Month: October 2019

30
Oct
2019

Where are your eyes?

As a Mom, there are so many different places we need to keep focused. We watch our children grow through different stages, and as they do they need us to focus on different things. We must keep our eyes on a myriad of things. As babies, we make sure they get enough sleep, enough to eat, stay healthy, stay warm or cool, get enough stimulation but not too much.

Then they start moving. First, they are rolling over, then scooting, then crawling, and then very proudly walking. It was so nice in those early days of motherhood to set the baby down and know that when we looked back at them, they were still in the same spot. Once they start moving, we gain eyes in the back of our heads. If we did not, there would sure be many more accidents. Those eyes in the back of our heads are certainly a unique and necessary feature for every mom.

I believe another very important place for us as moms to keep our eyes is on the Lord. II Chronicles 20 talks about Jehoshaphat’s prayer to the Lord when he was threatened by more than one nation coming against him and the children of Israel. There was an invasion of more than one enemy coming against Israel and Jehoshaphat cried out to the Lord, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (II Chron. 20:12).

I don’t know about you, but I have been at this place in my life more than once. I did not know what to do.

It seems there are only 2 choices. Have our eyes on the Lord or not.

In the midst of the crises, in the mist of the storm, in the midst of the peace after the storm; where are our eyes?

Think about our children. We watch them and vigilantly keep track of them to make sure they are safe and taken care of. When they learn to crawl and walk, it is hard work for them. They try, they fall, they try, and then they crawl and then they walk.

Do we keep our eyes on them? Do we stop the learning process or just make sure they don’t tumble down a flight of stairs? We don’t stop watching them, and they don’t stop trying.

What do those sweet children of ours do when they fall and they hurt themselves? They have their eyes on us. They know that we are there and will comfort them even through the pain of the scratched knee.

When Jehoshaphat as the leader of this country did not know what to do, “his eyes (and those of the people) were on the Lord.”

We must teach our children that through the good days and through the days of crises, we must keep our eyes on the Lord. He has not taken His eyes off us. Why do we take our eyes off the Lord in the midst of the crises? Do we really think that we can solve the crises better than the Creator of the World?

I don’t know where you are or what situation you are in.  You may feel as if all the enemies of the world are pointing their swords toward you, and you don’t know what to do. Do what Jehoshaphat did, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (II Chron. 20:12)

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment
16
Oct
2019

A nurse and a president walk into a building…

I was wearing my scrubs. I had been out around town visiting my home health patients, but I needed to do some research for one of my real estate clients. I parked my car in downtown Grand Rapids and walked inside the building. I rode the elevator to the 8th floor. When I got off, the receptionist saw me walk off the elevator and walk towards the door. She buzzed me in. I told her the purpose of my visit. She told me to wait right there after turning her computers off. Then she walked through another set of doors that needed a special entry code. As I waited, I began to feel small. I felt at that moment like a very small fish in a very big pond. Have you felt that way?

After I was told, “we’ll have someone call you.”  I walked out musing to myself about the bigness of the world, the smallness of myself, and the awesomeness of my God. Sometimes it takes experiences of getting out of the world we are in and into a different world to feel humbled. I felt humbled.

God in His sovereignty, though, decided that the president of that company and the nurse that walked into that building in her scrubs had the same value. We are both made in God’s image and we both serve a purpose in the amazing tapestry of the world that we live in. We both have the same value in God’s eyes.

I think sometimes, we view our value through the eyes of someone else, through what the world values, or through the eyes of someone or something we hold in high esteem. The problem with gaining our value through these things is they change and we change. If our value is garnered by what we look like, we age or we gain weight, or we injure ourselves and acquire a scar in the most obvious of places. What happens to our value then?

If we value who we are based on the world’s standard of value, we will always measure up inadequate and always be striving for something that is unobtainable. If my value was based on how I felt in that office (which I must admit I did feel a bit out of place and a bit inadequate), then my value would always be changing. When I walked outside, I thanked the Lord that my value is based on something far greater than anything transient. My value is based on what Christ did for me on the cross, and when God the Father looks at me He sees the righteousness of Christ. How much more valuable could I feel?

If we gain our value based on who talks to us, or who invites us to their party, or invites us to eat lunch with them during school; then our value will be changing. If we are always living with the fear of missing out (FOMO), are we not basing our value on what others think of us rather than what God thinks of us.

A number of years ago, we were driving as a family on vacation at Christmas and as a good homeschool mom, I did not want to waste that valuable car time. I went to the library and got the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (Dale Carnegie) on CD so we could listen to it while we drove. That book had some very practical suggestions. There are 6 that I have really tried to put into practice that are very biblical.

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. …
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Ever since I listened to that series, I have worked on implementing these principles.  What has become more important to me is not what others think of me, but how can I make others feel genuinely loved and cared for. I love to notice people’s names on their name badges at the store and call them by name.

I have found that more often when I “Do unto others as I would have them do unto me” (Luke 6:31), I don’t usually think about myself and whether I am missing out on something or feel inferior in my surroundings. I am so busy trying to notice things about others that I don’t think to notice anything about myself. Don’t you love how God knows that about us? That when we sincerely seek to love others better than ourselves, we actually feel better about ourselves. When we realize that the world and life is not actually all about us, we are happier people. It sure does seem backwards, but God being the Creator of the world knew exactly how valuable it was to “deny ourselves.” (Mt. 16:24).

Go ahead and put these verses into practical use. Smile at someone at the store, call them by name, and tell them to have a nice day. It will certainly put a smile on your face too.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 3 comments
02
Oct
2019

A Few Months in Review

It’s been a few months since I have written and posted anything. It’s been a busy summer and now we are already into fall. Our oldest daughter graduated from Cedarville University, married her sweetheart, and moved out of our home and into an apartment with her husband. She started her first adult job, and calls often for a mom listening ear and even a little bit of “life lessons from Mom.” I love every minute of those times with her.

Our second daughter started her senior year at Cedarville University after working a full summer of landscaping. We enjoyed competing in a triathlon together this summer and encouraging each other to strive to go just a little bit faster and stay faithful in training. She doesn’t call quite as often as her older sister, but when she does there are always many stories to relate and much to keep up on. Our last conversation lasted 1.5 hours. It is a good thing I didn’t have anything pressing to do at that time. I learned that lesson from my mom and dad. Whenever I call, my parents always have time for me. I have always appreciated that about my parents, so I have tried to make that happen when my girls call. It does not always happen, but I try to put aside what I think might be important and make them the most important thing at that time.

Our third daughter started her sophomore year at Cedarville University. She spent the summer working for her dad (and my husband:)) at a hunting company and also taking a summer class. I enjoyed being able to sit by the pool with her this summer while she worked on her class, and I worked on a myriad of projects. Once our girls have gotten older, it has been my goal to orient my schedule so I could be home as much as possible when they were home. I wanted to always be available in case they needed to talk about something. Plus, now that they are gone more than they are home, I wanted to be able to be with them as much as possible. I enjoyed cooking their favorite foods for them, and adapting things to fit new found allergies that surfaced this summer.

I have been busy working as a nurse and a realtor. I have also been working towards becoming a certified Biblical counselor (Association of Certified Biblical Counselors-ACBC formerly NANC). This process has taken a lot of spare time, but I am excited to have submitted the requirements for step one. Once all my exams have been graded and I pass, I will do 50 hours of observed counseling. I have wanted to be a counselor for over 20 years, and now God has placed this before me at this time in my life. I am excited to see the path this will take.

Another important part of my life for the last year has been my Future Leader Dog puppy, Millie. On August 23, she went back to Leader Dogs for her formal training. Our house has been quiet without her, but there is a lot less hair and slobber that I have to clean up. I eagerly await any updates about her progress.

This has been my life for the last few months. I am excited to start writing and blogging again. I have missed writing the lessons God has been teaching me, but have been focusing my writing time on answering questions for my counseling exams.

I am excited to spend time with my girls this week as we go to Cedarville University for parent’s weekend and homecoming. I think next year will be my 30 year reunion. Hard to believe it’s been 30 years since my own days at Cedarville. God is so good to me.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments