lord about what needs to be said and ask Him to give you wisdom in how to say what needs to be said.
Check your motives. The purpose of speaking to another about something we have noticed is to help the other person. Be sure that your motives are pure and directed at helping the other person become more like Christ and not meant to satisfy your own selfish desires.
Do you really have the other person’s best interest at heart? Too often we want our selfish desires met. If you are seeking to represent the Lord well in front of the other person, and you want the other person to grow in Christ then what comes out of your mouth should be sweet, judicious, and gracious.
Be sure to reassure the other person that you love them and you want what is best for them. We must communicate these thoughts with the other person and then make sure that what we say reinforces this.
Practice what you are going to say with a trustworthy person. Let them give you feedback on what you plan to say and how you plan to say it. They may also give you some things that the other person might say so you can be ready to continue speaking in a way that is sweet, judicious, and gracious. Too often if what we have to say is not well received, we get defensive and the sweetness and good intentions goes right out the window.
Be courageous. It takes courage to say something that may cause offense to another and those words that were said may cause a break in a relationship. The other person does not want to hear what we have to say. I often liken this to crossing the street. We would never think twice if someone was going to cross the street and get hit by a car to tell them that a car was coming and they are going to get hit. We might even yell to get their attention, but the life we saved would not be mad at us for yelling. They would be grateful that we saved their life. Matters of life and decisions that are made are often not received as well so it takes courage. Again, do we truly love the other person? If we do, then we must have courage to speak up knowing the risk we are taking. Yet knowing, that what we say may bring about in the other person’s life some changes that will bring about for them things they didn’t know they were missing out on or needing. Speaking up may save them from self-destruction or terrible consequences.

I wish I could go back and say what I wanted to say in a way that communicated nothing but sweetness, judiciousness, graciousness, and love. Maybe the message would have been better received. We all have blind spots and it takes a trusted person to help us see those blind spots. In order to see our blind spots, we must be humble.

I pray that my response would always be one of sweetness, judiciousness, graciousness, love, and humility.

Sep

2023

Commit, Plan, Hold Loosely

“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord established his steps.”

Proverbs 16:3, 9

Work is a good thing. God gave us the example of work and rest in Genesis 1, 2. Both are equally important in the lives of all. God worked when He created the world, and then on the 7^th day He rested.

In our society today, we tend to think of work as a bad thing, maybe a necessary evil. We see no hint of complaint on the part of God when he created the world, and we see no grudging comments when He rested. (God didn’t need to rest, but He did so as an example to us.)

Genesis 3 is when we see work distorted by sin. Work is now harder because of the sin of mankind. “Cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread.” (Gen. 3:17-19).

Just because work is now more painful because of sin and it causes us to sweat, does not mean it should be a drudgery. Sin does not make our work easier, but God makes a way for our work to be enjoyable.

1.Commit

Proverbs 16:3 gives us a clue as to how we are to enjoy our work. No matter what we do, whether we collect garbage, are a welder, work as a secretary, have an office job, or care for those who are injured and ill, we can enjoy our work. Proverbs 16:3 says to “commit our work to the Lord.” God gave us our work to do and we must then turn around and commit it to Him.

Too often we struggle with the age old question, “what will I do when I grow up?” There is no place in Scripture that says we must do a certain occupation. God has given us all different talents and abilities and we should us those talents and abilities to honor Him. No matter what we do, if we seek to glorify God in that job and seek to serve those who we work with and for, then we are fulfilling our purpose in life.

Too often we get bogged down with the question of what we will do with our lives and what profession we will embark on or what job we will do. God does not dictate that we do a certain job. He does ask us to commit our work unto Him.

2. Plan

1^st we must commit our work, whatever it is, to the Lord. 2^nd we must plan. Have you ever tried to accomplish a task with and then without a plan? The more things I have to get done in a day, the more I plan. The less things I have to get done in a day, the less I plan. Usually, the days I have a plan, I accomplish much. The days that there is no plan, I accomplish little.

“For God is not a God of confusion/disorder, but a God of peace.” (I Cor. 14:33). God is a God of planning and order. We see this in Creation as God created the world in an orderly way. He did not make the animals before the plants. He did not make the plants before He created the sun. There was an order to Creation because of the dependency of one upon the other. Chaos did not ensue until the fall.

Just as God created the world according to a perfect plan, so we must plan our lives and our days so that we can accomplish much and live by order not chaos. If there is no plan, and we “fly by the seat of our pants” our days will be chaotic and not accomplish much.

3. hold Loosely

3^rd we must hold our plans loosely. Whatever we do, we must know that God may interrupt the plans that we have. If we plan a picnic and it rains, we must trust that God had a plan. If we get hurt on the job through no fault of our own, we must trust that God had a plan.

We must plan, but hold loosely to the plans. If we hold to those plans so tightly and they do not go as we had planned, we may experience anger, depression, fear, anxiety, etc. If we begin to experience these emotions, we know that our thoughts have taken us captive and caused us to think that the world should revolve around us. Things should go according to our plans, not according to God’s plans.

The more we worship God and seek Him and desire to commit our work to the Lord, rather than have our work committed to us, the more we will evidence the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives.

Commit your work to the Lord. Make a plan, but hold to it loosely. God’s ways are always better than our ways, if we are fully committed to God’s ways.

Sep

2023

Wisdom brings Success

Proverbs 15:5 “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent”

Proverbs 15:10 “There is severe discipline for him who forsakes the way; whoever hates reproof will die.”

Proverbs 15:12 “A scoffer does not like to be reproved; he will not go to the wise.”

Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Proverbs 15:31 “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.”

Proverbs 15:32 “Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.”

Proverbs 15:33 “The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.”

Proverbs 15 has six verses that focus on the importance and the value in listening to those that are wise. There is much to be gained from those that are willing to not just listen but to also seek out those who are wise.

Before we delve into the negative aspects of those that do not want to listen. Let’s look at the positive parts of these verses and understand what makes someone wise. Why is it that anyone should listen to someone else?

Proverbs 15:33 gives us some clues into what makes a person worth listening to.

First, the wise person fears the Lord. This fear of the Lord does not mean that the person is afraid of God, rather this person respects God. This person knows that the best answers to any of life’s problems, issues, or trials will be found in the Lord. They also recognize the sovereignty of God knowing that whatever happens in life they do not blame God for it but rather thank God that nothing is out of His control and trusting that whatever happens in life God has a plan and will use the events to help us to grow.

Another aspect of fearing the Lord is worshipping God alone. We live in a culture that does not want to worship God but rather worship any number of other things or people. Too often the things that we worship are not as easy to recognize or get rid of as the idols that are written about in the Old Testament. In the Old Testament, the people would trust in a statue to bring them rain, peace, prosperity, children, etc. When they decided to trust in God for these things rather than an idol/a statue they would smash the idols. Today, we do not set up a statue and look to it to bring us peace, hope, happiness, satisfaction, approval/attention, comfort/ease of life, security, or love. Rather, we look at any number of things or people to bring us these things. When we do not get what we want to provide us what we think we deserve we begin to experience fear, anxiety, depression, anger, or panic. We try to control all the situations that we can so that our felt needs are met. We have set up these things: peace, hope, happiness, satisfaction, approval/attention, comfort/ease of life, security, or love, as the idols in our lives. Only, they are not as easily torn down and smashed into pieces as the idols of the Old Testament.

When we worship these idols, we cannot fear the Lord. The wise seek to first and foremost worship God alone.

Second, the wise person is humble. This wise person understands that in order to fear God they must be humble. They must be willing to admit that God and His Word has all the answers in life. The humble person realizes that the only true satisfaction, peace, hope, joy, or love will come from God.

Third, because the wise person is humble, they will receive honor. A proud person demands others to honor them so they seek to control all situations so that they can be honored. A humble person never demands honor, but receives honor because of their humility. They have a gentle and quiet spirit and a soft inner strength that is honorable. This softness and gentleness never demands to be respected and honored, but they are easy to respect and honor because their gentleness is what makes them great.

The converse of the wise person is the foolish scoffer. The foolish scoffer does not fear the Lord. The foolish scoffer looks to their idols to have their needs met. They want to control all situations in life so that their needs can be met. The more they can control the situation or the other people in their lives the better chance they have at getting their felt needs met.

The foolish scoffer cannot fear God and trust God because then they would not be in control, but would have to choose to submit to God’s control and God’s sovereignty. Looking to the Bible for direction in life and seeking the wisdom of those that are wiser such as parents, those in authority, Pastors, etc.; would cause the foolish scoffer to admit that they cannot control all situations in life. To admit this would mean that they would have to humble themselves. They would have to surrender their pride and their control.

The foolish scoffer does not receive honor because they are due honor, but because they demand honor. However, this honor is not given willingly, but is rather forced from others. We see this in a domineering father or husband. He demands that situations go according to his plans, and when they do not, they get angry and yell. Lest we think it is only men that are like this, we women will attempt to control situations also by yelling or by crying and sobbing.

So the question is where do we fall? Are we wise and fear the Lord or are we foolish scoffers that close our ears in foolish pride because the only right way is our way?

Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

With many advisers our plans will succeed. Do we only seek the advice of those that will tell us what we want to hear, or are we willing to seek the advice of those that may give us a different opinion?

Proverbs is replete with instruction for children to listen to their parents. I know that this is not always the best as there are many parents that also do not seek out wise counsel and the way they live their life demonstrates a lack of fearing the Lord. However, there are many wise parents out there. Many parents who are seeking to make wise choices in how they raise their children and how they interact with their children. These parents willingly admit their mistakes and try to live a life that glorifies the Lord. Our parents should be part of our “advisory council.”

If you do not know if you are the wise or the foolish person, look at your life and ask those that are closest to you. Do you seek to control all situations, knocking over whoever may be in your way of you getting what you want? Are you willing to listen to those that are wise, humble, and honored?

Psalm 18:35 “…Your gentleness made me great.” Those that are wise will exemplify our Lord and be gentle in their speech and in their actions. In their gentle way of living life, they do not seek to live life for their own pleasure but seek to glorify God and serve others.

The converse of this is Proverbs 15:12 “A scoffer does not like to be reproved; he will not go to the wise.” They live and speak harshly seeking to have others serve them. They are seeking to glorify themselves.

Are you wise or a foolish scoffer? The evidence is in your life.

Aug

2023

Life or Brokenness

“A soft answer turns away wrath,

But a harsh word stirs up anger.

The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,

But the mouths of fools pour out folly.

A gentle tongue is a tree of life,

But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

Proverbs 15:1, 2, 4

The tongue is often the topic of Proverbs. Proverbs 15 starts off reminding us that the tongue is a powerful instrument. James likens the tongue in Chapter 3 to a horse’s bridle, a ship’s rudder, and a fire. These things seem so small and yet they are powerful instruments. A horse’s bridle weighs about 2 pounds, and a horse weighs 900 to 1200 pounds. A ship’s rudder is about 1/100 the size of the boat. A fire starts with just a spark, but can cause catastrophic damage.

Small things that control big things.

The tongue is about 3 inches. Yet, its power is great. James says the tongue is as powerful as a bridle, a rudder, and a fire. Proverbs says that the tongue can turn away wrath, stir up anger, break a spirit, or be like a tree of life. The tongue has great power.

The tongue does not have a mind and a will of its own. Rather, a tongue only does what our brain and our hearts tells it to do. If we are eating an ice cream cone, our brains tell our tongues to lick. If our brain is telling our tongues to speak words of kindness or harsh words, then that is what will come out.

The tongue is a vehicle or an instrument that is controlled by our brains. Let’s see what Jesus had to say about this topic.

“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45).

If you ever wonder what is in someone’s heart, listen to what they say. If you ever wonder what a person values, listen to their words. Our verses in Proverbs tell us though that we should not just listen to their words, but we must also listen to how they say their words. What is the tone of voice that is used in spilling forth words?

Will Jesus hold us accountable for not just our words, but also for our tone of voice when we say the words? It seems like our Proverbs verse would say, “Yes.”

Have you had a conversation with someone and what you heard and what their tone said did not match? Which will you more likely believe? The words or the tone? I think we would all agree that we would listen to the tone of a person’s voice along with their words, but hold with more weight their tone. Have you ever been dismissed by someone when you asked them, “Why are you so angry?” And their reply to you was, “I’m not angry.” Yet, their tone would indicate otherwise.

Our tongues hold great power not just with what we say, but also with how we say it. Our tongues can do great harm and also provide great healing.

Our tongue betrays our desires. Our tongues are a window to what our hearts are wanting. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. The tongue is the window to your desires, to your heart, to what you worship. If you are worshipping what you want, then your tongue and the tone of voice you use to express your thoughts will betray what you are worshipping.

In the midst of a heated argument with another person, are you really interested in what the other person has to say and what they want? Or are you interested in what you want and how you can get your way and your point across? As we verbally assault each other, we show how foolish we are and we break the other person’s spirit or others that may be verbal casualties to our knock down drag out tongue thrashing.

The Bible is so clear in helping us to see what our sin does to other people. It also helps us to see what our sin does to us.

Have you been guilty of speaking in a way that leaves verbal casualties in your wake? Have you ever thought that “they will get over it?” It’s in the past and I don’t need to seek forgiveness for what I have said or how I have said it. Proverbs 15:4 says that our tongues can break a spirit. If we break a window with our ball, do we need to seek restitution? Then why do we think that our words or our tones don’t need to be forgiven?

How many people are carrying around a great weight of grief and pain over words that have been spoken in a tone that was not gentle? Those words and those tones are a weight. Confession and seeking forgiveness goes a long way at bringing restoration to relationships. Broken relationships bring great pain to everyone involved. These broken relationships were caused by a careless tongue, but a gentle tongue could restore that relationship and cause it to grow and flourish like a tree of life.

As one of the Pastors in my life said, “It’s always your turn.” In other words, if you have caused harm to another because of your words or your tone, go ask for forgiveness and bring healing to that relationship. If you have been harmed by another’s words or tone, go and let them know the pain they have caused you. Maybe they don’t even know the pain they have caused.

Will your tongue bring life or brokenness?

Aug

2023

All Clear

“In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence,

And his children will have a refuge.

The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life,

That one may turn away from the snares of death.”

Proverbs 14:26, 27

As a child our first introduction to being afraid is often times related to their being monsters under our bed or in the basement. How many siblings have sent their siblings before them to check and see if there were monsters hiding in the closet or going to jump out at them when they went into the basement? I know my girls did thisJ Now as adults, we may have something that we are afraid of though we may not verbalize what that exactly is or may not even be aware of that thing we are fearful of.

These verses referring to the “fear of the Lord” is not telling us that when we are afraid of God we will have confidence. Those two thoughts seem to be an oxymoron of sorts. When we are afraid we will have confidence. Usually, when we are afraid we lack confidence. Remember the sibling sending their sibling in to check under the bed, in the closet, or down the basement stairs to check to make sure it was safe? There was no confidence in what could have been only confidence in the “all clear” from the sibling.

The “fear of the Lord” means to reverence or hold the Lord in the highest of esteem. So we might ask ourselves how holding the Lord in the highest of esteem will produce confidence in our lives. Let’s go back to the example of my daughters. The one who was afraid had confidence in the one who gave the “all clear.” She trusted in what her sister told her. She had faith in the words of the sister who declared “all was clear.”

So we can have confidence in life if we trust in the Lord and follow His commands. Do we live by the principles that He has given to us in His Word, or do we live how we think we ought to live?

As we live out our lives daily following the principles that God has given us in His Word, we will have confidence. When we choose to live life adverse to the principles in God’s Word, we will live in fear.

Our next verse likens the fear of the Lord to a fountain. Have you ever been so thirsty and all you could think about was a cool glass of refreshing water? When we fear the Lord, we are satiating the desires that our heart is seeking for satisfaction. We think that if we obey the Lord then we cannot have what we want and our needs will not be met. When we believe this, we are believing a lie. God is our Creator and who better to tell us what we need and how to live then our Creator.

Have you ever put something together or gotten out the operator’s manual so you knew how to put that thing together or how to operate your new gadget? We may even watch a YouTube video so we better know how to operate our new gadget or put together our new item. One wouldn’t look at the instructions for a highchair when you are trying to put together a crib. Each has it’s own individual instruction manual. So it is when we try to live life without looking at what God’s Word says in how we are to live. When we try to do things our own way and not follow after God’s way of doing things, we will lack confidence and our thirst will never be quenched.

When we fear God, we want to know what God says about how we are to live life so we can have confidence in living. Wouldn’t you rather get the “all clear” from God who made you in His Image rather than something else that will lead you astray?

Fearing God takes trust that He is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. So it took my daughters trusting in their siblings that when they said it was “all clear” it really was “all clear.” I never did hear anybody screaming through my house that there was something scary in the closet, under the bed, or in the basement. The coast was always clear.

Aug

2023

Simple or Prudent? Wise or Foolish?

The simple believes everything,

But the prudent gives thought to his steps.

One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil,

But a fool is reckless and careless.”

Proverbs 14:15, 16

We all have many choices and decisions that we make throughout our days. Many of these decisions that we make are made without much conscious thought. The choices that we make daily without conscious thought have become habits in our lives. There are many books written on developing good habits, but the basis of many of our choices are based on habit. My husband gets up for work at the same time every day, walks on the treadmill, takes a shower, has a glass of OJ, and heads to work. He no longer gives a lot of thought to these activities because they have become habits in his life.

We all know the people that have habits that we would consider reckless and careless: poor diet choices, poor entertainment choices, no exercise choice, poor relationship choices, etc.

Our verses from Proverbs today start and end with the simple and the fool. The simple person is someone who is gullible. They are easily led astray usually by their desires. They think that if the desires of their heart are met they will find peace, satisfaction, and happiness. They hope that the infomercial about the next great weight loss pill will solve all of their weight struggles. They believe anything that anyone tells them and think that what they are told will meet all their needs.

This simple, gullible person is easily led astray. They are taken advantage of often and those that are manipulators love this simple gullible person. The manipulator will have a follower in the simple. The simple will have someone who they think “cares” for them. Only too often, the manipulator is taking advantage of the simple.

In order to not be simple and not be gullible, we must seek to surround ourselves with those that are prudent and wise. We must consider the end result of the decision we are deciding to make. Will this thing that I buy actually give the promised results? If I eat this extra scoop of ice cream, am I making a healthy wise choice? If I spend time watching TV, playing this video game, or scrolling through social media am I using my time wisely when there are many chores that need to be done?

The prudent and the wise person thinks before acting and decides if the choice they are making will produce God honoring results or results that are fleeting. So many people are seeking happiness, satisfaction, and having their needs met only to find out that the temporal things they are seeking to satisfy these needs will never give to them what they had hoped. The wise and prudent person sees and understands this. The wise and prudent person understands that God and a relationship with Jesus is the only thing that will satisfy. The wise and prudent person understands that the Bible is the manual for how to live life, not their fleeting desires.

The fool is reckless and careless because they think that the fleeting desires they have will be satisfied by temporal things. Look at the lives of the rich and the famous. They seem to have all that the world has to offer – fame, fortune, and power – yet they are usually looking for more. Drugs, alcohol, illicit relationships, and possessions are what they keep turning to thinking that what is around the corner will satisfy. Yet, it never does.

Spend some time evaluating your life. What are your habits? Are you spending time in God’s Word each day seeking to live according to God’s standard for joy? Or are you known to frequent some external pleasure to provide the satisfaction you are looking for, only to be let down one more time because “it” did not satisfy?

Are you simple or prudent? Wise or foolish?

The Seasons of Motherhood

God’s Purpose Will Stand

God is Sovereign.

The circumstances of life reveals our hearts

What are you Acquiring?

A Cool Spirit or a Hot Head

Be in the Word and in prayer daily

Evaluate your words, your tone, and your volume

Seek to understand the other person not control them

Glorify God and represent Him well

Who Do You Worship?

A Spoonful of Sugar