My husband and I were out with our daughters last week. We had eaten together and after dinner my husband told one of our daughters that she had something in her teeth. This has happened to most of us. Maybe we didn’t have something in our teeth, maybe it was something on our face or on our clothes. Why is that we didn’t know about these things in our teeth, on our face, or on our clothes? We couldn’t see them. What about the time you walk out with a black sock and a blue sock on? Again, we got dressed in the dark and didn’t see that the colors were not the same. So often we are “blinded” because we aren’t in front of a mirror, aren’t looking for the stain on our clothes, or are in the dark when we get dressed.
Life is the same.
What does Proverbs have to say about when we point out flaws, correct, or reprove someone?
Proverbs 9:7-9 “Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser, teach a righteous man and he will increase in learning.”
A scoffer is someone who expresses contempt to others. So when you point out to a scoffer things you see in their life that is a poor choice, a character flaw, or a sin they will not receive what you have to say to them about them with kind reception. Rather, they will respond poorly. They may verbally abuse you. They may reject you and the relationship that you had with them. They do not accept what you have to say. As a matter of fact, they will do everything in their power to prove you wrong.
They do not see you as someone that can objectively see the ketchup on their face or the food in your teeth, rather they think that you do not know what you are talking about and have the wrong perspective. They refuse to listen to what you have to say and think that they know much better than you do about their life. They refuse to look introspectively to see the “thing” that you are bringing to their attention.
What kind of injury do you receive from the wicked man? (Prov. 9:7). When we open our mouths and point out something in someone’s life that they do not see, we risk losing the relationship. We risk losing a good friend that we enjoyed living life with. We risk losing that family member that we spent time making many memories together. Holidays are no longer the same because they refuse to be a part. Maybe the person that we risked pointing out the sin, the blind spot, or a poor choice will take to social media and spew forth unkind things about us. Maybe they will gossip and tell a tale about us that is not true in order to get back at us for what we said. They want to injure our reputation. So they poor forth lies about us. We may be injured. Our reputation may be injured. Unfortunately for them, they are so busy trying to prove you wrong, that they end up injuring themselves.
What will a wise man or woman do when they are given instruction? They will gladly accept it. They will appreciate the fact that you had the courage to risk the relationship to point out to them the sin, the blind spot, or the poor choice that they are making. The righteous man or woman will gladly look introspectively into their life and see the things that you noticed and appreciate you for having the courage to speak up. Since you did have the courage to speak truth into their lives, rather than harming the relationship, the relationship will be stronger and better for the instruction that you gave.
So my question for you dear friend is this: Which person are you? When someone reproves you, what do you do? Do you pour out abuse on the poor person that spoke up? Do you gladly receive the rebuke from someone and seek to change so that you can be more conformed to the image of God’s Son? A scoffer is proud and a wise person is humble. Do some introspection and ask the Lord to help you see with new eyes the kind of person you are. After all, that piece of food that is between your teeth left there will be unattractive, but if removed will make you more pleasant to be looked on by others. So it is with rebuke. Seek the Lord.
