The Seasons of Motherhood

28
Nov
2019

Thanksgiving 2019

All is quiet this Thanksgiving morning. The fire is crackling in the fireplace. Upstairs a newlywed couple sleeps and two exhausted college students. My husband is still sleeping in our bedroom. I just received word yesterday that my sweet Future Leader Dog Millie has moved on to the final stage of training at Leader Dogs for the Blind, and if she passes this one she will be matched with a blind person. My heart is full of Thanksgiving.

The truth is, though, I am not always thankful. Do you ever catch yourself grumbling and complaining about anything and everything? I have been convicted this last week about how much I complain. The opposite of complaining and being ungrateful is contentment and thankfulness. Everything in life does not have to be perfect in order to be thankful. Actually, our life should be more about our attitude toward life than what actually happens.

As I have been reflecting on this concept and my ungrateful heart attitude, I have been trying to notice the things that come out of my mouth more. I have been thanking God for the things that previously I was grumbling about.

Honestly, I have nothing to ungrateful for. I have a house full of my favorite people. Good news about my favorite dog. A job that offers a lot of flexibility. A wonderful husband who takes such good care of me. A reliable car. Today, we have internet that works again. Most importantly, I have a God who loves me and sent His only Son to redeem me, pay for my sins by dying on the cross for me, and He still loves me with my ungrateful heart.

As I was taking care of one of my patients yesterday with these thoughts present on my heart and mind, I tried to help her to see the other side of her coin. Yes, she had some things to be ungrateful for, but I tried to help her see that she had something to be thankful for. As we worked together and she would start to complain, I would redirect her thoughts to something to be thankful for. By the time I left her, she had a smile for me that was genuine and sincere. Life is funny that way isn’t it?

Our attitudes can be contagious.

We all have something we can grumble and complain about. When we do it puts us in a category of very ugly people according to Scripture. “For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to parents, UNGRATEFUL, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying it power. Avoid such people.”  (II Tim. 3:2-5).

God told us through the pen of Timothy to avoid such people.

It’s easy on Thanksgiving to think of all the things we are thankful for, but Thanksgiving should be something we should do every day. Every day, there are many things to be thankful for.

I am thankful that all of our children wanted to come home and spend Thanksgiving with their parents. What a blessing that is to my heart. Most of all, I am thankful for a God who loves me all the time every day. Even on the days when I am ungrateful.

Happy Thanksgiving! From my precious family to yours!

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 4 comments
20
Nov
2019

The Truth about Our Identity

There seems to be quite a bit of confusion these days on an individual’s identity. According to Merriam Webster, identity is “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.” We could call this a vague and even secular definition to our identity.

As a Christian, our identity must be viewed differently. According to Sam Allberry, “As a Christian, one of the key things for me is realizing that identity as Christians is not something that we discover in ourselves, nor is it something we create. It’s something we receive and are given by the only person who can know our actual identity, which is the God who made us. So my identity as a Christian comes from the fact that I’ve been created by God and redeemed by him through the saving work of Jesus.”

If only we could get this message out to the world and they would understand it and apply it to themselves. Too often people are searching for who they are. They are looking inside themselves to figure out who they are. This thinking is skewed by our sinful nature for who we are is not determined by what is inside of us, but by what God says about who we are.

It is so easy to be swayed by our feelings. They can be rascally creatures. They change and sometimes are not based on reason, but rather on misconstrued “facts.” The Bible speaks to this in Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, who can know it?” Our hearts can so easily deceive us, and with deception comes an instability. The antonym or opposite of deceit is truth or honesty.

If our hearts are full of untruth or deceit, than we must have something that we can turn to that is full of truth. That is God and His Word. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Heb. 13:8). In other words, Jesus never changes. While Jesus was on the earth, He said “sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (John 17:17). As Christians, we are set apart by truth, and the best place actually the only place to find truth is in the Bible.

When an individual looks to themselves to find truth, they will get deceit. When an individual looks to God’s Word for truth, they will get truth.

Our world seems to be spiraling out of control in regards to our identity as humans and where this identity comes from. This stems from a lack of knowledge and confusion on where their identity comes from. It also comes from a disregard for God and His Word.

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (I Cor. 14:33). Since God does not author confusion, we know that this comes from the enemy. When a person is confused about who they are, it is the work of the enemy, Satan, not the work of God.

As parents, it is extremely important to give our children and any other children we may be working with a firm foundation of who they are according to God and His Word. We will explore these topics in future blogs. It is important to establish a basis of truth with our children. The enemy will attack them. He will seek to destroy them in whatever way possible. It always starts very small and in a very insignificant way, so as parents we must be on guard to protect our children and their hearts.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
13
Nov
2019

Image Bearers

As a parent, it seems that there were and still are times that the weight of being a parent and all of its responsibilities are very heavy. At times, the breadth of all our daughters needed to learn seemed almost overwhelming and there did not seem to be enough time with them under our roof for me to teach them all they needed to learn. I don’t know if there is any parent that ever feels like they taught their children everything they could have. There are so many ways that we can teach them, but it is most usually through our words and our actions that we teach them the most.

More is caught than taught

This phrase has been around for a long time, and is so true when we watch other people’s children. I have seen insecure moms produce insecure children. When we listen to how the mom talks, and then we listen to how the children talk-it sounds the same.  The mom who is always putting herself down produces a child that is always putting herself down. The same could be said for the dad who always talks about cars and sports. What is talked about by the parents is often what the children spend a lot of their time talking about. What the parents value, the children also value.

It is important as a parent to help our children have a proper view of themselves. Who they are? Where do they get their identity? How should this identity affect who they are and how should this affect their lives?

The Image of God

It is important to start out by understanding and teaching our children that we are all made in the image of God.

“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him,                            male and female He created them” (Gen. 1:27).

In order to teach them about being made in the image of God, we must first teach them about who God is. We see God in Genesis 1 as creative. God created the world out of nothing. Every molecule that ever was and is was created by God. The intricacies of the planets, the stars, and the sun all shout the creativity of God. The cycle of weather, the change of seasons, and gravity all point to the creativity and the matchless intellect of our God. The workings of human bodies have not yet been fully grasped by our human intellect and yet God made all of this out of nothing. There was nothing to model His creation after, He created it out of nothing. (ex nihilo).

But God did have a model for mankind, and that was Himself. God made mankind in “His image.” Since God is creative, we as human beings are also creative. A dog cannot paint a picture as magnificently as Leonardo da Vinci. Nor can a monkey understand how electricity works and make the light bulb like Thomas Edison. Mankind is creative and intellectual. We can learn. We can love. We can reason.

We get these magnificent qualities because we are made in the image of God.

Who are we?

As parents it is important that we appreciate who we are: made in God’s image. We are made with creativity, language, intellect, reason, ability to love, and the ability to learn. As parents, we must teach our children the value of being made in God’s image. Not only must we appreciate this value, we must understand that with this value of being God’s image bearers, we have an unmistakable identity.

Our Identity

Oftentimes on Facebook, my oldest daughter gets mistakenly tagged as me. When she has done a fun activity with her friends and they post pictures, Facebook will inadvertently tag me in the photo rather than her. There must be enough similarities in our face structure for Facebook to think that I am her. She has also been asked, “Are you Danna’s daughter?” by someone she does not know. We look that much alike.

So it is with us as humans. We are made in the image of God. No matter how many people want to claim to be atheist or believe that God has nothing to do with their lives, they cannot get away from the fact that they are made in the image of God and His image is stamped all over them.

Do we embrace this identity of being image bearers of our God? Do we take pride in being image bearers? Do our children value this fact and understand the impact it needs to make on their lives? Do we as parents value this fact and understand the impact it needs to make on our lives?

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments
30
Oct
2019

Where are your eyes?

As a Mom, there are so many different places we need to keep focused. We watch our children grow through different stages, and as they do they need us to focus on different things. We must keep our eyes on a myriad of things. As babies, we make sure they get enough sleep, enough to eat, stay healthy, stay warm or cool, get enough stimulation but not too much.

Then they start moving. First, they are rolling over, then scooting, then crawling, and then very proudly walking. It was so nice in those early days of motherhood to set the baby down and know that when we looked back at them, they were still in the same spot. Once they start moving, we gain eyes in the back of our heads. If we did not, there would sure be many more accidents. Those eyes in the back of our heads are certainly a unique and necessary feature for every mom.

I believe another very important place for us as moms to keep our eyes is on the Lord. II Chronicles 20 talks about Jehoshaphat’s prayer to the Lord when he was threatened by more than one nation coming against him and the children of Israel. There was an invasion of more than one enemy coming against Israel and Jehoshaphat cried out to the Lord, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (II Chron. 20:12).

I don’t know about you, but I have been at this place in my life more than once. I did not know what to do.

It seems there are only 2 choices. Have our eyes on the Lord or not.

In the midst of the crises, in the mist of the storm, in the midst of the peace after the storm; where are our eyes?

Think about our children. We watch them and vigilantly keep track of them to make sure they are safe and taken care of. When they learn to crawl and walk, it is hard work for them. They try, they fall, they try, and then they crawl and then they walk.

Do we keep our eyes on them? Do we stop the learning process or just make sure they don’t tumble down a flight of stairs? We don’t stop watching them, and they don’t stop trying.

What do those sweet children of ours do when they fall and they hurt themselves? They have their eyes on us. They know that we are there and will comfort them even through the pain of the scratched knee.

When Jehoshaphat as the leader of this country did not know what to do, “his eyes (and those of the people) were on the Lord.”

We must teach our children that through the good days and through the days of crises, we must keep our eyes on the Lord. He has not taken His eyes off us. Why do we take our eyes off the Lord in the midst of the crises? Do we really think that we can solve the crises better than the Creator of the World?

I don’t know where you are or what situation you are in.  You may feel as if all the enemies of the world are pointing their swords toward you, and you don’t know what to do. Do what Jehoshaphat did, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (II Chron. 20:12)

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment
16
Oct
2019

A nurse and a president walk into a building…

I was wearing my scrubs. I had been out around town visiting my home health patients, but I needed to do some research for one of my real estate clients. I parked my car in downtown Grand Rapids and walked inside the building. I rode the elevator to the 8th floor. When I got off, the receptionist saw me walk off the elevator and walk towards the door. She buzzed me in. I told her the purpose of my visit. She told me to wait right there after turning her computers off. Then she walked through another set of doors that needed a special entry code. As I waited, I began to feel small. I felt at that moment like a very small fish in a very big pond. Have you felt that way?

After I was told, “we’ll have someone call you.”  I walked out musing to myself about the bigness of the world, the smallness of myself, and the awesomeness of my God. Sometimes it takes experiences of getting out of the world we are in and into a different world to feel humbled. I felt humbled.

God in His sovereignty, though, decided that the president of that company and the nurse that walked into that building in her scrubs had the same value. We are both made in God’s image and we both serve a purpose in the amazing tapestry of the world that we live in. We both have the same value in God’s eyes.

I think sometimes, we view our value through the eyes of someone else, through what the world values, or through the eyes of someone or something we hold in high esteem. The problem with gaining our value through these things is they change and we change. If our value is garnered by what we look like, we age or we gain weight, or we injure ourselves and acquire a scar in the most obvious of places. What happens to our value then?

If we value who we are based on the world’s standard of value, we will always measure up inadequate and always be striving for something that is unobtainable. If my value was based on how I felt in that office (which I must admit I did feel a bit out of place and a bit inadequate), then my value would always be changing. When I walked outside, I thanked the Lord that my value is based on something far greater than anything transient. My value is based on what Christ did for me on the cross, and when God the Father looks at me He sees the righteousness of Christ. How much more valuable could I feel?

If we gain our value based on who talks to us, or who invites us to their party, or invites us to eat lunch with them during school; then our value will be changing. If we are always living with the fear of missing out (FOMO), are we not basing our value on what others think of us rather than what God thinks of us.

A number of years ago, we were driving as a family on vacation at Christmas and as a good homeschool mom, I did not want to waste that valuable car time. I went to the library and got the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (Dale Carnegie) on CD so we could listen to it while we drove. That book had some very practical suggestions. There are 6 that I have really tried to put into practice that are very biblical.

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. …
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Ever since I listened to that series, I have worked on implementing these principles.  What has become more important to me is not what others think of me, but how can I make others feel genuinely loved and cared for. I love to notice people’s names on their name badges at the store and call them by name.

I have found that more often when I “Do unto others as I would have them do unto me” (Luke 6:31), I don’t usually think about myself and whether I am missing out on something or feel inferior in my surroundings. I am so busy trying to notice things about others that I don’t think to notice anything about myself. Don’t you love how God knows that about us? That when we sincerely seek to love others better than ourselves, we actually feel better about ourselves. When we realize that the world and life is not actually all about us, we are happier people. It sure does seem backwards, but God being the Creator of the world knew exactly how valuable it was to “deny ourselves.” (Mt. 16:24).

Go ahead and put these verses into practical use. Smile at someone at the store, call them by name, and tell them to have a nice day. It will certainly put a smile on your face too.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 3 comments
02
Oct
2019

A Few Months in Review

It’s been a few months since I have written and posted anything. It’s been a busy summer and now we are already into fall. Our oldest daughter graduated from Cedarville University, married her sweetheart, and moved out of our home and into an apartment with her husband. She started her first adult job, and calls often for a mom listening ear and even a little bit of “life lessons from Mom.” I love every minute of those times with her.

Our second daughter started her senior year at Cedarville University after working a full summer of landscaping. We enjoyed competing in a triathlon together this summer and encouraging each other to strive to go just a little bit faster and stay faithful in training. She doesn’t call quite as often as her older sister, but when she does there are always many stories to relate and much to keep up on. Our last conversation lasted 1.5 hours. It is a good thing I didn’t have anything pressing to do at that time. I learned that lesson from my mom and dad. Whenever I call, my parents always have time for me. I have always appreciated that about my parents, so I have tried to make that happen when my girls call. It does not always happen, but I try to put aside what I think might be important and make them the most important thing at that time.

Our third daughter started her sophomore year at Cedarville University. She spent the summer working for her dad (and my husband:)) at a hunting company and also taking a summer class. I enjoyed being able to sit by the pool with her this summer while she worked on her class, and I worked on a myriad of projects. Once our girls have gotten older, it has been my goal to orient my schedule so I could be home as much as possible when they were home. I wanted to always be available in case they needed to talk about something. Plus, now that they are gone more than they are home, I wanted to be able to be with them as much as possible. I enjoyed cooking their favorite foods for them, and adapting things to fit new found allergies that surfaced this summer.

I have been busy working as a nurse and a realtor. I have also been working towards becoming a certified Biblical counselor (Association of Certified Biblical Counselors-ACBC formerly NANC). This process has taken a lot of spare time, but I am excited to have submitted the requirements for step one. Once all my exams have been graded and I pass, I will do 50 hours of observed counseling. I have wanted to be a counselor for over 20 years, and now God has placed this before me at this time in my life. I am excited to see the path this will take.

Another important part of my life for the last year has been my Future Leader Dog puppy, Millie. On August 23, she went back to Leader Dogs for her formal training. Our house has been quiet without her, but there is a lot less hair and slobber that I have to clean up. I eagerly await any updates about her progress.

This has been my life for the last few months. I am excited to start writing and blogging again. I have missed writing the lessons God has been teaching me, but have been focusing my writing time on answering questions for my counseling exams.

I am excited to spend time with my girls this week as we go to Cedarville University for parent’s weekend and homecoming. I think next year will be my 30 year reunion. Hard to believe it’s been 30 years since my own days at Cedarville. God is so good to me.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
19
Jun
2019

Words for the Bride and Groom

On June 14, 2019, Danielle and Aaron were married. It was a beautiful and God honoring day. These are the words that I shared with them during the reception.

 

Family and Friends, thank-you so much for coming and making this day in the lives of Danielle and Aaron so special. You all have had a part in these two becoming the people that they are today. Thank-you for your part in their lives.

On November 30, 1991, Dave and I were married. After our good friend, Eric Mounts, pronounced us husband and wife, Dave and I walked out of the auditorium and into the foyer. At that moment, Dave started crying. I had never seen him cry before and I thought, “What’s wrong? Does he not want to be married?.” I have come to find out that Dave cries only at the big events in our lives, weddings, graduations, and I cry at all the little events in between.

Aaron and Danielle,

This has been a wonderful first day in your life together as husband and wife. Your marriage ceremony was God honoring and very worshipful, just as God meant for it to be as a symbol of our marriage as the church to Christ. Thank-you for leading us in worship during your beautiful wedding ceremony.

Aaron, we have been praying for you for 22 years. We didn’t know who God would send into Danielle’s life, but we knew the kind of young man we wanted God to send. We have been praying for a young man who loved God with his heart, his soul, his mind, and all his strength. We have been praying for a young man who would be a gentleman and a gentle leader for this special daughter of ours. We have been praying for someone who is kind, thankful, respectful, and thoughtful, a hard and dedicated worker who will provide for Danielle, and someone who follows Christ no matter the circumstances in life.

You, Aaron, are that answer to our prayers. Thank-you, Dan and Resa, for raising this wonderful young man. Aaron, we are so excited to welcome you into our family. Being the oldest like Danielle, you are also the guinea pig. Being in-laws is new for us, but we will happily practice on you. We may try to convert your allegiance, but if you remain an Ohio State fan we will still love you. We never want to take the place of your parents, but we would be honored if you would now call us “Dad and Mom.”

Danielle, what a treasure you are to our family. We have been preparing for this next chapter in your life for 22 years. I have tried to teach you how to cook, how to clean, how to work hard, how to care for your family, and most of all how to serve and love our Savior. I have not always done everything right, but it has been a joy to raise you and nurture you. Remember our first conversation about boys. We talked about how important it was to save your heart for that right young man. You were 12 when we had that conversation. My goal has been to model and teach to you how to be “virtuous woman who is far above rubies” taken from one of my favorite passages in Scripture, Proverbs 31. So we went and got your ears pierced and I gave you ruby earrings to help you remember how important that was. When you were 16, we went to the Dodge house and talked more about boys and what you should look for in a husband and made a list of the those qualities. We also talked about how important purity was. For about 8 weeks, we sat on the back veranda of the Dodge house and every time we sat there I reminded you that you were a princess and how valuable you were. We gave you a ruby ring to again remind you how important purity of heart and body is and also to once again remind you that “your value is far above rubies.”  It has been fun to look at your pink fuzzy notebook and see the list of qualities you wanted in your future husband. Aaron, you have all those qualities, even the blue eyes.

Just last week, Danielle, we had another conversation about being a virtuous woman and I gave you a ruby necklace. The next step is for you to not only be a virtuous woman but also a virtuous wife. “Your value is above rubies.”

Aaron and Danielle, as you start this next lifelong chapter in your lives, remember how much your family loves you. We are always here for you. Aaron, as you love Danielle like Christ loves the church she will be as Solomon says “a crown to her husband.”

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment
12
Jun
2019

One Memory at a Time

Twenty-two years ago I held you in my arms for the first time. What a wonderful day that was. And to be honest at that point, 22 years seemed like forever.

When I held you in my arms twenty-two years ago, I was still a newlywed having only been married for 5 years. 22 years seemed like forever.

Now in two short days, I will be watching you pledge your love and devotion to Aaron. Where have the twenty-two years that seemed like forever gone?

They went one day at a time, one memory at a time.

How can I feel such joy and sorrow at the same time?  I am so excited for you and for Aaron and all that God has planned for you.

I am sad that the years that I have had you under my roof are now memories.

I want you to know that I don’t think either of us would be happy if you still lived here at 40. That has never been what I have wanted.

I am sad that the twenty-two years that seemed like forever have now slipped through our fingers never to be held again.

The beauty of this is that I am filled with such mixed emotions. Our relationship is sweet and so very precious to me. The sadness that I feel represents the beauty that exists between us.

The memories are sweet.

I remember your first smile, when you laughed, when you first started crawling and walking. I remember when you said, “I love you, Mommy.”

I remember when you asked Jesus into your heart.

Every time we went to the playground, you introduced me to your new friend. There was always a new friend to be had wherever we went. When we went to the grocery store, you wouldn’t stop saying “hi” until the other person acknowledged you and said “hi” back.

You participated in gymnastics, swimming, soccer, and finally found your passion for skating. Now that passion has turned into a passion for teaching others to love skating like you do.

Ever since you were little you have had a heart for others and a heart for serving others.

I watch you disciple others, encourage others, write notes to others, seek to bring out the best in others and my heart swells with pride as I realize how blessed I am that God gave you to be my daughter.

You will always be my daughter, but you have become so much more. You have become my friend.

On your wedding day, I will celebrate with you all of God’s rich blessings as you marry Aaron. It will be a wonderful day as you begin the next chapter of your life. You will be a beautiful bride.

May God bless you both in this next chapter of your lives. Keep treasuring each moment. Hold on to the joys that come each day and learn from struggles. Keep God first each and every day.

I love you Danielle and could not be more proud of the godly young lady you have become. I am excited for you and Aaron and the next chapter that is to come.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment
22
May
2019

Enjoy the Everydayness

I have been busy living life. Do you get that way?  The girls are home from college for the summer and Danielle, our oldest, is home for six weeks before her wedding. I love having the house full, a full refrigerator, and the many spontaneous conversations. They are working on furniture projects in the barn, baking, and cooking. We are training for a triathlon together. It is fun to share how our progress is coming together.

What I love the most is the everydayness of life with them being home.

Are you tired, Mom?

There are many moms out there that are tired of the everydayness of life. They are tired of all the meals, the laundry, the cleaning, the travels to sporting events and music events, or trying to organize end-of-school parties or birthday parties.

There are many epic moments, but there are so many every day moments. With my daughters all being away at college, what I miss the most is the everydayness.

Those moments are what teach them the most.

They learn when I make them their favorite meal that they are special and important to me.

They learn how to sacrifice when I sacrifice my sleep to make sure they have breakfast before leaving for the day. They learn sacrifice when I change my schedule to make sure we spend time together.

They learn how to work and get a job done by working with us on projects around the house or helping to clean up after meals.

They learn the value of intentional conversation when we sit on the kitchen floor and talk about the things that are important to them, even if it is time for me to go to bed.

I have opportunities to teach about their identity in Christ and how they gain value because of what Christ did for them when I take time to ask the right questions and really listen to their answer.

I miss the everydayness

I miss driving them to their various activities and the different memories we made along the way. The random places we would stop at and have an adventure. The spontaneous conversations. The funny observations they made when they looked out the window.

I know that the everydayness of life gets tiring when you are in the midst of it. It seems so long before you will be able to sleep in and have a leisurely Saturday morning, BUT…

When they leave and start having a life of their own and they don’t need you as much, YOU WILL MISS THE EVERYDAYNESS.

Don’t wish it away

Rather than wishing away the mundane of today, look at it as a treasure that you will never get back. Hug them more. Make them their favorite meal. Ask them questions that make them offer more than a “yes “or “no” answer.

Jesus discipled in the everydayness

There is no better way to disciple our children than in the every day. Jesus spent three years living with His disciples. They walked together. They talked together. They ate together. They fished together. They lived life together. Jesus did many amazing things that we read about in Scripture, but “there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.” (John 21:25). Jesus taught His disciples in the epic moments. He also taught them in the everydayness of life.

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9).  I am now enjoying the benefits of the “not giving up.” The truth of the matter is, we must never give up. As I look at the next decades to come, relationship with my daughters will look different, but if it is to continue, I must not give up.

So celebrate the everydayness of life. Enjoy every minute. Look for ways to teach your children in the everydayness. As you lay in bed and reflect on your day, you will be happy that you enjoyed the day and took the time to teach your children in the everydayness of life.

The everydayness of my life is beckoning me and I need to go make my daughters a rhubarb pie. It’s one of the things that makes them feel special.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
08
May
2019

One of my Steps in Parenting

Parenting isn’t something we should just wing and hope for the best. Parenting needs to be intentional not just when we feel like it, but many ore times when we don’t. One of the major stepping stones in our parenting journey began once we announced our pregnancy.

God’s Timing

What a great day it was when we finally could announce to the world that we were pregnant. We had waited for longer than I wanted to wait.  I still don’t know if I have learned that lesson that God was trying to teach me. I still long for things to happen in my timing rather than trusting in God’s perfect timing. As I write these words, I have had many different thoughts flow through my mind. How many times have I knelt in prayer and asked God about His timing. Many times.

We waited for God’s timing and on the day that God decided the timing was right, we became pregnant. I remember those days as I was so nauseated and felt so miserable, and yet there was so much joy. I think that is the only time in my life that I have been happy to be sick. It was miserable, but I knew it would be worth it in the end.

What am I going to do?

Then we started thinking about being parents. I didn’t know the first thing about being a mom. How was I going to take care of this helpless infant that needed me for every aspect of life? That was a responsibility that was daunting and overwhelming. I didn’t want to mess this precious little one up. I could either mess their life up completely or set them on a trajectory that would help them throughout life.

So I started to read. I had a friend recommend to me a series of books by Gary and Ann Marie Ezzo titled “Preparation for Parenting”  Back over 20 years ago, there were cassette tapes that we listened to and a book that we read. Now there are videos to watch along with the book.

A welcome addition

These books helped me to understand the needs of a baby in a way that I had never been taught. One of the biggest premises of this book is that “Children are a welcome addition to our families.” Too often when babies are born, our lives change focus and with good reason. These little ones need us. These little ones are helpless and can do nothing without us. It is with good reason that our lives change and our focus changes. However, too many parents have gone overboard with this and their children become the center of their world and not a welcome addition.

A schedule is a beautiful thing

The second thing this book taught me was that babies do better with a schedule. When we put our babies on a schedule, they learn to sleep through the night faster. Isn’t that what all new moms want and need? More sleep. The schedule is a feed-wake-sleep schedule. It is much easier to plan a day if we know what the schedule for the babies is going to be.

With the help of Gary and Ann Marie Ezzo, I felt much more sure of myself as a mom and felt like maybe I might be able to care for our baby.

I am so thankful for my good friend who introduced me to this material, and I am thankful for Gary and Marie Ezzo and their willingness to put this material together and help so many parents across the country.

They also have a simpler version called “On Becoming Babywise” I highly recommend the audio along with the books, but if time is of the essence this shorter book will also help you understand the principles. With our oldest daughter graduating from college last weekend, I am so thankful for the foundational principles we started with so many years ago.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments