Month: May 2019

22
May
2019

Enjoy the Everydayness

I have been busy living life. Do you get that way?  The girls are home from college for the summer and Danielle, our oldest, is home for six weeks before her wedding. I love having the house full, a full refrigerator, and the many spontaneous conversations. They are working on furniture projects in the barn, baking, and cooking. We are training for a triathlon together. It is fun to share how our progress is coming together.

What I love the most is the everydayness of life with them being home.

Are you tired, Mom?

There are many moms out there that are tired of the everydayness of life. They are tired of all the meals, the laundry, the cleaning, the travels to sporting events and music events, or trying to organize end-of-school parties or birthday parties.

There are many epic moments, but there are so many every day moments. With my daughters all being away at college, what I miss the most is the everydayness.

Those moments are what teach them the most.

They learn when I make them their favorite meal that they are special and important to me.

They learn how to sacrifice when I sacrifice my sleep to make sure they have breakfast before leaving for the day. They learn sacrifice when I change my schedule to make sure we spend time together.

They learn how to work and get a job done by working with us on projects around the house or helping to clean up after meals.

They learn the value of intentional conversation when we sit on the kitchen floor and talk about the things that are important to them, even if it is time for me to go to bed.

I have opportunities to teach about their identity in Christ and how they gain value because of what Christ did for them when I take time to ask the right questions and really listen to their answer.

I miss the everydayness

I miss driving them to their various activities and the different memories we made along the way. The random places we would stop at and have an adventure. The spontaneous conversations. The funny observations they made when they looked out the window.

I know that the everydayness of life gets tiring when you are in the midst of it. It seems so long before you will be able to sleep in and have a leisurely Saturday morning, BUT…

When they leave and start having a life of their own and they don’t need you as much, YOU WILL MISS THE EVERYDAYNESS.

Don’t wish it away

Rather than wishing away the mundane of today, look at it as a treasure that you will never get back. Hug them more. Make them their favorite meal. Ask them questions that make them offer more than a “yes “or “no” answer.

Jesus discipled in the everydayness

There is no better way to disciple our children than in the every day. Jesus spent three years living with His disciples. They walked together. They talked together. They ate together. They fished together. They lived life together. Jesus did many amazing things that we read about in Scripture, but “there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.” (John 21:25). Jesus taught His disciples in the epic moments. He also taught them in the everydayness of life.

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9).  I am now enjoying the benefits of the “not giving up.” The truth of the matter is, we must never give up. As I look at the next decades to come, relationship with my daughters will look different, but if it is to continue, I must not give up.

So celebrate the everydayness of life. Enjoy every minute. Look for ways to teach your children in the everydayness. As you lay in bed and reflect on your day, you will be happy that you enjoyed the day and took the time to teach your children in the everydayness of life.

The everydayness of my life is beckoning me and I need to go make my daughters a rhubarb pie. It’s one of the things that makes them feel special.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 0 comments
08
May
2019

One of my Steps in Parenting

Parenting isn’t something we should just wing and hope for the best. Parenting needs to be intentional not just when we feel like it, but many ore times when we don’t. One of the major stepping stones in our parenting journey began once we announced our pregnancy.

God’s Timing

What a great day it was when we finally could announce to the world that we were pregnant. We had waited for longer than I wanted to wait.  I still don’t know if I have learned that lesson that God was trying to teach me. I still long for things to happen in my timing rather than trusting in God’s perfect timing. As I write these words, I have had many different thoughts flow through my mind. How many times have I knelt in prayer and asked God about His timing. Many times.

We waited for God’s timing and on the day that God decided the timing was right, we became pregnant. I remember those days as I was so nauseated and felt so miserable, and yet there was so much joy. I think that is the only time in my life that I have been happy to be sick. It was miserable, but I knew it would be worth it in the end.

What am I going to do?

Then we started thinking about being parents. I didn’t know the first thing about being a mom. How was I going to take care of this helpless infant that needed me for every aspect of life? That was a responsibility that was daunting and overwhelming. I didn’t want to mess this precious little one up. I could either mess their life up completely or set them on a trajectory that would help them throughout life.

So I started to read. I had a friend recommend to me a series of books by Gary and Ann Marie Ezzo titled “Preparation for Parenting”  Back over 20 years ago, there were cassette tapes that we listened to and a book that we read. Now there are videos to watch along with the book.

A welcome addition

These books helped me to understand the needs of a baby in a way that I had never been taught. One of the biggest premises of this book is that “Children are a welcome addition to our families.” Too often when babies are born, our lives change focus and with good reason. These little ones need us. These little ones are helpless and can do nothing without us. It is with good reason that our lives change and our focus changes. However, too many parents have gone overboard with this and their children become the center of their world and not a welcome addition.

A schedule is a beautiful thing

The second thing this book taught me was that babies do better with a schedule. When we put our babies on a schedule, they learn to sleep through the night faster. Isn’t that what all new moms want and need? More sleep. The schedule is a feed-wake-sleep schedule. It is much easier to plan a day if we know what the schedule for the babies is going to be.

With the help of Gary and Ann Marie Ezzo, I felt much more sure of myself as a mom and felt like maybe I might be able to care for our baby.

I am so thankful for my good friend who introduced me to this material, and I am thankful for Gary and Marie Ezzo and their willingness to put this material together and help so many parents across the country.

They also have a simpler version called “On Becoming Babywise” I highly recommend the audio along with the books, but if time is of the essence this shorter book will also help you understand the principles. With our oldest daughter graduating from college last weekend, I am so thankful for the foundational principles we started with so many years ago.

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 2 comments
01
May
2019

Danielle, A Time to Reflect before College Graduation

Sweet Memories

There is a lot of musing at different times in our lives. I feel like the older I get the more time I spend reflecting and less time I spend planning. That does seem pretty obvious since there is more behind me to muse about than what what there is ahead to plan.

It wasn’t too long ago it seems that I started to teach Danielle how to read. I have always loved reading and knew that books were a good way to not only educate others but a way to stimulate a powerful imagination. Even when they were newborns, I read books to them. I had my favorites to read to them. When they were small we read simple books like Peek-A-Boo, Pat the Bunny, and Ten Little Ladybugs. Then we read Sleeping BeautySleeping Beauty, The Large and Growly Bear, and Nurse Nancy. (I was secretly trying to nudge one of my children into medicine, but that didn’t work.)

Soon we were homeschooling and used things like Five In a Row Vol. I, II , IIIto help guide our book choices. We fell in love with Ping, Lentil, and Madeline. We started playing the shoe throwing game because of A Pair of Red Clogs .

Then we started spending hours after lunch reading our all-time favorite series The Chronicles of Narnia. I would finish a chapter and the girls would beg me, “Mom, just one more chapter.” So we read more. I must admit I had some good voices for all the characters which added to the joy.

We read so many good books and spent so many hours around the kitchen table imagining the world that was written on the page. We would sit on the front porch, and enjoy the sweet smells of summer while being whisked away into another world that in each of our minds was not the same and yet was so real to each of us.

I long for those days and those storybook friends to rejoin our lives. I long for those simple days when we had time to read, “One more chapter.”

And yet as I reminisce about those days and enjoy those sweet memories, I am overjoyed that I had the honor and the privilege to spend all those hours with my children. As the tears flood my eyes as I write these words, I am thankful that I had the privilege to homeschool my children.

Sweet Firsts

We experienced so many firsts together. I enjoyed those sweet days of learning together. Even when there were tears of frustration, there were also shouts of triumph as a difficult concept was understood. There was much laughter over some silly little thing.

When it was time to pick a major, I never thought I could be a teacher. I couldn’t explain anything with the hopes that anyone could understand it. Yet God took that feeling of inadequacy and my joy in learning and allowed me to homeschool our daughters.

Now in just a few short days, our oldest daughter, who I affectionately call my guinea pig, is going to graduate from Cedarville University with a degree in Middle childhood education.

A Monumental Day

What a monumental day for me.

What a monumental day for her.

My daughter, who I homeschooled, is going to graduate from college with an education degree. What an unbelievable and ironic event. The mom who felt inadequate with only a passion for learning and a desire to be faithful is going to watch her sweet little guinea pig get a college degree.

Danielle is doing her student teaching now, and sometimes she calls me and says, “Mom, remember when we… I did that with my students today.” Such a sweet blessing.

The years have gone by so quickly, but I have treasured them all. There are many cherished memories.

Just four years ago, we stood with red eyes, wet cheeks, and some fear as to what lay ahead. Even though Dave and I both graduated from Cedarville and loved it, it was still a new adventure for Danielle and for us. She didn’t have any friends, had to go to class every day, keep track of her own schedule, and wash her laundry and hopefully her  sheets.

Had I prepared her for all of this?

There were a lot of phone calls that first semester. Never telling me she was lonely, but I knew she was. It takes time to build a new community. It takes intentionality. It takes hard work and perseverance to begin a new life.

A Day to be Proud of

Danielle, I am so proud of who you have become. I am so proud of your desire to be intentional with people. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. You have a great work ethic. You are faithful. You have a great sense of humor.  Most importantly, you love God and your walk with Him is evident by the fruit in your life.

So on Saturday as you hear your name called…you feel that hard earned diploma in your hand…and you walk across that stage as a college graduate never forget the simple things that made you who you are.

Our morning times learning about the Lord around the kitchen table. The shoe throwing game. The voices from the Land of Narnia. And a family that loves you more than you will ever know.

We are proud of you!

Posted by ddykema5@gmail.com in The Seasons of Motherhood, 1 comment