Month: July 2023

26
Jul
2023

Strife or Advice

“By insolence comes nothing but strife,

But with those who take advice is wisdom.”

Proverbs 13:10

For those of you that have been reading my blog, you know that I have been listening to books. I have been listening to a bit of a variety of books, but recently have been listening to some historical fiction. I just finished a book about the personal librarian of J.P. Morgan. I didn’t even know that J.P. Morgan had a personal library, which is now open to the public, but to have a personal librarian that did nothing but work for him in his library. As I listened to this book I was struck by a number of things, but the one thing I want to elaborate on today has to do with our verse. J.P. Morgan was a very powerful man with a lot of money. He and his librarian had a dream about what the vision for the library should be. As they hunted down original manuscripts and art work, it had to fit in with this vision. J.P. Morgan trusted his librarian as an expert. He knew that she was doing nothing but devote her life to his library. She was well read and did much to educate herself even to teach herself other languages so she could read the manuscripts she was acquiring to be sure that they were authentic. Even though J.P. Morgan had the money, he trusted his librarian and her skill and knowledge in acquiring the valuable treasures that they obtained.

If at the end of the day, J.P. Morgan did not think that a certain item should be purchased his librarian had to submit to his final decision. On most occasions, J.P. Morgan submitted to her decisions since she was wholly vested in this project.

Imagine if either one of them in their endeavors to accomplish their purpose for the library were insolent or proud and were not interested in the opinion of the other. This would have caused nothing but strife. There would have been no peace and no decision would have been made. Rather, they were willing to take the advice of the other and reach a conclusion.

So often when a decision in our life needs to be made, we tend to only see this decision through our eyes and not through the eyes of anyone else. We only see the steps and the outcomes that we envision, and we don’t think that an outcome will turn out any other way than how we think it will turn out. There are many others that have gone before us that would gladly tell you that they wished they would have sought the advice of another or listened to the advice of another, and now they are stuck in a hard place. They think to themselves, “if only I would have listened…”

When we are proud or insolent, we don’t want to listen to what someone else has to say. We are not eager to glean advice from someone else and if we do seek advice from someone else and we are proud, we think that the other person does not know what they are talking about. This causes strife in the relationship. Do you have a relationship that is tense, full of strife, or you are not on the best terms with that person? Is there a relationship that was once close and now because of something that someone said to you caused you to retreat from the relationship because you didn’t like the advice that was given? The relationship might still be intact, but is it superficial?

God gave people into our lives for relationship. He gave us people to help us through life. If we think we know everything and don’t need to listen to advice from others especially our parents or those that are older than us, we will continue to cause conflict in our relationships. There will be strife with others.

What is the conclusion we must make from this Proverb for our lives. Be willing to listen. Be willing to ask questions when someone gives you advice and you don’t understand why they said what they said. Be willing to ponder over the relationship and take into account the care, love, and concern the speaker has for you. Too often we are blind to what others see; we have blind spots in our lives. Just like a driver who may have a blind spot when driving, so we have blind spots in our lives and need to heed the advice of others so we don’t miss out on wise counsel. When we are unwilling to listen, there will be strife in a relationship and we will miss out on the wisdom that will help us better live out God’s purpose in our lives.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments
19
Jul
2023

Work or Worthless Pursuits

Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread,

But he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.

                                                  Proverbs 12:11

 

I enjoy gardening. I have posted pictures of my fence around my garden. I often take pictures of the beautiful flowers that adorn the various flower beds around our house. I enjoy seeing my hard work of trimming, weeding, fertilizing, mulching, etc. produce beautiful flowers and yummy produce. This year has been a difficult year for some of my produce. Some of my produce has done pretty well. We had a drought at the beginning of the summer so I was dutifully watering every other day. I think I planted sunflowers three different times because the seeds I planted were not growing. I finally have some coming up, but I am not sure if they will be able to bloom before the frost of winter sets in. my strawberries, black and red raspberries, and blueberries have done pretty well. We have had some green beans and some peas so far. There is nothing like eating the produce from your own garden. I am thankful that there are grocery stores because we would starve if it were up to me to supply enough food to feed us throughout the entire winter.

Our Proverb today is similar to a Proverb we studied earlier, “Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.” (Proverbs 6:6). The ant teaches us valuable lessons about working hard. You can go back and read that blog, Go to the Ant. The ant is motivated, plans ahead, glorifies God, and has busy hands.

A hard worker will have plenty of bread. The reason that the hard worker has plenty is because he is so busy working he does not have time for worthless pursuits. In America, we have become a nation that enjoys our leisure activities. However, we are not the first or the last people to enjoy our leisure. We could take a walk through history and read about all those that have gone before us that enjoyed their leisure. They enjoyed following “worthless pursuits.”

Is it wrong to enjoy leisurely activities? No. Is it wrong to have a hobby that we enjoy doing in our free time? No. The problem is when these leisure activities begin to consume us and cause us to disregard our duties and responsibilities.

First and foremost, do your leisure activities get in the way of spending time in God’s Word and in prayer? Does your job suffer because your focus is more on putting in your time so that you can enjoy your leisure activities? Does your family suffer neglect because you are too focused on your leisure activities?

There are pursuits that are sinful in and of themselves: Pornography, gambling, gossip, etc. No matter what these are sinful.

Video games, social media, internet browsing, and other technology driven activities have become addictive in our society today and though not evil in and of themselves they have become addictive and have caused people to waste inordinate amounts of time. These are the people that lack sense.

Our time is a non-renewable commodity. These moments that we are spending on these various pursuits will never be able to be done over. We will never recapture those moments.

With the 24 hours per day you have been given, what will you spend your time doing? Will you work hard? Performing your job to the best of your ability, caring for your family, ministering to the needs of others? Will you faithfully spend time in God’s Word and in prayer? Do you use your time in a sensible or nonsensible way? Someday, we will give an account for our actions. What will God say about yours?

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments
12
Jul
2023

A Crown or Rotten Bones

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,

But she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 12:4

 

I have been listening to books this year. It is amazing to me how much listening time I have. One of my daughters has encouraged me to listen to some historical fiction, which has been some lighter listening than some of the other books I have listened to and the ones that I actually read the print on the page. I just finished a story set in the mid 1800’s about Empress Elisabeth “Sisi” married to Franz Joseph emperor of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. His empire stretched from Austria to Russia and from Germany to Italy. It is a totally different life than I am certainly used to. Servants to do everything for her from fixing her meals to styling her hair. She doesn’t have to lift a finger. The people of the kingdom all love her, even though she is waited on by her servants. She is still a down to earth empress and became their most beloved “Fairy Queen.”

Our verse from Proverbs contrasts two different wives. The first wife mentioned is excellent and appears to be a crown to her husband. The second wife brings shame to her husband and can be compared to rotten bones.

Let’s talk about each of these separately. We will also spend much more time and in-depth study on this when we get to Proverbs 31. How does one go about being an excellent wife that is a crown to her husband? A crown is a beautiful adornment that adds beauty to the wearer. It is a symbol of power and majesty. One of the things that is important when a man and a woman meet and consider marriage is do they make each other better people? Do they point each other to Christ? Does each one challenge the other in their walk with the Lord encouraging them on to grow in the Lord? The closer our walk with the Lord is the better our lives will be. The closer we look like Christ, the better our relationship will be. Do you as the wife “spur your husband on to love and good works?” (Heb. 10:24).

One of the ways I have tried to adorn my husband is by being his assistant.  I still firmly believe that the husband should be the primary provider for the household income. So as his assistant or help meet, I do what I can to make it easier for my husband to do his job. If we need to have something repaired at the house, I do everything I can to make sure that I am at home when the service person arrives. I was the primary caretaker for our daughters. My husband would assist me, but he was busy with his job so it fell to me to care for them.

What do my words reflect about my husband? When I am in the presence of others, do I build my husband up or do I tear him down? Do I find something nice to say about him and then share those things with others? Or do I spew forth every sin that he has committed, every fault that irritates me, every choice that he makes that is not wrong just different?

Do I treat him with love and respect? Does he enjoy being around me because I encourage him and seek to bring out the best in him?

The wife who brings shame is the opposite of these things. She has nothing nice to say about him. Because of her words, her husband is not esteemed by others. She does not build him up before others so now others think the worst of him.

Our Proverb mentions rotten bones. A man that does not have the support of his wife cannot stand before others. His reputation is not one of strength or godly leadership, but one of weakness – rotten bones.

This wife is not looking out for the best interest of her family, but rather she is looking out for her own best interest. If her husband wants a hot meal on the table he must not only make the money to buy the food, but must also cook the food. There is no teamwork in this marriage, but rather the husband’s sole purpose in the wife’s eyes is to serve her. He cannot fulfill his God given leadership role in the home because his wife is too busy clamoring for her needs that she thinks needs to be met.

As a wife, I want to be an asset to my husband. I want him to be successful in what he does so I seek to serve him. I may not receive any praise or recognition for what I do, but he is able to accomplish more because I encourage him, fill in the gaps, and spur him on to lead like Christ.

I have not always loved my husband perfectly. I have not always been an adornment to his head, but my goal is to be excellent in what I do and say so that I don’t cause weakness in him.

Just as Sisi and Franz Joseph wore crowns that set them apart from those that were around them, so I must adorn my husband in a way that sets him apart from those he is with. I need to be his #1 cheerleader, encouraging him in all that he does. Do I listen to him when he needs a listening ear without judging? Do my actions adorn him and bring out the best in him? Do my words come back to him throughout his day and help him get through the tough things he has to do? Does he feel appreciated for all he does, so when his day is hard and long he knows it is all worth it because he is providing for us, providing for someone who appreciates what he does? Am I sympathetic to his struggles?

We as wives have great power. We can either cause strength or weakness, honor or dishonor, joy or sorrow. As a wife, look at your actions and your words. Where do you fall? If you do not know, ask your husband. I am sure he will readily tell you where you stand.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments